Latest "Etiquette Edge" Posts
March 8, 2012
If you have a business dinner coming up and you want to impress your boss or a potential client, you can avoid dining blunders–and ensure business success at the table–by following these dining etiquette tips.
The Dos
- Do eat something before you go to dine with a client or someone higher in rank in your organization so that you won’t appear too hungry.
- Do avoid talking with your mouth fill. Take small bites, and you’ll find it’s easier to answer questions or join in table talk.
- Do wait until you have swallowed the food in your mouth before you take a sip of your beverage.
- Do remember that with place settings, spoons and knives are on the right and forks are on the left. Solids (food) are always on your left and liquids (beverages) are on your right. An easy way to remember which plate or water glass is yours is to think B.M.W – From left to right it’s bread, meal, water (B.M.W.)
- Do leave your plate where it is when you have finished eating–with the knife and fork in the 10:20 I am finished position. Place the tips of the utensils at 10 o’clock and the handles at 4 o’clock.
- Do look into, not over, the cup or glass when drinking.
- Do butter bread on the plate, never in midair.
- Do remember your posture at the table. Sit up straight, and keep your arms (including elbows) off the table.
- Do leave dropped silver on the floor. Quietly signal the wait staff to bring another piece.
- Do remove an object such as a bone or gristle from your mouth with your thumb and index finger and place it on the rim of your plate.
The Don’ts
- Don’t, in serving, overload your plate.
- Don’t, in eating, overload the fork.
- Don’t mop your face with your napkin.
- Don’t saw the meat in a back and forth motion. Stroke it toward you.
- Don’t touch your face or head at the table.
- Don’t reach across the table or across another person to get something. If it’s out of reach, ask the closest person to pass it to you.
- Don’t pick your teeth at the table, either with a toothpick or with your fingers. If something gets caught in your teeth, excuse yourself and take care of the problem in the privacy of the restroom.
- Don’t push your plate away from you when you’ve finished eating.
- Don’t gesture with your knife, fork, or spoon in your hand. If you’re not using the utensil, put it down.
- Don’t eat your neighbor’s bread or salad. A right-handed person reaches to the left across the dinner plate to eat salad. The bread and butter plate is placed slightly above the salad plate. (Remember, solids [foods] on the left.)
Etiquette knowledge has always been a valuable business tool. Being able to handle yourself well at the dinner table is at least as important as your skills in a boardroom.
“They don’t teach etiquette anymore, but if you ever have to choose between Incredibly Advanced Accounting for Over Achievers and Re- medial Knife and Fork, head for the silverware.” Harvey MacKay
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Posted by Margaret in Dining Etiquette
March 5, 2012
Do you wish that you were one of those people who could deliver a clever toast at the drop of a hat? Do you resist the urge to stand and offer a toast because you aren’t sure of the proper etiquette and protocol?
Composing and delivering a toast that is eloquent, poignant, heartfelt or even witty can be a challenge. The ability to deliver a toast is an art. Mastering the ability can turn the simplest occasion into a memorable event.
There are many kinds of toasts but to keep it simple we’re going to focus on the three traditional toasts. They are:
- The welcome toast: Delivered by the host at the beginning of an event.
- The event toast: Delivered by the host or MC acknowledging the guest of honor, event, or occasion. This toast is generally given at dessert of immediately after.
- The thank you toast: Delivered by the guest of honor demonstrating appreciation to the host.
If you want to lift your glass, but are fearful of committing a faux pas, follow these few pointers:
- When giving a toast at a large table, always stand.
- Never tap the side of your glass with a utensil to get attention.
- The host is the one to start the process. If there is a guest of honor, after the host has made the toast about the occasion, the guest of honor may rise and respond with a toast to thank the host.
- Follow the four 4B’s for delivering a successful toast: be prepared, begin, be brief, and be seated.
- Don’t touch your glass while you are being toasted. This is the equivalent of congratulating yourself.
- Do not turn your glass downward if you’re a non-drinker. It is perfectly acceptable to toast with water or any other non-alcoholic beverage.
- And last, but not least: Sip, don’t guzzle.
There are so many occasions where a toast is appropriate and engaging. If you know you’re attending a special occasion, it helps to be prepared. Write down what you intend to say. Keep it short and practice delivering the toast out loud until you feel comfortable and confident giving it.
A well-delivered toast is a gracious gesture that can make a simple moment special.
“No toast except his own should last longer than 60 seconds.”
– Mark Twain
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Posted by Margaret in Dining Etiquette
February 16, 2012
Showing up for a job interview without preparation is like showing up for a final exam without studying!
To provide a positive first impression—and ace your job interview—there are a few things you can do BEFORE the big day.
- Do your research. Find out everything you can about the organization where you’re interviewing. Combine that with the type of position you’re applying for within the company. Don’t be caught off guard if asked: What do you know about our company? (What they really want to know is: Did you prepare for this job interview by doing some research about us?)
- If you plan to bring your portfolio, or any other information, take time to organize it well before you leave the house. You don’t want to appear disorganized by having to flip through documents to find a copy of your resume or examples of your work.
- A day or two before your scheduled interview, scope our your interview location. Determine how long it will take you to get there on the day of your interview. Take into considerations things such as traffic flow for that time of day, construction detours, and anything else that may delay you. Everything you do and say at your interview is being reviewed—and your first test is to see if you show up on time.
- If you carry a puse, make sure it’s well organized. That way if you’re asked for additional information during the interview, you can retrieve it quickly and easily.
- Make sure your clothing is clean and doesn’t need repair (and that it fits properly!). Avoid flashy jewelry. Keep it simple. Many people make the mistake in thinking that no one will notice the small details. People do, especially when it’s their job to assess you to see if you’re a good fit for their company.
Have you interviewed for a job recently? Or are you a hiring manager who has some interview tips to share? We’d love to hear from you! Post in the comments below!
For additional interview etiquette tips, read “Outclass the Competition with Simple Interview Etiquette.“
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged business etiquette tips, job interview
February 10, 2012
With mobile technology today, it’s easy to scan an email, click “reply,” and send off a quick response without giving much thought to what you’ve written. And that can be dangerous.
When it comes to business communication—regardless of the mode of delivery—professionalism and courtesy should always be the first rule of thumb.
Here are some ways you can perfect your email etiquette to ensure you’re sending the “right” message:
Be clear in the subject line. The subject line should be a summary of the email message. Be clear and concise in the description. If you are emailing the same recipient on multiple topics, separate the emails by topic so the recipient can easily follow the trail of responses back and forth.
Keep the message brief and to the point. Your message should be brief and to the point, but not so slight that the message is lost. If the email includes several “back-and-forth” communications, delete irrelevant text so that no one has to scroll through a lengthy email to get the message. Keep only what is relevant to the conversation.
Avoid shortcuts and emoticons (use real words). As texting is becoming a popular way to communicate, you might find yourself tempted to use shortcuts in your email. Don’t do it! “The proposal looks ‘Gr8’” is not an acceptable response in business. And smiley faces might be nice to include in your personal email, but it makes your business communication look less than professional. If you wouldn’t use it in a written letter, don’t use it in a business email. J
Refrain from one-line responses. Not every email needs a response. Sending an email with a “Thanks!” or “Okay,” is unnecessary. If you don’t anticipate a response, you can also put “No Response Necessary” in the subject line of your email.
Don’t yell! Most people know this, but as a refresher: DON’T USE ALL CAPITAL LETTERS OR OVERSIZED FONTS (greater than 12 pts) in your business emails. The recipient will feel as though they are being yelled at.
Don’t Reply to All unless necessary. Be certain that “reply all” is appropriate. Does everyone on the original thread need to see the response? Our inboxes are already overflowing with email—think twice before sending a reply to everyone.
Follow the rules. As with any written communication for business, use grammar and punctuation in a normal manner.
Breathe and proofread. Have you ever received an email that just made you angry? And in the heat of the moment, you sent off a quick (and-maybe-not-so-nice) reply, without really thinking? When you receive an email that “sounds” confrontational, breathe and think carefully before you fire off a reply. When you’re finished crafting your response, proofread it one last time to be sure you are responding in a professional manner. The danger with email communications is that we can’t hear tone—and oftentimes, communications are misconstrued. Don’t assume. You know what happens then…
Respond promptly
Even if you cannot yet provide an answer, replying to someone’s e-mail within 24 hours lets the sender know that you received it. Sending immediate responses also keeps you organized and up to date on your e- mail correspondence.
Close with courtesy. Think letterhead here. Your signature should include your name and contact information—but should always close with courtesy. Something to the effect of “Sincerely,” or “All the best,” or “Thank you” works!
Even with the evolution of digital communication (and maybe even because of it), I still believe that the way we communicate with people sends a clear message.
What do you think?
“There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it.” Dale Carnegie
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette
February 3, 2012
There are few situations that will make people squirm more than running into someone they know, and have met several times, and drawing a blank on their name.
If this has happened to you, rest assured, you’re not alone. Remembering names is something many people struggle with—and yet it’s one of the most important things you can do to connect with others. Being able to use someone’s name (and pronounce it correctly) can set you apart and show you are interested in them.
So how do you remember names when you’re introduced to dozens of people at a function or business meeting?
Start with these five tips to remembering names and you will be in great shape!
- Pay attention. First and foremost, pay attention when you meet someone. Really listen to their name and how it is pronounced. Often, when we meet someone, there is a lack of focus on what is important—such as the person’s name. We can be so busy thinking of what they are going to say AFTER the greeting, we totally miss the important details.
- Repeat the person’s name. When introduced, repeat the person’s name out loud. For example, “It’s wonderful to meet you, Tzaddi.” Use the person’s name during conversation. This will reinforce your memory, as well as make that person feel important.
- Remember a unique detail about the person. Many of us are visual learners, so associating something physical with a person will help us remember. Laura has brilliant green eyes, the greenest you’ve ever seen. Tuck that detail away, associated with her name. The next time you see Laura, you’ll notice her green eyes and it will help you recall her name.
- Repeat the name to yourself. If you’ve just met a group of people, and now you’ve stepped away, look toward the group and quietly repeat their names to yourself.
- Write the name down as soon as you can. If you are not presented with a business card, write the name down as soon as you can in a notebook or journal. This will provide a good reminder for future meetings.
You can master the name game! Once you make this a priority, it will become a habit that will put you miles ahead of the competition.
“A person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” ~ Dale Carnegie.
Don’t miss next week’s blog post. We’re talking about business email etiquette. Subscribe to the blog to get the latest etiquette tips delivered to your mailbox!
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged how to remember names, networking etiquette
January 21, 2012
Looking for ways to enrich your referral strategy this year? Here are seven action points to help you develop valuable relationships and cultivate a network of endless referrals.
Secret #1. Know the Industry Norm for Referring
Follow the industry’s guidelines when making referrals. For example, in some industries, a formal referral letter is standard; in others, a phone call will suffice.
Secret #2. Disclose a Finders Fee Up Front
When it comes to commissions, make sure everyone is in the information loop. By communicating the arrangement upfront, you’re less likely to cause misunderstandings or fall-outs after the fact.
Secret #3. Find Opportunities to Reciprocate Referrals
Referral reciprocity helps build lasting, trusting relationships, shows appreciation, and strengthens business bonds. This reciprocity feeds on thoughtfulness. Continued business success results.
Secret #4. Always Speak with Respect
Be professional and positive at all times. Know that you put the referring agent in a good light if the match is successful. Also, if you speak ill of others, it could get back to them just as fast as they can flip their Rolodex to a new business contact. Capital “R” referral etiquette means showing respect for everyone involved: both those who connect the parties and those who have something to give.
Secret #5. Keep Track of Where a Referral Came From
If you were referred to for your specialty, stick to what you specialize in. Send your referral back to the referring agent if additional work needs to be done. This builds trust and sets the stage for future referrals. Keep track of who referred you so you can officially thank them.
Secret #6. Send “Thank You” Notes to All Referral Sources
Say “thank you” to all referring agents, whether you take on the work or not. If you do the work, show your gratitude by sending each of them a formal “thank you” note when you complete it.
Secret #7. After the Connection, Follow Up
Follow up via phone or email to your referring sources. This will strengthen your relationship, improve how you do business together, and keep your name “top of mind” when the next opportunity comes along.
Follow this basic format for all your referrals and feel confident that your referral etiquette is on track for business success.
For more business etiquette tips and advice, download “The Power of Polite: A Guide to Etiquette in Business” today (and get one step ahead of your competition!)
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged business referral tips, referral etiquette
January 12, 2012
Make no mistake, etiquette is as important in business as it is in everyday life. Knowing how to present yourself with a positive professional image will give you the ability to set yourself apart from your peers, and excel in business.
Sometimes it can be the little things that you do—or don’t do—that can make or break your career.
Here are my picks for the top five business etiquette faux pas (and how you can avoid them):
- Taking calls or texting while in conversation with others. When engaged in a conversation, turn your cell phone off—or put it on vibrate. If you must take a call, excuse yourself and find a quiet place to talk, away from everyone.
- Not being fully present to conversations. Stay engaged when talking with someone. In person, always use direct eye contact when speaking with people. When on a call, avoid the temptation to check email!
- Bad mouthing others. This should really go without saying, but unfortunately we know it happens all the time. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt: “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
- Arriving late for a meeting. Punctuality is a must! Being tardy tells others that you don’t value their time, and that other things are more important to you than they are. Make a conscious decision to stay on schedule. Set a reminder on your calendar, or your smartphone, to alert you in plenty of time to arrive at the meeting on schedule.
- Making excuses for not living up to your commitments. Honor your commitments. When people know you will do what you say, when you say it, you will gain trust—and be successful. Avoid the stress, and embarrassment of failing to keep your commitments by assessing your ability to complete a task BEFORE you take it on.
What’s the biggest etiquette faux pas you’ve encountered? Share in the comments below!
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged business etiquette, business etiquette tips
January 4, 2012
At this time of year, more than ever, fitness centers are filled with people determined to get back into a healthy routine.
For gym-goers who haven’t been in a while, or who are new to working out, here are a few simple etiquette guidelines that will make your experience, and your fellow gym-goers experience, more enjoyable.
- Flex a little consideration. Replace weights and set equipment back to the lowest setting after use and never let weights drop after exertion.
- Watch your time. Most gyms have a 20-25 minute limit on cardio equipment. Play within the limit.
- No sweat. Carry a personal sweat towel and wipe down the equipment with product provided by the gym after each use.
- Dress the part. Save your flip-flops for the beach. Proper fitness shoes are a must, as is proper exercise clothing and gear. Leave your belly button ring at home and choose a top that covers your navel—and pants that cover your “you know what!”
- Safety first. Use a spotter for challenging weight lifting moves.
- Take turns. Let someone else have an opportunity to use the machine while you’re recovering from your set.
- Save your breath. You’ll get the most from your workout if you avoid distractions—and so will those around you. Be courteous and keep your phone in your bag while you’re on the gym floor. Note: If you’re able to talk easily while exercising, you may not be exerting enough effort!
- Use common sense when it comes to scents. Not everyone will enjoy your particular perfume—some may even be allergic—so when in close quarters, like the gym, keep it clean and fresh. Save the perfume for after your workout.
- Be aware of personal space. If you’re participating in an aerobics or any other group class, always be aware of where your classmates are situated. This is to avoid collisions and to respect personal boundaries.
- Exercise patience. If someone is using the machine you’re waiting for, instead of hovering over him, find another piece of equipment to use or take a water break while you wait.
By exercising your “gym manners muscle,” you show consideration and confidence. Bring these characteristics to every work out and enjoy yourself!
What are your biggest gym-time pet peeves?
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged gym etiquette tips, new year
December 22, 2011
This is the time of year when people start thinking about New Year’s resolutions and creating goals. For some it is easy to look at all of the things in our life we want to enhance or improve to follow through on in the coming year, for other it is more of a challenge.
But before turning the page to 2012, spend some time reflecting on all the things you’ve accomplished in 2011.
Sometimes we forget the hurdles we’ve overcome, the barriers we have broken through and the accomplishments we’ve already ticked off the list.
Before I even think about reviewing my goal cards, I spend some time compiling a list of 100 accomplishments or successes I’ve had throughout the past year. Yes, 100! I usually do this between Christmas and New Years. At first the list flows and when I slow down I know it is time to put it aside for a couple hours or a day. When additional items come to mind I go back to the list and add them and the flow begins again. Give yourself permission to take a few days or even up to a week to complete it.
My “List of 100 Accomplishments” is a great exercise that helps me appreciate and celebrate how much I’ve achieved over the year. It also puts me in the right frame to review my goals and what additions or deletions I want to make for the upcoming year.
Give it a try! Grab a pen and paper or open a fresh new Word document on your computer and start your own “List of 100 accomplishments in 2011” today! Then, come back and tell us what you learned from the exercise.
Wishing all of you a very happy New Year!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged 100 accomplishments 2011, goal setting for new Year, personal growth
November 28, 2011
With the holiday season fast approaching, it’s likely you’ll be attending more social functions than any other time of year. And many of those social gatherings will include business colleagues, executives, and clients—and your supervisor. One of the key things to remember when attending a business function—especially as the holiday festivities kick into high gear and everyone is in the spirit of the season—is that “it’s still business.” How you present yourself at these out-of-office functions is a direct reflection on you—even when there’s champagne flowing and Christmas carols playing in the background.
Here are a few business dining and entertaining etiquette tips to help keep you on track:
- Dress for success
- Arrive on time
- Wear a smile
- Handshakes matter
- Introduce yourself to others
- Be a good listener
- Ask others about themselves
- Good mouth others
- Remember the platinum rule – “Treat others as they would like to be treated”
- Be gracious and send a thank you note
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged business etiquette tips for holidays
