December 29, 2020
I love the promise of a New Year’s resolution, but let’s face facts: Most people abandon theirs by Jan. 19. That’s not even three weeks of trying to change! After years of personal goal setting and coaching clients through overcoming obstacles, I’ve found that most resolutions fail for a very simple reason.
We just don’t plan for being human.
We have a fantasy that, through sheer force of willpower, we’ll be able to tackle our resolutions no matter what life throws at us. Unfortunately, that’s often not the case. When we need to accomplish something difficult, many of us shoot for perfection rather than progress — and that’s a surefire way to sabotage ourselves.
This year, don’t just set a resolution. Make a sensible to plan to achieve progress you can build on. By this time next year, you’ll be amazed at what you’ve managed to accomplish.
Go for standards rather than goals.
A goal is something you reach and then try to top. For example, let’s say I want to bill $3,000 worth of business each week. Once I reach that goal, I immediately set the number higher.
A standard is a habit that becomes part of who you are. My standards include sending one thank-you card a day and writing down three things I’m grateful for.
Goals are great for helping us feel like we’re improving, but it’s better to set standards that will serve you well over time (and now that we’re home more and have fewer distractions, it’s a great time to lock new standards in).
Focus on the short term.
The world is moving too quickly to plan very far ahead. Who knows what technology and our day-to-day lives might be like in five years? Instead of making a long-term plan, set your sights on the next 30, 60, and 90 days and get clear on what you’d like to achieve. How would you like to feel at the end of the month? What changes would you like to see at the end of the season?
Set strategies.
There will be good days and bad days as you improve yourself — even good weeks and bad weeks. You’ll handle hurdles more easily if you set a hiccup-proof strategy to reach your desired outcome.
Let’s say you want to lose 20 pounds. Most people go on drastic diets with high failure rates, and those who succeed often gain the weight back within a year. What would happen if, instead of focusing on the scale, you chose to enjoy eating healthfully? What kind of pleasure would you get from selecting new recipes out of a plant-based cookbook, for example, or having freshly pressed juices delivered to your door? You might not get the payoff of losing a lot of weight in a short period of time, but you’ll build sustainable strategies that will lead to gradual (and lasting) change.
Are you making a resolution for 2021? What are they? I’d love to hear about the changes you’re planning for yourself.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Christmas, Personal development, Time management, Uncategorized and tagged new year, Time management, Happy new year, new year's resolutions, goals, strategies, self improvement
December 19, 2013
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~ Dalai Lama
With the New Year just around the corner, I thought this would be a great time to share 12 ways you can boost your happiness in 2014–both for yourself and for others.
- Compliment others. Make a point of giving one compliment a day to someone. You’ll be amazed at how wonderful that feels (for both of you!)
- Surprise someone. Cook up a batch of cookies and drop them off at your local post office. At this time of year, postal workers are overloaded and will welcome the sweet (and thoughtful) treat.
- Go outside! A study from The University of Sussex found that being outdoors made people happier. And if you really want to get the most out of the weather, keep an eye on the temperature. According research from The American Meteorological Society, happiness is maximized at 13.9 degrees celcius.
- Get some sleep. Studies have found that having a more positive outlook on life is directly linked to improved sleep quality—so be sure to get enough ZZZZs!
- Practice gratitude. Keep a gratitude journal and write down at least three things you are grateful for every day. Or skip the pen and paper and use a gratitude app. I use Gratitude 365 and I love it!
- Take care of your body. There is a ton of research out there to prove the claim that exercise is tied to happiness. That release of endorphins during physical activity does the trick!
- Pay it forward. At a drive-thru coffee shop pay for the order of the next person in line.
- Stay in touch. Make time for family and friends. Sure, we’re all busy, but some of the top five regrets people have when look back at their life is that they wish they had worked less and stayed in touch with friends. Coincidentally, on that list is this: “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”
- Volunteer. Selflessly helping others is a great way to feel good inside—literally! Performing acts of kindness releases serotonin in your brain – which makes us feel more blissful.
- Smile! It’s really difficult to be unhappy when you’re smiling – plus it’s contagious.
- Be in the moment. Make time in the day to stop and breathe. There’s even an app to get you started.
- Recognize! Whether for personal or for business, create a monthly routine where you send out a positive message to a friend weekly or a small gift to one business advocate each month. In your message be specific about why you appreciate their support.
I stumbled across this quote by author Dan Millman recently and thought I think it does a great job of uncovering some of the mystery people have about how to be happy. The fact that happiness doesn’t “find you,” – it’s something you create for yourself through your own actions.
“I’d always believed that a life of quality, enjoyment, and wisdom were my human birthright and would be automatically bestowed upon me as time passed. I never suspected that I would have to learn how to live – there were specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world I had to master before I could awaken to a simple, happy, uncomplicated life.”
Wishing you a very HAPPY and prosperous New Year!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged new year, happiness
January 4, 2012
At this time of year, more than ever, fitness centers are filled with people determined to get back into a healthy routine.
For gym-goers who haven’t been in a while, or who are new to working out, here are a few simple etiquette guidelines that will make your experience, and your fellow gym-goers experience, more enjoyable.
- Flex a little consideration. Replace weights and set equipment back to the lowest setting after use and never let weights drop after exertion.
- Watch your time. Most gyms have a 20-25 minute limit on cardio equipment. Play within the limit.
- No sweat. Carry a personal sweat towel and wipe down the equipment with product provided by the gym after each use.
- Dress the part. Save your flip-flops for the beach. Proper fitness shoes are a must, as is proper exercise clothing and gear. Leave your belly button ring at home and choose a top that covers your navel—and pants that cover your “you know what!”
- Safety first. Use a spotter for challenging weight lifting moves.
- Take turns. Let someone else have an opportunity to use the machine while you’re recovering from your set.
- Save your breath. You’ll get the most from your workout if you avoid distractions—and so will those around you. Be courteous and keep your phone in your bag while you’re on the gym floor. Note: If you’re able to talk easily while exercising, you may not be exerting enough effort!
- Use common sense when it comes to scents. Not everyone will enjoy your particular perfume—some may even be allergic—so when in close quarters, like the gym, keep it clean and fresh. Save the perfume for after your workout.
- Be aware of personal space. If you’re participating in an aerobics or any other group class, always be aware of where your classmates are situated. This is to avoid collisions and to respect personal boundaries.
- Exercise patience. If someone is using the machine you’re waiting for, instead of hovering over him, find another piece of equipment to use or take a water break while you wait.
By exercising your “gym manners muscle,” you show consideration and confidence. Bring these characteristics to every work out and enjoy yourself!
What are your biggest gym-time pet peeves?
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged gym etiquette tips, new year
