Latest "Self Care in challenging times" Posts
January 19, 2021
I was grounded, like so many other frequent flyers, for the duration of 2020. The upshot? More time for my already voracious reading habit. My five top reads helped me refocus and rebuild when the rest of the world seemed to be falling apart. I hope you find inspiration in them, too.
The Leader’s Checklist: 15 Mission-Critical Principles.
Author Michael Useem is a professor at the Wharton School of Business who has mined crucial events throughout history (the American Civil War and the rapid failure of AIG shortly before the Great Recession, for example) to determine how and why great leaders succeed. He distilled these lessons into 15 short lessons that I find fascinating. As a result, I now regularly reference Useem’s checklist to ensure I’m following the right path in my own leadership journey.
Stories That Stick: How Storytelling Can Captivate Customers, Influence Audiences, and Transform Business.
This might be the most influential book I read all year! I find myself turning again and again to Kindra Hall’s storytelling tips and strategies. Hall makes the point that our ability to communicate effectively and persuasively hinges on our ability to connect with our audiences. Storytelling is the way to make it happen. This book is engaging, smart, and an impactful read for anyone, from sales representatives to marketing execs to people who want to improve their public speaking or writing skills.
Limitless: Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, and Unlock Your Exceptional Life. How appropriate that this was written by a person named Jim Kwik! If you’re looking to do more in our increasingly fast-paced, time-strapped world, you’ll love the “3 Ms” Kwik outlines in his book. I may not have the ability to read a book three times faster than normal, as Kwik promises, but I love the empowering feel of his advice.
Pitch Perfect: How to Say It Right the First Time, Every Time.
Bill McGowan is a consultant and correspondent who teaches people how to deliver their messages quickly and with maximum impact. As someone who regularly speaks in front of large audiences, I’m always on the lookout for advice on how to improve my skills — and McGowan truly delivers. His “principles of persuasion” are a must-read for anyone and can be used in your everyday life.
Building the Best: 8 Proven Leadership Principles to Elevate Others to Success.
The last of my five top reads assists those of us in leadership roles. We have an obligation to do our best — and that involves ensuring the success of others. LearnLoft CEO John Eades makes the case that rapidly changing technology and organizations require a different type of leadership. One that is based on carefully encouraging others while keeping an eye on long-term goals. His book gave me a chance to examine and hone my own leadership style.
How about you? What books got you through 2020 and have inspired you to shoot for success in 2021? Have you read any of my five top reads? I’d love to hear your recommendations — I read a book a week, so your suggestion has a good shot at winding up in my must-read list!
#leadership #books #reading #technology #advice #audience #pitching #presenting
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Posted by Margaret Page in Entrepreneur, StartUp, Business, Personal development, Time management, Self Care in challenging times, Uncategorized
August 4, 2020
Our lessons often pop up when we least expect them. Especially when it comes to beauty.
This is exactly what happened to me several years ago. I had agreed to spend a couple days helping two colleagues who were facilitating a workshop in Vancouver. At the end of the first day, the three of us went out to supper to discuss workshop events and plan for the following day. Naturally, the conversation moved to our personal lives. Because I was single, Doreen asked how I was doing in the relationship department. I revealed that I had recently enlisted the services of a matchmaking company.
“The thing is, I don’t like writing my own profile,” I admitted.” The sample profiles I saw all started with, ‘I am attractive, I am beautiful, and I was advised to follow this approach because men often use appearance as a key factor in selecting the women they want to date. But saying ‘I’m beautiful’ just did not feel right to me.
“It’s not that I think I am ugly,” I clarified. “I just don’t look at myself as beautiful. I’m really uncomfortable writing, ‘I am a beautiful woman.'”
Doreen looked directly at me, eyes fixed on mine, and declared, “Margaret, you have to claim your beauty!” I began to squirm. And then I did what I generally do when I do not like where the conversation is going – I changed the subject.
Over the next three days, my mind kept drifting back to Doreen’s assertive statement: “Margaret, you have to claim your beauty.” She was right, of course. Why was I so reluctant to stand up and acknowledge my own beauty? Why did the very idea of it make me uncomfortable?
Somewhere along the way, we learned that it’s wrong to judge people by their appearance, and we’ve carried that lesson one step too far. Some of us are even reluctant to acknowledge another woman’s beauty. Somehow, this seems inherently wrong.
On the last day of the workshop, my attention kept shifting from one group to the other, and then suddenly I noticed her. There she was – across the room, looking radiant.
It was several seconds before I realized the woman who looked so gorgeous was me. Yes, me. I had glimpsed myself in the mirrored panel of a piece of furniture halfway between the two groups. And in that moment, I saw myself as beautiful.
When I shared my discover with Doreen, she was delighted with my news and hugged me tightly.
Elated, I arrived at my dinner engagement that evening with a friend I hadn’t seen in months. Her first comment was, “You look absolutely wonderful!” Twice more through dinner, she said, “I can’t believe how terrific you look.” I beamed.
Later the next day, my real estate agent showed up for an appointment. She walked in and started talking. Halfway through her first sentence, she stopped, looked closely at me and asked, “Did you get a haircut?” I replied, “No.”
She continued talking as we walked to my kitchen. When we got there, she asked, “Did you lose weight?” I replied, “No.”
She kept talking but suddenly stopped and looked at me more intently. Then she said, “Well, whatever you’re doing, don’t stop. You look absolutely terrific.” Patricia’s comments decorated my life like cherries on top of a sundae. A smile crossed my face – you know, one of those smiles that go from ear to ear and almost hurt the kind of smile you give when you’re in love.
I would like to say that euphoric feeling has lasted even to this day, but I have to acknowledge that it has faded, just like being in love can fade. The human mission, it would seem, is to seek flaws and flush out imperfections. Of course, if that’s what we’re looking for, that’s what we see. That’s why we have to keep our attention on our beauty, the magic that naturally radiates from each and every one of us.
From that day forward, I vowed to see much more than my imperfections. Now when I look in the mirror, I wink at myself and say, “Margaret, you are beautiful.”
Not only does this help me appreciate my own radiance, but it also helps me appreciate the beauty of other women as well. Five years ago, I would have felt uncomfortable telling a woman, “You’re beautiful!” But now it just flows out of me, a genuine and heartfelt expression of appreciation. Isn’t that beautiful?
As a coach, I recommend:
1. When you receive a compliment, graciously accept it and “take it in.”
Don’t resist it, don’t argue with it, don’t deflect it or bounce it back to the person who gave it. Take a deep breath and savour it. Smile and say thank you!
2. When you look in the mirror, break the habit of checking for flaws. Instead, wink! Say something complimentary. Then blow yourself a kiss and say, “I am beautiful!”
While this may seem silly or self indulgent at first, it will lighten your spirits and remind you to focus on your beauty. Try it – it works!
3. Let the mirror tell you to just “be” beautiful
Our lives are so filled with “doing” that we rarely take time to enjoy “being” by acknowledging our own beauty. The next time you get ready for the day, tape a note or write directly on your mirror: “I am beautiful.” Because you are.
4. Be bold enough to acknowledge another woman’s beauty
We see ourselves so often that we tend to lose perspective. Go ahead, empower another woman by telling her how attractive she looks. It will give you both a lift.
5. Share Beauty Affirmations with your Girlfriends
Spend an evening with your close girlfriends over a bottle of wine (or any other favourite beverage) and take turns sharing what you find beautiful about each other. Focus on outer and inner beauty! This exercise encourages me to give complements more often. You will come back to this evening many times in the future, guaranteed!
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Posted by Margaret Page in Personal development, Women, Self Care in challenging times, Ask Miss Maggie and tagged women, self-care, beauty, beautiful, conversations, compliment, perspective
July 21, 2020
As the pandemic grinds on, whether to wear a mask in public or in shared spaces continues to be a question for some people — but is it a question of etiquette?
Here in my native Canada, where sound policy has helped us avoid the skyrocketing cases we see in other locations, mask wearing still isn’t as accepted as it is in other countries. Yet the evidence is there: Wearing a mask can protect you and the people around you from needless suffering.
Etiquette doesn’t exist just to make the person practicing it look sophisticated; it’s a system of protocols designed to make other people comfortable. From that point of view, wearing a mask is the right thing to do (never mind the health benefits). With that in mind, let’s look at the etiquette behind mask wearing.
Follow the law
In some places like in the province of Quebec, wearing a mask isn’t a matter of personal choice — it’s the law. If you are in a location where face coverings are still an individual decision, adhere to the guidance from your local health minister or health authority. You may be required to wear a face covering only in places where social distancing isn’t possible, for instance, rather than every time you leave the house.
Respect the rules when you visit businesses
If the business you’re patronizing requires masks, put one on — if you don’t, you may be at risk of being kicked out. Employees often must serve as enforcers of these rules, which is an extra burden during an already stressful time, so please save them the added aggravation of chasing you through the store!
Set your own rules at home
You are the queen or king of your castle and can decide whether you’d like visitors to wear a mask. If you do require it, let them know ahead of time so they can prepare. The same rule applies for people who might be entering your home, so note that when you arrange for services like repairs or house cleaning. An option is to have masks available at your home for visitors.
Mind your words and your emotions
I’ve learned that it’s impossible to manage or control others. If you absolutely must talk to someone about mask wearing, first state what you are doing and why. Adopt a curious tone: “I’d like to talk to you about face coverings. I noticed you’re not wearing one. May I ask why?” Realize that you may not get the answer you’re hoping for — during this time of heightened emotions, the response may not exactly be favorable. It’s unfortunate that I must say this, but you should also understand that you could be physically at risk if you broach the subject with a stranger.
Limit Exposure when you can
Of course, mask wearing is just one way to prevent the spread of COVID-19. I don’t go to the grocery store anymore and instead opt for grocery delivery. I also take advantage of online retailers like Amazon to reduce the risk of exposure for myself and others. Better yet check out local suppliers that will deliver to you.
Are you wearing a face covering? How do you broach the subject with guests in your home or with friends and family who don’t like to wear masks? I’d love to hear about your experiences in the comments below.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Personal development, Self Care in challenging times, Uncategorized, Etiquette Edge and tagged hand sanitizers, Gain Confidence, Covid-19, Masks
March 31, 2020
After a meeting in Denver a couple of weeks ago, I took a flight back home to Canada and immediately went into self-imposed isolation. I went into my alone time with a gung-ho attitude and made lists of everything I would like to accomplish. I was ready!
My birthday was a few days into my isolation period, so my daughter and grandsons left a beautiful Black Forest cake on my doorstep. As I smiled and waved at them through my front-door window, I noticed the youngest’s eyes filled with tears.
It broke my heart.
When I was growing up, we were constantly bombarded with the threat of nuclear war — but we still went to school, played with our friends, and visited our relatives. As I looked at my grandson, the enormity of our current situation hit me and I felt his sense of unease about the future.
I know you’re used to receiving emails from me about how to boost your confidence and your business. But right now, I’m focused on ways I can support you. The truth is, none of us know what will happen next. But what I do know is that this current moment isn’t about discovering new and better ways to make money. It’s not about opportunities to build our brands. It’s about the preciousness of life.
So I’d like to ask you: How are you coping with this period of isolation? Through my work, I’ve learned that most of us can be broken into two groups — those who crave certainty and those who thrive on variety. With that in mind, here are a couple of tips to help you stay positive.
If you feel like your world is heading out of control
The only thing we can change in this moment is ourselves. If you’re missing the order and routine of your pre-coronavirus existence, create new rituals!
I’m using this time to introduce habits that will serve me long after the danger from this illness has passed. I’ll be perfectly honest: It has been a bit difficult to create a lock-down routine and stick with it. But if there has been a blessing from all of this, it’s the gift of time. I get up every morning and recommit to my plan for setting improved standards.
Maybe you never had time for breakfast before, or maybe your sleep hygiene hasn’t been up to par. This is your chance to practice self-care while introducing order.
If you are climbing the walls
Make a list of things you want to try, write them down on slips of paper, put them in a bowl and pull one out every time you feel unsettled. I have been re-learning the Rubik’s cube — something I used to be able to do in my sleep — and trust me, that occupies plenty of time. I also mastered this cups routine. Now, I’m tackling some choreography! I’ve also been planting spring greens, a gentle reminder that life continues to grow and thrive.
Take care. Be gentle with yourself. (I’m refusing to beat myself up for eating that Black Forest cake by myself.) Please reach out if you need help. We’ll pull through this together and be wiser for it.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Personal development, Time management, Self Care in challenging times and tagged gratitude, #selfcare #selfquarantine, Self-Isolation, Coping skills
March 19, 2020
These are strange, uncertain times — so many of us are practicing self-isolation in our homes and are cut off from regular contact with friends, relatives, and colleagues.
But this period also presents an unprecedented opportunity!
Instead of seeing your time at home as a jail sentence, it’s time to get creative. If we use our time wisely we can emerge from this pandemic smarter, prepared, and with a new appreciation for life.
Here are 30 ways you can use this time to enrich your mind, heart, and home.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Personal development, Time management, Self Care in challenging times, Uncategorized and tagged #selfcare #selfquarantine
