Latest "Everyday Etiquette" Posts
January 4, 2012
At this time of year, more than ever, fitness centers are filled with people determined to get back into a healthy routine.
For gym-goers who haven’t been in a while, or who are new to working out, here are a few simple etiquette guidelines that will make your experience, and your fellow gym-goers experience, more enjoyable.
- Flex a little consideration. Replace weights and set equipment back to the lowest setting after use and never let weights drop after exertion.
- Watch your time. Most gyms have a 20-25 minute limit on cardio equipment. Play within the limit.
- No sweat. Carry a personal sweat towel and wipe down the equipment with product provided by the gym after each use.
- Dress the part. Save your flip-flops for the beach. Proper fitness shoes are a must, as is proper exercise clothing and gear. Leave your belly button ring at home and choose a top that covers your navel—and pants that cover your “you know what!”
- Safety first. Use a spotter for challenging weight lifting moves.
- Take turns. Let someone else have an opportunity to use the machine while you’re recovering from your set.
- Save your breath. You’ll get the most from your workout if you avoid distractions—and so will those around you. Be courteous and keep your phone in your bag while you’re on the gym floor. Note: If you’re able to talk easily while exercising, you may not be exerting enough effort!
- Use common sense when it comes to scents. Not everyone will enjoy your particular perfume—some may even be allergic—so when in close quarters, like the gym, keep it clean and fresh. Save the perfume for after your workout.
- Be aware of personal space. If you’re participating in an aerobics or any other group class, always be aware of where your classmates are situated. This is to avoid collisions and to respect personal boundaries.
- Exercise patience. If someone is using the machine you’re waiting for, instead of hovering over him, find another piece of equipment to use or take a water break while you wait.
By exercising your “gym manners muscle,” you show consideration and confidence. Bring these characteristics to every work out and enjoy yourself!
What are your biggest gym-time pet peeves?
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged gym etiquette tips, new year
December 22, 2011
This is the time of year when people start thinking about New Year’s resolutions and creating goals. For some it is easy to look at all of the things in our life we want to enhance or improve to follow through on in the coming year, for other it is more of a challenge.
But before turning the page to 2012, spend some time reflecting on all the things you’ve accomplished in 2011.
Sometimes we forget the hurdles we’ve overcome, the barriers we have broken through and the accomplishments we’ve already ticked off the list.
Before I even think about reviewing my goal cards, I spend some time compiling a list of 100 accomplishments or successes I’ve had throughout the past year. Yes, 100! I usually do this between Christmas and New Years. At first the list flows and when I slow down I know it is time to put it aside for a couple hours or a day. When additional items come to mind I go back to the list and add them and the flow begins again. Give yourself permission to take a few days or even up to a week to complete it.
My “List of 100 Accomplishments” is a great exercise that helps me appreciate and celebrate how much I’ve achieved over the year. It also puts me in the right frame to review my goals and what additions or deletions I want to make for the upcoming year.
Give it a try! Grab a pen and paper or open a fresh new Word document on your computer and start your own “List of 100 accomplishments in 2011” today! Then, come back and tell us what you learned from the exercise.
Wishing all of you a very happy New Year!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged 100 accomplishments 2011, goal setting for new Year, personal growth
October 25, 2011
About 15 years ago I was at the orthodontist for an evaluation of my mouth. At the time, my regular dentist had some concerns and sent me off to see a specialist. My concerns were how much pain I would endure—both physically and financially!
When the orthodontist indicated how much the treatment would cost (the price of a small car!) I laughed and giggled at his humor. I really thought he was joking. In my mind, the most I expected to pay was $5,000!
When the orthodontist realized that I thought he was joking he began again, this time more earnestly. “Seriously” he said, “Yes, it will cost as much as a small car—around $25000.”
I could not even fathom that amount and I left his office with the funny story tucked under my arm. The price of a small car? Really? Several months went by before I knew I had to take his advice more seriously. I began the task of planning of how I was going to make it happen.
Eight six-hour appointments and many one hour and two-hours appointments later and…oh.. $30000 later… I now have beautiful teeth that are still my own and don’t present problems when I chew. Am I happy I did it? Yes. That’s why I’m the one you’ll see brushing her teeth in the public washroom after a meal, at a conference, or at a meeting if snacks were served! Do I have guidance on that? Yes, I do! (And it could save you a bunch of money!)
- Always carry a toothbrush and toothpaste with you. This is easier, of course, if you are a woman with a handbag or a person with a brief case. (I always have a backup in the glove box).
- After brushing and rinsing and putting away your tools, take a paper towel or hand towel and wipe out the sink. It’s the right thing to do.
And a big thank you to all you the women who have found me brushing my teeth in the ladies room and rooted me on. Dental hygiene rocks!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged brushing your teeth, dental etiquette
October 5, 2011
Growing up, I’m sure your mother told you to cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough, right? And what did you do? You coughed into your hand, didn’t you?
While coughing into your hand might stop the person directly in front of you from being assaulted with your germs, it’s likely that you will spread those germs to others the minute you touch a door knob or shake someone’s hand.
Proper cough etiquette involves turning your head and coughing—or sneezing–into a tissue, or the inside of your elbow if a tissue is not available.
To help stop the spread of germs, during the cold and flu season, here are a few simple respiratory etiquette tips in mind:
- Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue when you cough or sneeze.
- If you don’t have a tissue, cough or sneeze into your elbow, not into your hands.
- When you blow your nose, throw away the tissue and wash your hands immediately.
- DON’T touch your face (nose, ears, eyes, mouth) with your hands – this minimizes the chance of getting sick!
- Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds.
- Carry a hand sanitizer for times when you don’t have access to soap and water.
When it comes to respiratory etiquette, a few good manners are good for everyone. Stay well!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged cold and flu manners, cough etiquette, respiratory etiquette
September 26, 2011
I’m thrilled to be traveling with my grandson this week! We’re sailing away on Disney Wonder to the port of Los Angeles. It’s always such a joy to spend time with my young grandson–seeing life through the eyes of a child. Everything is such a wonder!
The Disney line of ships are, of course, very kid-friendly, but they are also very sophisticated in design. Disney does a great job of creating an environment and atmosphere that appeals to both young and old. “Sleekness with a touch of fun.”
The cruise ships are getting bigger and bigger these days. The Disney Wonder accommodate up to 2700 people! That’s a lot of sun bathers and dinner guests!
With 2700 people geared up for a week of adventure at sea, there’s bound to be a few that forget the good manners they practice at home. It’s easy to get carried away when you’re feeling carefree, isn’t it?
Here are a guide to good manners so you don’t forget the three “C’s” at sea.
Don’t be a chaise hog. No matter what cruise ship I am on, there are always those invisible cadre of early risers who pile their belongings on lounge chairs on the pool deck to “save” them for later. If you aren’t using the chairs, please leave them available for others.
Follow the dress code. Refer to your ship’s daily program for appropriate attire for the evening’s activities. They will typically provide dining options for those who are keeping it casual for the cruise. If it’s formal wear–don’t show up for dinner in sweats and sneakers.
Mind you children. Even though Disney is family-friendly, that doesn’t mean that children should have full reign of the ship! Besides the fact that it’s unsafe to let kids run around the pool deck or play on the elevators, it interferes with the enjoyment of other passengers. Kids can have fun, safely, and still use the good manners they use at home!
Take your turn. Be considerate of others at the gym and spa. Wipe down the exercise equipment after your workout and don’t extend your stay if others are waiting in line.
Be patient. Disembarking the ship can be a little overwhelming, but it’s something you can’t avoid when cruising. When waiting in line to go ashore, be patient. Don’t be in such a hurry that you compromise the safety of the other passengers.
Don’t complain. With so many people on board, you’re bound to wait in line at guest services for things like cashing a travelers checks or booking shore excursions. Instead of whining and complaining–which no one wants to listen to, anyway– why not strike up a conversation with a guest while you wait. People from all over the world are on board your ship and you might find a new friend while you wait. Besides, you’re on vacation so relax and go with the flow!
Let consideration, courtesy and civility be your guide as you sail the open seas!
photo credit: davecobb
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette
August 29, 2011
Proper manners—the art of practicing good social graces—transcend beyond dry land with something salty dogs call “boating etiquette.” Whether you’re going out on the water for an afternoon of sailing, or for a weekend of sea-faring adventures, the first rule of thumb when you’re a guest on someone’s boat is that the captain (or the skipper) is boss. His boat. His rules. Here are some more tips to ensure you’ll get invited back the next time the boat leaves the dock:
- Ask permission before boarding. When boarding a boat, always ask permission from the person onboard first. “Permission to come aboard” is a standard, and appreciated, boater’s courtesy.
- Buy the fuel. If you’re an invited guest, you should offer to pay for the cost of the fuel. It’s the least you can do and will show your gratitude for being invited along for the ride.
- Don’t show up empty-handed. You can bet your host was at the dock before sunrise readying the boat for the journey. Offer to bring along lunch for everyone. Your skipper will appreciate having one less thing to prepare.
- Pack light, but smart. Bring the minimum amount of clothing for the climate—to conserve space on the boat—but be prepared. Sunscreen, sunglasses, sea sickness medication, a waterproof jacket, non-slip footer, and a warm sweater should be on your list.
- Play it safe. Be sure you know the “rules” of the boat. If you’re captain doesn’t tell you where the safety vests are, ask. And don’t mess with the dials, buttons, gauges, radios, or anything that even resembles an electronic instrument used to keep the boat afloat.
- Help the skipper. Help the skipper only if given specific instructions. This is not the time to improvise.
- Stay out of the way. Use common sense here. The captain has a lot to think about—traffic, weather, waves, the best place to find fish—A boat is a small space, so stay out of the way when you need to.
- Ask before you “go.” Before you use the “head,” get proper operating instructions. No two marine heads operate alike and a clog caused by excessive amounts of toilet tissue can be expensive (and messy!) In some boats, “if it did not go in your mouth it does not go in the head,” so it’s better to ask first!
- Quiet down. If you’re a nighthawk, and you’re spending the night at sea with friends, be sure to keep the noise to a minimum after the “early-to-bed” guests have turned in for the night.
- Keep it clean. Another no-brainer here, but “If you make a mess, clean it up,” or you’re likely to be removed from the captain’s guest list the next time he sets sail. Be sure to dispose of the trash AFTER you dock.
- Don’t rock the boat. Wait until the boat has docked to gather your personal items and make your way off the boat. The sudden shift can distract the captain as he is trying to dock.
Within 24 hours of returning to shore, be sure to send a personalized thank-you note to your captain. It’s not only good etiquette, it will keep you in the captain’s good graces the next time he’s looking for a shipmate!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged boat etiquette
August 20, 2011
Funerals and memorial services are a way for families and friends to honor the deceased and acknowledge a sense of loss. Because there is such emotion involved, attending a funeral can be uncomfortable for some people. Not knowing what to say or do—and what to wear—can add to the stress of the day.
Although customs will vary, depending on location and religion, the following tips can be used as a basic guideline for what to expect:
To Go or Not to Go
A funeral or memorial service for a loved one is a public event and typically anyone who knew the deceased—close family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances—are welcome to attend. If a private service is planned, you will be notified of the details. If you can attend, do. The family will appreciate your presence and support.
What to Wear
Funerals and memorial services are somber occasions and conservative (somber) clothing is appropriate:
- Men: Dark suit or dark pants and jacket
- Women: A dark dress or dark suit
What to Send
Sending a sympathy card, or a personal note, is an appropriate gesture. Choose a card that is in good taste and reflects your relationship to the family.
When someone passes away, it’s very common to send flowers to the bereaved. You can send them to the family’s home or directly to the funeral home.
Keep in mind that:
- Baskets of flowers or plants of any kind are fine
- Floral wreathes and crosses are typically sent by a group as they are usually bigger and more involved
- Close family typically provides casket arrangements and it’s not appropriate to buy this type of arrangement without discussing with the family first.
Often, families request that donations be made to a specific charity in memory of the deceased, in lieu of sending flowers. If you choose to make a donation, make sure that the charity has the name and address of the bereaved family so they can be notified that a donation was made in memory of their loved one.
What to Say to the Bereaved
Expressing sympathy to someone in deep mourning can be difficult. It’s best to keep it short and simple. On arrival, greet the family and briefly offer your condolences.
- Be specific when offering any help. Offer to help with childcare, make dinner, or run errands, for example.
- Avoid claiming that you know how someone feels. Simply let them know that you’re thinking of them.
- Don’t bring up spirituality.
What to Do If
You may be asked to serve as pallbearers or ushers at the service.Here’s what to expect:
Pallbearers: Pallbearers carry or escort the coffin to the burial place. During the service, you will sit at the front, just behind the family. If you are asked to be a pallbearer and are not comfortable carrying the coffin, you may be able to escort it instead.
Ushers: Ushers help escort mourners to their seats before the service. Always try to seat those with the closest relationship to the deceased nearest to the front. Ushers themselves can sit wherever they choose once the ceremony starts.
Eulogies: You may be asked to give a eulogy at the service. If you are not comfortable doing so (or too upset), it’s perfectly okay to decline. If you do decide to say a few words, keep these tips in mind:
- A eulogy is just 2 – 10 minutes long
- Plan what you are going to say before you arrive
- Have someone review your words beforehand
- Share how you knew the deceased, and don’t speak only about your relationship with him or her
- Emphasize the deceased’s best qualities
No one likes to think about death or funerals, but unfortunately it’s a part of life. Even though common sense and good discretion are always the best guides to proper funeral etiquette, knowing what to expect, in itself, can be a comfort. Hopefully these tips helped!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged funeral etiquette
August 13, 2011
When I was a little girl, like many others, I would read under the covers with a flashlight. I didn’t read exciting mysteries, humorous comics or even books that explored anatomy. Instead, I read Emily Post’s book, simply titled, Etiquette. What caused this behavior, you ask? Well it was one nasty experience (though there were probably many, I always seem to go back to this ONE!). I left home one afternoon, feeling like Cinderella going to the ball, only to return feeling like Linda Blair in the Exorcist! And not even a pumpkin…I’ll spare you the details (for now) but it was not a good day!
The truth is, I never wanted to ever feel embarrassed or uncomfortable like that again.Who does? So I went in search of knowledge that would guide me in being more comfortable in social interactions or difficult situations.
No one wants red flags going off when you’re to impress your boss or that special person who’s caught your eye. Instead… know the Power of Polite.
I hope you enjoy!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged good manners, emily post, Margaret Page, the power of polite ebook
August 4, 2011
Everywhere you look, people are on cell phones. In the grocery stores, restaurants, movie theatres, shopping malls and doctor’s offices, people are talking (or texting) on their phone. Just the other day I saw a woman jogging in the park with a cell phone up to her ear. It just looked odd to me somehow.
There has been an explosion of smartphones on the market, and everyone seems to be texting. This has added an additional layer of communication etiquette challenges to the mix. It’s quieter to text someone, and it would appear that it’s less distracting, but if you’re with someone and you’re not fully engaged because you’re answering every beep and buzz from your cell phone, well that is not good manners. I know I don’t want to be sitting down for a romantic dinner with a man who is answering a text from the other side of the table!
Hold that call!
By taking a cell phone call while in the presence of others, you’re saying to the person you are with “there is something or someone more important than you are.”
Alternately, have you ever grabbed a call just because it was ringing? Even though you didn’t have time to chat. You probably would have been far better off letting it go to message. Right? Well, the same is true when answering a cell phone while with other people. It’s a distraction from the current conversation and often even changes the dynamics of the conversation after the intrusion.
As much as we talk on cell phones these days, there still seems to be a lot of people who don’t have a grasp on the etiquette of cell phone use yet. Just because we can talk to whomever we want, whenever we want, wherever we want, does that mean we should completely forget our manners?
Here’s a quick review of some cell phone etiquette tips:
- Don’t use cell yell when taking calls in public. Your voice sounds different on a cell and is louder and carries farther than you think.
- Avoid talking about personal topics when other people can hear you.
- If you must take a call when you’re already engaged in a face-to-face conversation, ask permission of the people who are with you. Then move away from them so they can carry on their conversation without your distraction.
- Do NOT text during face-to-face conversations.
- Maintain a distance of at least 10-feet from the nearest person when talking on your cell phone.
- When the lights are turned off, your phone should be, too (movie theatres, playhouses, etc.)
- Don’t place your cell phone on the dinner table, anywhere.
- Use common sense. Your phone should be turned off or to silent during a job interview, funeral, wedding, at the gym, in the bathroom, during a presentation, or any other setting where a quiet atmosphere is mandated.
Do you think there are others that belong on the list of cell phone dos and don’ts?’ List them in the comments section below.
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged cell phone etiquette, manners, business etiquette, texting etiquette
July 15, 2011
I live in a community that is known for its beautiful scenery, slow living pace and romance. We are not known for our great customer service, and I can see that we’re really not putting our best foot forward.Every summer my grandson comes to stay with me to take a two-week swimming class at the local pool. Last year I was somewhat surprised when one of the moms offered me her seat. I have to confess that on the one hand I was delighted with her manners, on the other I felt like my middle age was showing.
This year it’s a whole new story. Several times this week, tweens (under 14) were sitting in the seats at the pool while other parents stood by. And this morning a man kept his seat while a woman rose to offer me hers. I guess her mother taught her about good manners.
While I am delighted we are known for romance. It would also be wonderful if we were known for our manners and great customer service.
How can you do that? By having awareness and showing courtesy to those around you—no matter how old you are. And a note to the moms: If you don’t see it, we sure can’t expect it from your children.
The fact of the matter is this: Common manners aren’t so common anymore.
What about you? Have you been in situation where you found yourself surprised by someone’s lack of courtesy?
Share in the comments below!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged first impressions, manners, good manners, Gain Confidence, Class and Communication Skills with Etiquette Products
