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August 10, 2018
You’re often interrupted in the middle of a sentence. Colleagues railroad you when you try to make a point at a meeting. You’re introduced multiple times to the same person — and she never remembers encountering you.
I hear complaints such as these quite often in my coaching business. A client might blame others for being rude, overly ambitious, or thoughtless. Unfortunately, I have to explain that the problem isn’t other people — it’s the client himself.
There’s a simple explanation: All day, every day, we telegraph information about ourselves without speaking. Our body language and movements have a huge impact on the way others perceive us, interact with us, and defer to us.
The good news is that awareness is the first step to claiming your power as a memorable, compelling person. Here are five common mistakes that may be holding you back (and how to fix them).
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Posted by Margaret Page in Communication and tagged first impressions
July 10, 2018
Over the past 9 months, I made over 500 phone calls to people around the world.
If you’re in a high-volume industry, such as sales, 500 calls might not sound terribly impressive. But for most of us in North America — unlike our counterparts in China and South America — phone calls are a dying breed. Americans, for example, spend six minutes per day on voice calls compared to 26 minutes for text messages. Millennials, as a rule, are more likely to text than call.
So why did I make 500 personal calls rather than rely solely on emails or even texting apps like Line or WhatsApp? Because hearing someone’s voice and having a real time conversation is a better way to make a personal connection.
I’m not suggesting you switch to an all-call communication style. But I did have several revelations that might encourage you to pick up the phone rather than peck at your keypad.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Uncategorized and tagged cell phone etiquette, cell phones, communication
May 26, 2018
Instant messaging has revolutionized the business world, with services like WhatsApp, LINE, and WeChat taking the place of phone calls and email. In fact, emails have become so outmoded — especially among younger generations — that some businesses have eliminated internal email altogether.
But if you’re new to this back-and-forth, rapid-fire style of communication, instant messaging can be a dizzying experience — and open you up to unexpected gaffes. Navigating the waters in tricky enough that some wealthy Chinese women take etiquette classesthat feature an entire module on WeChat, China’s most popular instant messaging service.
No matter the platform, there are a few basic rules that will keep you from annoying, insulting, or otherwise infuriating your instant messaging contacts.
Understand notification settings. Unlike email or voicemail, your recipients on instant messaging services can see whether you have received and read their messages — and if you let a long period of time go by without responding, it’s nearly as bad as not paying attention to someone who is speaking to you in person. Respond to direct messages promptly, even if it’s to say that you’ll follow up later.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Business Etiquette, Communication, Etiquette Tips, Everyday Etiquette, International Etiquette and tagged etiquette tips for communication
May 21, 2018
Constructive feedback can unlock doors. It can help you see the world, and your role in it, in a new light — the best leaders understand this, learn from feedback, and grow.
So why do I cringe internally when I hear, “I have feedback for you?”
I know I’m not alone in this reaction. For many people, “feedback” immediately calls to mind childhood memories of being called into the school principal’s office. This invaluable tool becomes its own form of punishment.
I’ve learned through uncomfortable experience that feedback itself isn’t the problem; rather, it’s the way it’s delivered.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Uncategorized
May 8, 2018
Twenty-five years ago, the idea that I could open a small screen in Canada and have a meeting with a colleague in Indonesia was absolutely something out of a science fiction novel. Now, it’s something I do on a weekly basis — and I’ve noticed that virtual meetings are just as rife with etiquette faux pas as in-person meetin
Live chat, screen shares, and video cams are an essential part of doing business today, but they have their own special rules and challenges. I’ve run hundreds of virtual meetings over the years and learned from my mistakes. Here are my top tips to help you leave the right impression and make the most of your screen time.
Common Courtesy
- Find a quiet space. Obviously, noisy coffee shops are not ideal. If working from home, keep the barking dogs and kids in another room. In the office, close the office door or find a conference space.
- Avoid distractions. Focus on the meeting and avoid temptation to scan the web or look at your phone.
- For video calls on Skype or other platforms, dress in business casual and be well groomed. If working from home, test the camera angle to make sure a neutral background is all that is visible (not breakfast dishes and sweatpants).
- If possible, invest in a good headset and mic that cancel out background noise.
Tips for Hosts
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Posted by Margaret Page in Business Etiquette, Communication, Etiquette Tips and tagged technology, #businessetiquette
April 11, 2018
Technology has allowed us to automate large parts of our lives, including our birthday wishes to friends and professional contacts. Social media have made it so convenient each day to let us know who is having a birthday today or in the days to come. Some platforms even provide a space where we can write a few words, hit enter, and get back to our day — all within ten seconds. And because it’s so easy, we tend to get an avalanche of posts on our birthday.
I just experienced this, receiving over 400 birthday messages. I felt a lot of warmth in the notes and appreciated all the birthday love. It felt fabulous to reconnect with people I hadn’t spoken to or heard from in a while.
When I am extending a birthday wishes I can’t help but wonder how many messages simply get blurred together into a stream of identical wishes that seemed to be written on auto pilot.
With this in mind, if you want your birthday post to have more of an impact — making the recipient feel special and helping to deepen your relationship with them — you have to put some consideration into it. To send a wish that registers in a more meaningful way, keep the following in mind:
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Posted by Margaret Page in Uncategorized, Business Etiquette, Communication, Etiquette Tips, Everyday Etiquette
April 11, 2018
Women, tell me if you’re familiar with this scenario: You tell a colleague that her work on a presentation was stellar — clear, concise, funny, thoughtful. You walked away with amazing insights and tell her you appreciate her hard work.
And then she brushes it off.
“Oh, it wasn’t that good,” she says.
Or, “I had a lot of help.”
Or maybe even: “I could have done better if I had done more to prepare.”
Sound familiar? You might be cringing right now because you’ve been that woman throwing away a compliment as if it were a hot potato. Can you imagine a man doing such a thing? Why is it that we have such a difficult time just saying, “Thank you! I worked hard.” Or, even better, taking that compliment to heart and really savouring it?
The urge to throw away compliments is real. According to a study by Robert Herbert, a sociolinguist, compliments given from one man to another were accepted 40 percent of the time. Yet women accept only a dismal 22 percent of compliments from other women. (Interestingly, woman accept compliments 68 percent of the time when given by men.)
What makes us throw up our compliment armor? There are several reasons why.
- We don’t want to stand out. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true: Women who stand out from the crowd can be perceived as overly ambitious or social climbers. Rejecting a compliment keeps you on a level playing field.
- We don’t want to seem stuck up. Accepting a compliment can make it seem like you’re acknowledging something good about yourself — and in a woman’s world, even the simple act of saying “thank you” can be perceived as self-aggrandizement.
- We think we’re being tricked. Laura Brannon of Kansas State University says that if we think the complimenter wants something out of us, we’re less likely to believe the compliment.
So what would the world look like if women started accepting more compliments? Personally, I think more women would be empowered in their day-to-day lives and more courageous in business. When someone gives me a compliment, I take it. If you want to take the time to tell me something nice, I want to take the time to enjoy it. And it shows respect to the compliment giver!
Here are my three tips for accepting any compliment:
- Don’t deflect. Accept the compliment. Say thank you. Not “thank you, but …” Just “thank you.” There’s no need to deflect well-earned praise.
- Don’t insult yourself. Not only does insulting yourself lower your self-esteem, it puts the complimenter in the uncomfortable situation of not only offering you a compliment but also acting as your psychotherapist. Take your praise!
- Avoid a compliment battle. There’s no need to one-up your compliment with another compliment. Not only can the situation turn awkward fast, but you don’t want your compliment to come across as insincere. Save your compliments for when you can be thoughtful and authentic.
What are you going to do the next time someone gives you a compliment? Tell me in the comments below! If you’d like tips on how to give praise, check out this blog post on how to craft the perfect compliment.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Uncategorized, Communication, Etiquette Edge and tagged etiquette tips, grace, appreciation, gratitude, manners, thank you, good manners, compliments, Gain Confidence, Class and Communication Skills with Etiquette Products
April 4, 2018
A friend of mine recently commented that a large number of emails she has received over the past few months seem to begin with “Hi!” or “Hi Jane!” While that’s an appropriate salutation if you are sending a note to a friend, it is not appropriate if you’re reaching out to a business contact—or someone you don’t know personally. An email is a letter, and should be treated as such—from beginning to end.
With our ability to fire off quick emails and send texts that include short-forms of words (LOL) and fun emoticons, when writing a business letter, here are salutation tips to remember…that never go out of style.
Most of the time, in the business arena you will start your e-mail or letter with “Dear Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. or Dr. Hyde or even Dear Margaret –whichever is the appropriate way to address the recipient depending on your relationship with them. Also consider the industry norm and even the culture you are communicating with.
However you begin, the salutation ends with a colon. You know the punctuation mark that’s used in happy faces :0). (Although most people incorrectly use the semi-colon; in salutations.)
It is important to note that traditionally, “Mrs.” Was used for married women and “Miss” was used to address unmarried women. Because this distinction was made only for women—with men always being referred to as “Mr.” regardless of marital status –we now use “Ms.” in salutations to address women unless you know they are married. Most of the time, you will start your letter with “Dear Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. or Dr. ______–whichever is the appropriate way to address the recipient—followed by a colon.
Unless you know that the person you’re sending the e-mail or letter prefers “Miss” or “Mrs.,” always use “Ms.” when addressing her in a formal manner.
If your business letter or email is not being addressed to one particular person at a company, the best practice is to address the company, the department or the specific role. The more specific you are, the more likely your letter will make it to the hands of the appropriate person. If, for example,you’re sending a cover letter with your resume—and you don’t have the name of the human resources director (although it might be better to do some digging as that will probably get your letter to the top of the pile), address the letter with “Dear Human Resources Director.”
As busy as we are today, it’s highly likely that your business correspondence is being sent via Internet rather than through the post office. It’s important to note that even though it’s so easy to send a quick note to a client or business contact by email, the salutation sets the tone for the remainder of the email message.
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Posted by Margaret in Communication, Etiquette Tips, Everyday Etiquette and tagged salutations
December 22, 2017
May your hopes dance like snowflakes in the winter wind, that decorate your life with beauty.
May your dreams glitter like tinsel and illuminate all that you are and all that you can be.
May your world be filled with wonder and may the magic of this season touch you and your loved ones in ways you’ve never imagined.
~ Margaret
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Posted by Margaret in Just for Fun and tagged holiday wish
December 10, 2017
Gift giving, especially during the holiday season when everything is so shiny and bright, can be fun! But holiday gift giving can also be tricky. For example: Do you buy a gift for your boss? What do you do when you’re caught by surprise—when someone gives you a gift and you find yourself empty-handed? Do you rush out and purchase a gift?
Keep in mind that the most important aspect of gift giving is that it comes from your heart. It’s truly a gesture of appreciation extended to those who have touched us in some way throughout the year.
If you receive a gift, graciously thank the gift-giver. If you don’t have one to reciprocate, remember the gift-giver isn’t giving you a gift simply to get one in return. A simple, “How thoughtful of you. Thank you so much,” will be appreciated by the gift-giver.
Other gift-giving tips include:
- Avoid giving holiday gifts that have your logo on it. Gift-giving is a way to show your gratitude.
- Stick to your budget. It really is the thought that counts.
- Include a gift receipt. This tells the person that it’s OK to exchange the gift.
- Your boss would probably prefer you save your money or purchase gifts for others rather than them. It can also make fellow employees uncomfortable if some people give a gift to the boss. Alternatively get together and purchase a group gift for the boss.
- If you’re exchanging gifts with a colleague (or just a select few), be discreet. Choose a time before or after work hours to exchange gifts.
- Regifting is tricky– my advice is to avoid it. If it is discovered that you have regifted, it’s uncomfortable for everyone.
- It’s perfectly acceptable to give a gift to someone who doesn’t celebrate the same holiday.
In addition to gift-giving etiquette questions, this it the time “who to tip”—and how much to tip—is a topic of concern for some. Here are a few tips for holiday tipping that will help you plan for the season.
Happy Holidays!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged holiday etiquette
