April 18, 2012
For many of us, there comes a point in life when we look around and say, “What am I doing with my life?!”
For Joe Griffith, that moment came as he was lying in bed one morning. It was 2008, and life was good… or, so it seemed. He had a big, beautiful house, a luxury car in the garage, a lovely girlfriend, all the latest gadgets, even a printing company.
Yet he couldn’t help but feel that his life was slipping away. Like so many people, he knew he was just going through the motions. Was this really all there was to life? Where was the inspiration? The thrill of being alive?
As he lay in bed, he thought of his sister. She and her husband had worked all their lives, dreaming of the things they would do when they retired – travel to Turkey, cruise the Caribbean, and stand on the Great Wall of China. At 57, she was only three months into her retirement when she fell, hit her head, and died.
That morning, as he lay in bed, Joe resolved to start living a richer, more meaningful life – immediately. But… how?
As he drove to work that day, gazing at the boats on the ocean as he had done so many times before, he felt a stirring in his soul. After a bit of contemplation and a long, inspired talk with his girlfriend Patty, his dream came into focus. Joe wanted to sail.
Within a couple of months, he sold his house, his car, and most of his possessions. Leaving his company in the hands of his business partner, Joe and Patty left Victoria behind and set out for California.
Soon they were the proud new owners of a sailboat. Since they had zero sailing experience, they invested in six days of sailing lessons and then spent two months navigating up and down the coast of Southern California. Feeling confident, they set their sights on Mexico.
Their plan was to sail south around the tip of the Baja Peninsula, stop in Cabo San Lucas, then head north to La Paz and continue into the Sea of Cortez. It would be so warm and peaceful and relaxing – a true adventure to rejuvenate their spirits.
Shortly before they left California, they met a man in port and shared their plans with him over dinner one evening. He listened quietly, then turned to Joe and said, “You took six days of sailing lessons, and now you’re going to sail that boat 2500 km down to La Paz? You’re out of your mind! I have 20 years of sailing experience, and I wouldn’t do it. The two of you are going to die.”
Joe shrugged him off. After two decades of entrepreneurship – a first in his large, blue-collar family – he had the vision and self-confidence to chart his own course. So in March 2009, Joe and Patty set sail for Mexico.
Living the Dream
As you might expect, their journey was not as easy and peaceful as they had dreamed. The spring weather was much colder than expected, and the ocean tested their stamina in ways they never would have imagined.
“The journey from Ensenada to Turtle Bay was extremely challenging,” Joe remembers. “For 72 hours, we battled the ocean nonstop. I figured we could each sail the boat for four hours at a time while the other one slept, but the sea was so rough. The wind was pushing from behind, and the swells were beating against the starboard quarter, knocking us around. We could only steer for an hour at a time before our arms turned to lead and we had to switch. For three days, neither one of us got much sleep. It was so rough….
“But I was living! I had no regrets, because I was finally doing something I really wanted to do, not just following the well-worn path of ordinary life. We were living our dream and it felt incredible – even in the most miserable moments.”
As spring turned into summer, they made their way to calmer waters and balmy weather, and many months passed as they lived the sweet life of an extended vacation: cruising from port to port, catching fish for dinner, reading books on the beach. It was truly idyllic… for a while.
But then, that haunting question returned. “Is this really all there is?”
Two years into their adventure, “We started to crave something more meaningful – a way to make a contribution in the world. A glorious vacation – even the one of our dreams, of our own making – just wasn’t enough to keep us happy in the long term.”
It was time to start the next chapter of their lives. So, they sold the boat and made their way back to British Columbia.
The True Dream: An Inspired Life
Let’s have Joe tell the story from here, in his own words…
When I came back, I was a changed man. The material things of life no longer mattered to me – the big house, the fancy car, the gadgets had all lost their appeal.
But the most impactful moment was the day I walked back into the office. I saw something that left an enormous impression: everyone and everything looked exactly the same. It was as if no time had passed at all. And for the people there, it hadn’t. Each day, they came to work, did their jobs, went through their routines, went home, and woke up the next day to do it all over again. Nothing had changed.
I had been chasing my dreams, learning a new language, meeting new people, learning to sail, battling storms, catching my meals, following my inspiration… but for them, life was exactly the same, day after day. The difference between these two realities was so wide, so important, that I thought about it for many months.
I remembered talking to all these people on my journey who would say to me, “Wow, I would love to do what you’re doing – but I can’t.” I would ask them, “Why? Why can’t you?”
“Well, I still have 15 years to go until I retire.”
I would think of my sister and ask, “But what happens if you die in a week? You could be diagnosed with cancer next month. You don’t know if you’ll be here tomorrow or next week!”
So many people waste their days on menial tasks, doing what they have to do to make a car payment and pay the mortgage… but they are missing out on life (I say from experience).
Figure out what you’re passionate about and go do it! Don’t be stuck in a relationship that’s driving you crazy. Don’t be stuck in a job you don’t like. Don’t do work that doesn’t make you happy.
It seems that the vast majority of people want to wake up and know how their day will unfold. They want to know what they’re going to do at their job, that they’re going to get X amount of money if they keep showing up, so they can pay the mortgage and make the car payment. They want to know what the future’s going to look like. But they stop creating their reality. There’s no inspiration. They’re just floating along.
Some people say, “Well, it’s because we had children.” Okay, but then the children grow up and leave, and then what? What happens next? Do you want to keep sleepwalking through life? Does the human spirit, the desire to dream, get lost among car payments and mortgages?
Quit sleepwalking! Take the time to figure out what your values are. What do you feel passionate about? What do you want? Really, truly think about the question: If you had a month to live, what would you do?
Some people say, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” But I say, face it wholeheartedly. We all know someone who died too soon. Think of someone in your life that you’ve known who died young. Put yourself in that person’s place. How would you live your life? What would you do differently? Almost every single person would say, “Yeah, I would be living differently.”
So why the hell aren’t you?!
I met a woman in California who said she wanted to go back to art school in New York. I asked her, “Then why aren’t you doing it?”
“Well I have a lease on an apartment… and I just bought a new sofa.”
“That’s the best you’ve got?” I asked. “Let’s go to your apartment. I’ll rip up your lease and burn your sofa. Then you will have nothing holding you here. Go!”
When people actually speak their limitations, it comes out kind of funny. It might make all the sense in the world in their heads, but when they finally say it, it’s easy to look at and say, “You’ve got to be kidding. Really? A sofa holds you back from your passion?”
What the world needs is people who are inspired – and it could be anything that inspires you. Plumbing, farming, it doesn’t matter. But do it because you love it – not just as a means to an end.
Questions to Consider:
Did Joe’s story inspire you? Or make you uncomfortable? Yes or no, either answer is fine… but take the next step and ask yourself: WHY? Is there a buried dream, deep inside, that wants to speak up?
Give yourself permission to dream. It’s the first step toward living a fuller, more meaningful life.
And if you have a dream, what would it take to pursue it? What’s holding you back? I encourage you to speak about your dreams with a trusted friend or advisor. Sometimes, our dreams and limitations look really different in conversation than they do in our heads.
Dare to live an inspired life!
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Posted by Amazing Editor in A Page of Insight
March 19, 2012
Your personal appearance is not only an important factor in how you present yourself others, the way you dress reflects the importance you attach to the situations and people around you. If your clothes are unclean or wrinkled, you may appear to be careless and uninterested in the business situation or people you are interacting with.
If you’re dressing for a job interview, be sure to choose attire that projects the image you want the employer to receive. If the company has a “business casual” dress policy, it’s still better to take a conservative approach for the initial introduction. Just because the receptionist told you it was Casual Friday, that doesn’t give you the green light to wear your comfy jeans and your new “TGIF” sweatshirt to the job interview.
Even after you get the job, consider your appearance. Someone once told me this, and it stuck, “I dress to the level I want to achieve.” So, if you want to be CEO, think about how you look when you leave the house in the morning. Do you carry yourself like an executive?
Here are some basic rules of thumb you can follow:
- When meeting with business associates or clients, whether in your office or theirs, you should dress appropriately — if they wear suits, you should wear one.
- If you’re interviewing for a job and don’t have the inside scoop on their dress code, try to scope out the place before your interview to see how the employees are dressed. It’s also perfectly acceptable to contact the receptionist and ask her about the company dress code policy. You can tell her you’re applying for a position at the company without having to introduce yourself.
All business attire, whether traditional or casual, should be reflective of a professional, dignified appearance.
Great men are seldom over-scrupulous in the arrangement of their attire ~Charles Dickens
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged business etiquette, career etiquette, dress for success
March 12, 2012
“I just don’t know what to do!” When you hear yourself utter these words of confusion and frustration, you know you’re at a crossroads. A decision is looming, the stress of uncertainty is pressing, and the fog of inertia is moving in. It can feel like a giant storm is gathering on the horizon.
No one likes to be in this position, but we’ve all been there. It can be very scary to commit to a specific position or course of action, but the ability to make timely, well-considered decisions is a necessary life skill on the road to success, no matter what direction you’re going.
At the core, decision-making is a critical aspect of leadership – whether you’re leading your own life, leading a group, or leading a company. Each person has a specific style that feels most natural. Some people take their time and consider all the angles; others are quick and intuitive. Either approach can work well.
The question is: can you make clear, solid decisions and move forward with confidence?
According to renowned psychologist Herbert Simon, there are two distinct types of decision makers:
• Maximizers try to make an optimal decision, aiming to maximize results and make careful tradeoffs. This can be a time-intensive process – just ask a perfectionist! Maximizers are always on the lookout for better options, but they may not be as smart as they think! Research suggests that the more options a maximizer faces, the more unhappy they become.
• Satisficers simply try to find a solution that is “good enough.” It’s not that they settle for mediocrity; in fact, they make have very high standards. However, as soon as they find something that meets their criteria, the search is over and they feel satisfied. They tend to regret fewer decisions, and they are generally happier in their romantic relationships and lifestyles
Of course, no one is entirely one type or the other. Many people are maximizers in some areas (i.e. large purchases) and satisficers in other areas (i.e. restaurants) – but it’s interesting to note that the more you lean toward being a maximizer, the more anxious and stressed you’re likely to be. (A fascinating and popular book, The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz, explores this in detail.)
In other words, choose your (internal) battles carefully.
Roadblocks to Effective Decision Making
If our thoughts and perceptions are distorted, it can be nearly impossible to make a decision that will lead to a good outcome. Here are a few pitfalls to watch out for:
• Stress – The more pressure you feel, the harder it can be to get clear on how to move ahead.
• Fear of making the wrong decision can mean no decision at all. History is full of examples where battles were lost by a leader’s failure to make a decision – not by making a poor one.
• Wishful thinking – We often want to see things in a positive light; this can distort our view of the situation and the options at hand.
• Source credibility – We reject or accept input from a person, organization, or group based on what we believe about that source. This can skew our thinking, shifting us away from the truth.
• Repetition – We tend to believe what we have been told most often and by the greatest number of sources.
• Inertia – We are creatures of habit. Unwillingness to change what we did or thought in the past can prevent us from exploring new options or recognizing solutions
Take a few minutes to think about how you make decisions. The more you know about your own tendencies, the easier it will be to move ahead in life.
Questions to Consider:
1. Are you more of a maximizer or a satisficer?
2. Which roadblock do you experience most often?
3. When you feel paralyzed by indecision, what is one strategy that gets you moving again?
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Posted by Amazing Editor in A Page of Insight
Inc.com posted an article last week that shared the importance of courtesy and manners – especially in business. One of the “5 Rules that Matter Now” they referenced was elevator etiquette… and with good reason.
