Latest "Etiquette Edge" Posts
December 19, 2013
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~ Dalai Lama
With the New Year just around the corner, I thought this would be a great time to share 12 ways you can boost your happiness in 2014–both for yourself and for others.
- Compliment others. Make a point of giving one compliment a day to someone. You’ll be amazed at how wonderful that feels (for both of you!)
- Surprise someone. Cook up a batch of cookies and drop them off at your local post office. At this time of year, postal workers are overloaded and will welcome the sweet (and thoughtful) treat.
- Go outside! A study from The University of Sussex found that being outdoors made people happier. And if you really want to get the most out of the weather, keep an eye on the temperature. According research from The American Meteorological Society, happiness is maximized at 13.9 degrees celcius.
- Get some sleep. Studies have found that having a more positive outlook on life is directly linked to improved sleep quality—so be sure to get enough ZZZZs!
- Practice gratitude. Keep a gratitude journal and write down at least three things you are grateful for every day. Or skip the pen and paper and use a gratitude app. I use Gratitude 365 and I love it!
- Take care of your body. There is a ton of research out there to prove the claim that exercise is tied to happiness. That release of endorphins during physical activity does the trick!
- Pay it forward. At a drive-thru coffee shop pay for the order of the next person in line.
- Stay in touch. Make time for family and friends. Sure, we’re all busy, but some of the top five regrets people have when look back at their life is that they wish they had worked less and stayed in touch with friends. Coincidentally, on that list is this: “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”
- Volunteer. Selflessly helping others is a great way to feel good inside—literally! Performing acts of kindness releases serotonin in your brain – which makes us feel more blissful.
- Smile! It’s really difficult to be unhappy when you’re smiling – plus it’s contagious.
- Be in the moment. Make time in the day to stop and breathe. There’s even an app to get you started.
- Recognize! Whether for personal or for business, create a monthly routine where you send out a positive message to a friend weekly or a small gift to one business advocate each month. In your message be specific about why you appreciate their support.
I stumbled across this quote by author Dan Millman recently and thought I think it does a great job of uncovering some of the mystery people have about how to be happy. The fact that happiness doesn’t “find you,” – it’s something you create for yourself through your own actions.
“I’d always believed that a life of quality, enjoyment, and wisdom were my human birthright and would be automatically bestowed upon me as time passed. I never suspected that I would have to learn how to live – there were specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world I had to master before I could awaken to a simple, happy, uncomplicated life.”
Wishing you a very HAPPY and prosperous New Year!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged happiness, new year
December 11, 2013
A wonderful vinegar to use as a dressing for salads, this vinegar makes a great hostess gift when presented in a glass jar.
INGREDIENTS
- 6 pounds over-ripe peaches, pitted and roughly chopped
- 3 cups of white wine vinegar
- 1/2 cup honey
DIRECTIONS
Step 1
Bring peaches, vinegar and honey to a simmer in a large saucepan. Cook for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat, cover and let cool completely.
Step 2
Working in batches, puree peach mixture in a food processor until smooth–about 10 seconds. Strain through fine sieve into a large nonreactive bowl. Line sieve with cheesecloth, and place over another large nonreactive bowl. Pour strained peach mixture into sieve. Do not press solids into the sieve. Cover with plastic wrap and let set in fridge overnight (or up to 2 days).
Step 3
Uncover and remove sieve from bowl. Discard solids. Pour peach vinegar int a resealable nonreactive jar or bottle. (Mason jars work great!).
Vinegar can be refrigerated for up to 1 month.
*originally posted on MarthaStewart.com
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Posted by Margaret Page in Etiquette Edge
December 11, 2013
When invited to a party, your first thought (after “what shall I wear”) is probably, “What should I bring?”
Remember it really is the thought that counts. The gift doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate, if you want to make an impression, give it some thought. Be creative!
Here are a few gift ideas and tips that might help get you started:
- Give them a gift that they can use at their next party. Things like cocktail napkins, wine charms, or a party game will come in handy the next time they invite people over.
- Put the dry ingredients for your favorite savory soup into a mason jar. Add a festive ribbon at the top (and be sure to include recipe!)
- There are some great coffee mugs nowadays. Pick up some hot chocolate and arrange in a pretty mug. Add a chocolate spoon and a ribbon and you’re set!
- A spin on the hot chocolate: In a large mug, put a couple packets of hot apple cider mix, wrap it up in a festive cloth napkin and tie two cinnamon sticks to it.
- Measuring spoons, on their own, are not festive, but they do tend to be the first kitchen utensil to disappear. I once received this gift and it was very clever: Put some dry spices in a tea towel and tie it up with measuring spoons. Voila!
- A cheese board, with an assortment of gourmet cheeses, makes a very useful (and yummy) gift.
- Put together a plate of homemade cookies wrapped in colorful cellophane, with the cookie recipe attached with a pretty ribbon.
- A homemade quick bread makes a very thoughtful gift.
- Pick up a bag of specialty teas and wrap it up with this a unique tea canister. I found this one online and it’s just beautiful (and inexpensive!)
- Make your own fruit infused vinegar and decant in a pretty bottle. Go here for the recipe.
One of the best ways to ensure you are ready for a last minute party invite is to pick up small items throughout the year.
Do you have ideas you’d like to share? Add them in the comments below!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged hostess gift etiquette
November 21, 2013
It’s a great time of year to take to the open seas! When you embark on a cruise vacation, don’t forget to pack your manners!
Before you step on board, here are a few cruise etiquette tips to help you — and your fellow shipmates– avoid rocky seas.
Be courteous
You are on a floating hotel, with thousands of people for a week. This is the time to really roll out the manners. If for example, there’s a line at the elevator, take the stairs. When in your cabin, keep your voice down. The walls are thin and your neighbors can hear you! If you are a slow walker, move to the side of the narrow hallway to let others pass by—especially if it’s a rocky night at sea!
Follow the dress code
Check the dress code so you don’t make fashion faux pas. Refer to your ship’s daily program for appropriate attire for the evening’s activities. Many cruise ships have formal nights and on other nights, after 6 pm, many of the ships have specific recommendations on appropriate attire for the evening.
Example: jeans or cutoff shorts are not likely to be appropriate attire in the main dining rooms in the evening. The dress code information for each cruise line is typically available on their website so it’s best to check before you pack so you’re not stuck for something to wear!
Don’t overindulge
Most food, and sometimes alcohol, is already paid for and so it can be easy to overindulge, especially since you’re in vacation mode! Remember that too much food or alcohol can enhance the effects of rocky seas and it would be no fun at all to spend your vacation recovering in your cabin. Additionally, the floors on the ship can become slippery and you wouldn’t want to risk a fall.
Don’t be a seat saver
Saving the lounge chairs by the pool is a no-no in cruise culture, and yet I see it happening every time I take a cruise. Just because you’re the early bird, doesn’t mean it’s polite to pile your towels and sunscreen on a chair and then skedaddle to breakfast. If you’re not using the chair, be polite and leave it available for others.
Keep and eye on your children
If you’re on a family cruise vacation, remember that it’s not going to be a vacation from parenting. Most cruise lines have wonderful children’s programs that allow the parents a few hours of fun in the sun while the kids are safe at play. When not under the supervision of the cruise crew, be sure to keep an eye on your kids so that they are safe. Not only is it unsafe for them to have full reign of the ship, it can disrupt the enjoyment of the other passengers on ship.
Wait your turn
Disembarking the ship when you are at a port of call can be downright frustrating. Everyone wants to get in as much time as they can during the short time ashore. Be patient. It’s all part of the journey, so you may as well just breathe and enjoy it.
Arrive on time
Speaking of disembarking, if you leave the ship when it’s at a port of call, be wary of the time. The ship WILL leave port on time. You don’t want to be that couple that are running down the boardwalk as the ship is pulling away from the dock.
Know what to tip
All ships have their own policies, so be sure you review these before you leave the house. A good rule of thumb is to tip each person who has helped you on the ship – and it’s per person, not per cabin
And don’t forget the three “C’s at sea: Let consideration, courtesy and civility guide you on your journey!
Safe travels!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged cruise ship etiquette, travel etiquette
November 15, 2013
Every time you go to a social event, think of it as a networking experience. Right Management reports that 46 percent of respondents found jobs in 2012 through networking. That’s more than Internet job boards, agencies/recruiters and newspaper classifieds combined. You don’t need to carry a resume and portfolio with you everywhere you go, however—a simple business card will do. What you put on that business card will help you get from the introduction to the next step: the interview.
White Space on Business Cards
Leave enough white space on your card so recipients can make notes about you, or so you can make notes to help them remember you. In the same vein, choose a paper stock that’s easy to write on—a highly glossy stock isn’t very friendly to pens or ink.
Your Contact Information
Aside from the obvious name, phone and email address, consider what else you want people to know. If you have well-built LinkedIn, Google Plus and Twitter profiles, include those, but leave off personal Facebook and Twitter accounts that you use to connect with your friends.
If it applies, include a link to a website or blog where you’ve posted your resume and a portfolio of your work. Make sure your site features a professional photo of you, which will help your contacts remember you.
Vanity Calling Cards
Business cards with your photo are overkill. Don’t do this unless you are in the performing arts. When your contacts visit your LinkedIn or other social pages, they’ll see your image.
QR Codes
Marketingland.com agrees: QR codes are a thing of the past. These are quick-response codes that smartphones scan and take users to websites, email addresses or any URL you connect it to. Think about it—when was the last time you scanned one? Use this space for valuable information.
Tag Lines
Just like a business uses a tagline to give the reader more information about what it does, create one to describe and remind contacts who you are and what you do: journalist, financial analyst, accountant, software engineer. Whatever your career’s keywords are, work those in this area.
Design Tips
Keep it simple, unless you are a graphic designer and want to show off your skills (and even then, use a light hand). If you use both sides of the cards, do so sparingly. Leave the back side as open as possible for that white space mentioned in the first tip. This would be a good place for your tagline.
Stay away from script fonts and use colors and fonts that are easy to read. Find an online printing service that makes it easy to design your own card and turns them around quickly. Save the money you’d pay a designer and put it toward your interview suit.
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged business etiquette
October 24, 2013
As rainy days become more prevalent this time of year, I thought this might be a good time to give everyone a few umbrella etiquette tips.
One of the most important things to remember when using an umbrella is that carrying one on a rainy day expands your personal space. Knowing this, follow these tips:
- Save your oversized umbrellas for the golf course and choose an average-sized umbrella instead.
- When passing someone on the sidewalk, adjust your umbrella for height. Using the “duck n’ lift” approach: taller person raises, shorter person takes the low road.
- Always be aware of those around you while using an umbrella so you don’t inadvertently poke the tall man who is walking behind you. And on that note—get rid of any umbrella that has exposed spokes.
Hold on tight
If the wind is blowing, hold on tight to your umbrella. Not only do you want to save it from blowing away, you also want to be sure you don’t injure the person walking next to you.
Keep your head up!
This seems very obvious (to me, anyway), but make sure you’re paying attention to where you’re walking while carrying an umbrella. If you’re busy texting, tweeting or emailing on your smartphone, you’re not paying attention to your surroundings. And as they say “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye!” Save your messages until you’re safely at your destination.
Awnings are off limits
If you have an umbrella with you on a rainy day, be courteous. Walk outside the awnings, or on the other side of the street, to make sure there’s room for those without umbrellas can stay a little bit dryer.
Shake it Off
When going into a dry area, such as a restaurant or lobby, tap your umbrella against the ground or on the edge of the building to shake off the rain before taking it inside. Be mindful not to splatter the people walking by.
Store carefully
If you’re taking your umbrella on the bus or the train, consider bringing along a plastic bag to store your closed, wet umbrella in. Barring that, store it on the floor, not on the seat next to you.
When entering a building, leave your closed umbrella close to the door if possible. Many restaurants have umbrella stands for guests.
No swinging allowed
If you’ve brought along a “just in case it rains today” umbrella and you’re walking with it, hold the closed umbrella vertical, not tucked under your arm. And refrain from swinging it around or side to side as you walk (yes, I’ve seen grown adults ‘playing’ with their umbrellas while they walk!). A closed umbrella is traditionally held like a walking cane.
When the skies open up, don’t be THAT guy! Use common sense and be an aware umbrella user.
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged umbrella etiquette
October 15, 2013
With the holiday season fast approaching, we thought this was the perfect time to share some tips on how to address your holiday cards – to ensure they arrive safe and sound!
Canadian Addresses
When addressing an envelope for a Canadian address, here are some tips from Canada Post:
- Put information, such as title, floor, etc. above the street address
- Put a hyphen between unit / suite / apartment number and the street number
- The city, province and Postal Code go on one line
- Put two spaces between the Postal Code and the province
MARY SMITH
SALES DEPARTMEN
11-345 FIRST ST NE
VANCOUVER BC N3Z 2T6
American Addresses
When addressing a card to be sent to an address in the United States, keep these tips in mind:
- City names must be spelled out in full
- Put just one space between city and state, but two spaces between the zip code and the state
- Use the two-character state abbreviation (rather than writing it out in full)
- ZIP Codes are either five or nine digits. If it’s a nine-digit ZIP Code, put a hyphen between the fifth and sixth numbers.
JANET GREEN
243 HIGHLAND AVE
NEWTOWN GA 12345-6789
USA
International Addressing Tips
The full address, including full country name must be included when sending mail internationally. The country name appears on its own line after ZIP or Postal Code, is written in full and in capital letters.
Example: UNITED KINGDOM, not UK.
Return Addresses
Return addresses are formatted the exact same way as the destination address. Place the return address in the top left corner of the envelope or parcel, or on the back of the item at the very top.
When addressing your holiday cards, keep this one simple thing in mind: Make sure the destination address is clear. If you’re printing address labels, stay away from fancy fonts. Choose at least a 10-point type, but keep it simple. Use white labels, with black ink.
And as a last reminder: One of the most common mistakes people make when addressing a card to a family is the use of apostrophes. When addressing an envelope, the proper way to write the family name is in plural format.
Example:
The Morrison’s (incorrect)
The Morrisons (correct
Get ready – the holidays are coming up quick!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette
October 14, 2013
Have you ever received an email and it was unclear which name was the first name and which was the last? Many cultures don’t follow the Western convention of given name followed by family name.
I have been working with a colleague of mine from Toastmasters who is from Singapore, and he’s been giving me some guidance on the use of surnames versus given names in communication.
Chinese, Korean, Japanese and Vietnamese names are presented in reverse from Western names. The surname, or family name, is always said or written first and then the given name. When written, such as in the signature of a letter or email communication, the surname is often entirely capitalized to make it easier for people to distinguish it from the first name. As an example, my colleague’s full name is CHUNG Li– Chung is the surname and Li is his given name.
However, it’s important to note that those who returned from overseas, especially from the U.S., have adopted to the Western format – first name followed by last name. This can definitely be a source of confusion in Asia, with the fusion of different cultures.
It’s also interesting to learn that in Chinese, the professional, social and family titles follow the family name in written communication, such as with the example: Chung Jingli (Manager Chung). When speaking to, or about a Chinese person in English, the title is said before the family name. For example, Chung Xiansheng (Mr. Chung).
In China, it’s inappropriate to call someone by only his or her last name. Chinese generally introduce guests using their full title and company names. You should do the same: Example: Mr. Louis smith, CEO of Canadian Press Association.
Chinese women use their maiden names, even after marriage, but may indicate their marital status by using Mrs., Ms., Miss, or Madam. However, children take on the surname of their father.
Important to note, as my colleague pointed out, “There are many non-conformists, so it’s rather difficult to generalize when you are in Asia. It’s best to ask if you are unsure, so you don’t get it totally wrong!”
Today, more than ever, we have great opportunities to build business relationships with people around the world. Don’t let a slip up, like addressing someone incorrectly, set an uneasy tone for your relationship. Take the time to learn about the Asian culture and customs—the payoff for both of you will be well worth it! As they say, imitation is the highest form of flattery.
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Posted by Margaret in Communication
October 3, 2013
What we say, verbally, is only a small part of how we communicate with others. The most influential part of communication involves the things we don’t say out loud. It’s what people see that has the greatest impact on how we are perceived.
The nonverbal signals we “put out” conveys our message more powerfully than words. And whether we are conscious of it or not, we send out signals that don’t always match up what we’re trying to communicate—or how we want others to perceive us.
Whether we admit it or not, we make sweeping judgements about people based on their body language. Think about the last time you met someone at a networking event. Did that person maintain good eye contact with you, or was he or she fidgeting and scanning the room? If you’re talking with someone who appears to be disengaged, it doesn’t really matter how good the topic of conversation is, you’ve already formed an opinion of him or her based on their body language—and it’s not likely someone you’ll seek out again.
Our body sends cues to the person we’re talking to that has little to do with what’s being said. It says, “I’m bored and uninterested,” or “I’m excited to meet you!”
No matter what words we use, the body doesn’t lie.
Powerful Gestures
Our body language dictates the way people see us but it can also shape our own beliefs on who we are.
Research from Harvard and Columbia Business Schools shows that by holding your body in an expansive “power pose”—leaning back with hands behind the head and feet on a desk, or standing with legs and arms stretched open—will help you feel more confident. Striking these “high-power” poses, for as little as two minutes stimulates higher levels of testosterone—the hormone linked to power—and lowers the levels of cortisol, a stress hormone.
Be conscious of how you’re standing. It’s the first giveaway on whether you are a person of power or not. When you stand straight, with your shoulders back and your head up, you are conveying the message that you are confident and at ease in the situation.
Low-Power Gestures
If we’re uncomfortable in a situation, we tend to make ourselves smaller—we close up. We slouch, keep our feet pointed away from us, have our arms crossed and avoid eye contact. Although we may not realize it, these signals give the impression that we’re unapproachable, defensive and uninterested.
It’s important to note that that the stories we tell ourselves before entering into a situation can have a huge impact on the way our body responds. If you tell yourself that you can’t do it, your body language will communicate that.
What are you saying with your body language? One way to find out is to take a look for yourself. Have someone videotape you engaged in a conversation, and then take a look at the way you are communicating – nonverbally, that is. Ask yourself how you would view someone who looks, talks and acts like you do.
Adjust as needed.
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged body language, communication, nonverbal, power gestures
September 24, 2013
Today, I am thrilled to share an article written by Gobinder Gill.
The grade two teacher poses a simple problem, ‘’there are four blackbirds in a tree. You take a slingshot and shoot at one of them and how many do you have left? ‘’Three’’ answers the seven- year-old European boy with certainty. ‘’Zero’’ answers the South Asian boy with equal certainty. ‘’If you shoot at one bird then others will also fly away.’’
The problem, as it turns out, is not that simple. In some ways it gets to the very heart of Canada’s increasing cultural diversity, and the cultural need if we are to compete in the global marketplace and even at home. Furthermore it is critical to recognize this diversity, understand it, value it and finally manage it.
Managing this lucrative market at home and abroad is not easy. In major cities such as Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal, many businesses have finally woken up to the concept that ethnic markets cannot be ignored. It is predicted that by 2031, the visible minorities will make up 33 percent of Canada’s population. However, in Vancouver the visible minorities will be 59 percent of the population and in Toronto it will be 62 percent of the population.
I can still recall the days during radio advertising in the late 80’s when businesses were reluctant to target any of the ethnic groups, even the Chinese or South Asian. Often the answer was something like this: perhaps you can air the commercial spots for free and then we will see what happens. Try saying that now!
When it comes to advertising, what works in the mainstream does not necessarily work in the ethnic market. A campaign needs to be specifically targeted to each group individually whether that is the South Asian community or the Chinese.
Even huge corporations have made blunders that cost them dearly in the pocket book. In the 80’s McDonalds conducted a huge campaign selling pork burgers: portraying a Muslim Man dressed in white eating a pork burger. This ad was pulled off quickly because Muslims do not eat pork. In another example, was when General Motors spent million on marketing its Nova in South America. Nova in English means new star, however, in Spanish, Nova means no go. Apparently GM did not sell many Novas in South America.
As Canada’s population becomes much more culturally diverse, it is important for organizations to do research when targeting the various ethnic communities. One size does not fit all.
About the Author:
Gobinder Gill has a profound perspective on Canadian diversity that can only come from first-hand experience. Overcoming a disadvantaged childhood and racial prejudice, he built a distinguished career in the broadcasting industry. Today Gobinder Gill has an impressive resume of experience in the mainstream as well as ethnic media, including radio, TV, film and print.
He has provided cultural awareness training for companies and organizations. In addition, has written a book on cultural diversity in the workplace called Achieving Prosperity through Diversity and is available for public speaking engagements, seminars and workshops.
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Posted by Margaret in Communication and tagged diversity
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~ Dalai Lama
