Latest "Everyday Etiquette" Posts
February 4, 2014
I was really surprised to hear that there is talk of lifting the ban on cell phone use on planes. Allowing the use of text messaging on planes is one thing, but how would you stop people from invading your personal space with their cell phone conversations if they lifted the ban?
Imagine how distracting it will be to have hundreds of passengers talking on their phones while squeezed into a plane filled with people!
We are a society that are addicted to being connected. That’s for certain. And because of this, one of the perks of air travel is the forced break from making, receiving and hearing phone calls. But that may soon change. Under a new proposal by the U.S. Federal Communication Commission, passengers would be allowed to use their cell phone to make calls and send text messages once the plan reaches 10,000 feet.
With the limited personal space allowed us on planes these days, I just don’t see how this could work. Many travelers use the “airtime” to catch up on reading, enjoy the quiet, and even take a nap. And how can you do that when someone is invading your personal space with a phone conversation?
In a recent CNN article, Spud Hilton, travel editor for the San Francisco Chronicle spoke out against lifting the ban. “People would be carryon on loud, full voiced conversations right next to someone who doesn’t want to hear it.”
And I agree with him. We shouldn’t have to listen to another person’s private conversation when squeezed into such close quarters!
Even if they had a section of the plane where you could be “connected” – sound travels. Take AirAsia as an example. Last year they introduced a “quiet zone.” An adult-only section located between first class and economy, the intention was to provide a respite from the noise of those unhappy tiny passengers. But like cigarette smoke, the sound of a crying baby travels across the invisible barrier. And the same would be true of a cell phone section of the plane, should this be a consideration. It just wouldn’t work.
In our everyday lives, we’re already being hijacked by loud cell phone talkers – at the grocery store, restaurants, and doctor’s offices – and without the ability to separate from the noise, it would be very annoying.
It is TRULY a hijacking on an airplane!
I’m definitely not alone in my feelings about the use of cell phones on places. A recent poll from Quinnipiac University found that most people want silence when they fly. Almost 60% of those polled said they don’t want the use of cell phones on planes and only 30% said they were in favor of lifting the ban.
It’s also important to note that even if the U.S. Federal Communications Commissions is ready to allow in-flight cell phone use, some airlines might not be so eager to change the rules. Delta Air Lines has stated that voice calls will not be allowed on flights, even if the FCC allows it. Other airlines are saying that they will “study it along with feedback from customers.”
In the end it comes down to respecting a person’s personal space. The people who don’t – the loud talkers you encounter – are the very people who will spend the entire flight on their phone, without regard for the person seated next to them.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Do you think it’s a good idea to allow passengers to talk on their cell phone during a flight? Take our quick poll!
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette
January 16, 2014
On a recent trip from Vancouver to Amsterdam, I encountered Passenger 22C – better known to me now as Mr. Rude. The wheels of the plane had literally just tucked themselves back in when Mr. Rude, who was sitting directly in front of me, flung his seat fully back and began to bounce around—bashing my knees several times with each bounce. This continued for a while as he flipped and flopped, trying to find a comfortable position in the tiny seat.
There was a point when he turned around and looked at me and I thought “Oh, good, he’s just figured out he’s bashing my knees with his seat!” But, no. Instead, he asked me why his seat couldn’t go back any further! “Because my legs are there,” I told him, assuming this would trigger an apology or at the very least, encourage him to pull the seat up a little.
Again, I was wrong.
Passenger 22C proceeded to push farther back on his seat, determined to make it recline farther, as though he were in a reclining chair in his living room! I leaned toward him and said “You’re hitting my knees again.” He didn’t even acknowledge me – or apologize!
Mid-flight, 22C returned from a bathroom break and as he stood in the aisle, I leaned over and asked him (very politely!) if he could please put his seat upright when he was not occupying it.
“Oh, I forgot,” was all he managed to mumble, as he jumped back into his seat. I wish I had a timer to track how long he sat quietly in his seat. I can say, it was no more than five minutes before he was pushing back on his seat again.
Passenger 22C left his seat reclined for the entire eight-hour flight—bouncing and pushing back against my knees. I was seated in an aisle seat, so my fellow seatmates struggled to get in and out of our row for bathroom breaks. With Passenger 22C’s seat tilted all the way back, there was little room for any maneuvering!
During the long, uncomfortable flight, I didn’t know if I was more upset with Passenger 22C or with myself. Should I have had a word with the flight attendant? Let her know that Passenger 22C’s seat was disrupting my comfort? Could I have been clearer with Passenger 22C – made my case in a way that made him rethink how much his reclined seat was hurting me. Literally. Bashing my legs!
My mind shifted to “karma.” Maybe somewhere, somehow, he would have his comeuppance for the discomfort and lack of sensitivity he had shown me for eight long hours.
Reclining seats have been with us as long as airlines began making human passengers a priority. The reclining seats—along with footrests and in-seat ashtrays – were designed as part of the airlines’ commitment to deluxe accommodations. It was all part of the experience. Back then passengers dressed in three-piece suits and sipped martinis in flight–stretching their long legs one way and tilting their seats the other. Back then, there was ample room to stretch out.
Times have changed.
The right to recline one’s seat is a topic of debate. If the seat goes back, use it, people say. But courtesy has to always come first. Before we lean our seat back, perhaps we can warn the person behind us—or even ask that person if it’s okay. Respect your fellow passengers so that everyone aboard can sit back and enjoy the journey.
What are your airplane etiquette pet peeves? Share with us in the comments below!
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged airplane etiquette
January 2, 2014
Yesterday, before a grueling dental appointment I stopped for a bite to eat at Whole Foods. When I discovered all the tables were occupied I headed for the long counter–somewhere I would not normally sit for lunch. As it was a high counter it took me a few minutes to position everything. My handbag–not appropriate to be on the counter…think of the germs –not good Feng Shui to set it on the floor, so the only spot left was hanging from my bent knee. Grocery bag on the floor, food in front of me, knife and fork ready, napkin on my lap…I was settled in for a nice lunch.
It would be hours before I could eat anything as my mouth would be numb from my dental work, so I was going to enjoy it!
Just as I began enjoying my meal a woman stood behind the counter two seats away from me. She plopped her food down and slid into the chair, talking on her phone the whole time. I wondered if she had gone through the check out line like that—with phone propped to her ear, chatting away. OMG!
Over the next five minutes, myself—and all the others around me—were privy to this beautiful young woman’s (who I now refer to as the pirate) personal conversation about a real estate deal. Whether we liked it or not, we were “in on the deal.” It was too much. There came a point when I couldn’t take it any longer. I was tired of being hijacked and was about to say “no more” and when I looked up, the woman on the other side of the pirate looked up at the same time. Our eyes met for a moment, and no it wasn’t love at first sight, but it was an instant knowing that all of us seated (or standing) near the pirate was being disrespected. “Seriously!” the woman exclaimed as she picked up her lunch and moved to a seat to the left of me, farther away from the pirate.
The woman, whose name I learned was Amelia, and I began a conversation about how disrespectful some people are. Amelia said she felt that some people had no community hygiene–or awareness of spacial hygiene. I quickly agreed. What an interesting way to phrase it.
Eventually the pirate ended her call and Amelia went over and shared her insights. “Did you know when you were on the phone you were speaking so loudly it disrupted our lunch?” she said to the woman. Amelia s tone of voice was non-threatening and she smiled as she spoke to the woman. The pirate was a clearly a little embarrassed and offered an apology. She then slumped over her plate and began eating her lunch as if it that, along with the awareness of her loud-talking disruption, was also hard to swallow.
Amelia gracefully and graciously did what I’m sure many of our readers would like to do- and that is to tell a person know when they have violated our space with their verbal chatter. An act that says (loud and clear) that: “What I am doing, or who I am, is more important than you.”
Here are three things we can learn from Amelia and the way she addressed the space pirate:
- When confronting your pirate about their loud talking, posing your comment as a question allows him or her to save some face — after all we do have manners. The question gives that person a reason to pause and think about his or her action, rather than just be TOLD that they were being disrespectful.
- The tone of your voice is critical in preventing a potential drama.
- Smiling helps the person understand you are informing them rather than ridiculing them or challenging them.
Try it out next time you encounter a space pirate and let me know what happens.
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged cell phone etiquette
December 19, 2013
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~ Dalai Lama
With the New Year just around the corner, I thought this would be a great time to share 12 ways you can boost your happiness in 2014–both for yourself and for others.
- Compliment others. Make a point of giving one compliment a day to someone. You’ll be amazed at how wonderful that feels (for both of you!)
- Surprise someone. Cook up a batch of cookies and drop them off at your local post office. At this time of year, postal workers are overloaded and will welcome the sweet (and thoughtful) treat.
- Go outside! A study from The University of Sussex found that being outdoors made people happier. And if you really want to get the most out of the weather, keep an eye on the temperature. According research from The American Meteorological Society, happiness is maximized at 13.9 degrees celcius.
- Get some sleep. Studies have found that having a more positive outlook on life is directly linked to improved sleep quality—so be sure to get enough ZZZZs!
- Practice gratitude. Keep a gratitude journal and write down at least three things you are grateful for every day. Or skip the pen and paper and use a gratitude app. I use Gratitude 365 and I love it!
- Take care of your body. There is a ton of research out there to prove the claim that exercise is tied to happiness. That release of endorphins during physical activity does the trick!
- Pay it forward. At a drive-thru coffee shop pay for the order of the next person in line.
- Stay in touch. Make time for family and friends. Sure, we’re all busy, but some of the top five regrets people have when look back at their life is that they wish they had worked less and stayed in touch with friends. Coincidentally, on that list is this: “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”
- Volunteer. Selflessly helping others is a great way to feel good inside—literally! Performing acts of kindness releases serotonin in your brain – which makes us feel more blissful.
- Smile! It’s really difficult to be unhappy when you’re smiling – plus it’s contagious.
- Be in the moment. Make time in the day to stop and breathe. There’s even an app to get you started.
- Recognize! Whether for personal or for business, create a monthly routine where you send out a positive message to a friend weekly or a small gift to one business advocate each month. In your message be specific about why you appreciate their support.
I stumbled across this quote by author Dan Millman recently and thought I think it does a great job of uncovering some of the mystery people have about how to be happy. The fact that happiness doesn’t “find you,” – it’s something you create for yourself through your own actions.
“I’d always believed that a life of quality, enjoyment, and wisdom were my human birthright and would be automatically bestowed upon me as time passed. I never suspected that I would have to learn how to live – there were specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world I had to master before I could awaken to a simple, happy, uncomplicated life.”
Wishing you a very HAPPY and prosperous New Year!
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged new year, happiness
December 11, 2013
When invited to a party, your first thought (after “what shall I wear”) is probably, “What should I bring?”
Remember it really is the thought that counts. The gift doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate, if you want to make an impression, give it some thought. Be creative!
Here are a few gift ideas and tips that might help get you started:
- Give them a gift that they can use at their next party. Things like cocktail napkins, wine charms, or a party game will come in handy the next time they invite people over.
- Put the dry ingredients for your favorite savory soup into a mason jar. Add a festive ribbon at the top (and be sure to include recipe!)
- There are some great coffee mugs nowadays. Pick up some hot chocolate and arrange in a pretty mug. Add a chocolate spoon and a ribbon and you’re set!
- A spin on the hot chocolate: In a large mug, put a couple packets of hot apple cider mix, wrap it up in a festive cloth napkin and tie two cinnamon sticks to it.
- Measuring spoons, on their own, are not festive, but they do tend to be the first kitchen utensil to disappear. I once received this gift and it was very clever: Put some dry spices in a tea towel and tie it up with measuring spoons. Voila!
- A cheese board, with an assortment of gourmet cheeses, makes a very useful (and yummy) gift.
- Put together a plate of homemade cookies wrapped in colorful cellophane, with the cookie recipe attached with a pretty ribbon.
- A homemade quick bread makes a very thoughtful gift.
- Pick up a bag of specialty teas and wrap it up with this a unique tea canister. I found this one online and it’s just beautiful (and inexpensive!)
- Make your own fruit infused vinegar and decant in a pretty bottle. Go here for the recipe.
One of the best ways to ensure you are ready for a last minute party invite is to pick up small items throughout the year.
Do you have ideas you’d like to share? Add them in the comments below!
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged hostess gift etiquette
November 21, 2013
It’s a great time of year to take to the open seas! When you embark on a cruise vacation, don’t forget to pack your manners!
Before you step on board, here are a few cruise etiquette tips to help you — and your fellow shipmates– avoid rocky seas.
Be courteous
You are on a floating hotel, with thousands of people for a week. This is the time to really roll out the manners. If for example, there’s a line at the elevator, take the stairs. When in your cabin, keep your voice down. The walls are thin and your neighbors can hear you! If you are a slow walker, move to the side of the narrow hallway to let others pass by—especially if it’s a rocky night at sea!
Follow the dress code
Check the dress code so you don’t make fashion faux pas. Refer to your ship’s daily program for appropriate attire for the evening’s activities. Many cruise ships have formal nights and on other nights, after 6 pm, many of the ships have specific recommendations on appropriate attire for the evening.
Example: jeans or cutoff shorts are not likely to be appropriate attire in the main dining rooms in the evening. The dress code information for each cruise line is typically available on their website so it’s best to check before you pack so you’re not stuck for something to wear!
Don’t overindulge
Most food, and sometimes alcohol, is already paid for and so it can be easy to overindulge, especially since you’re in vacation mode! Remember that too much food or alcohol can enhance the effects of rocky seas and it would be no fun at all to spend your vacation recovering in your cabin. Additionally, the floors on the ship can become slippery and you wouldn’t want to risk a fall.
Don’t be a seat saver
Saving the lounge chairs by the pool is a no-no in cruise culture, and yet I see it happening every time I take a cruise. Just because you’re the early bird, doesn’t mean it’s polite to pile your towels and sunscreen on a chair and then skedaddle to breakfast. If you’re not using the chair, be polite and leave it available for others.
Keep and eye on your children
If you’re on a family cruise vacation, remember that it’s not going to be a vacation from parenting. Most cruise lines have wonderful children’s programs that allow the parents a few hours of fun in the sun while the kids are safe at play. When not under the supervision of the cruise crew, be sure to keep an eye on your kids so that they are safe. Not only is it unsafe for them to have full reign of the ship, it can disrupt the enjoyment of the other passengers on ship.
Wait your turn
Disembarking the ship when you are at a port of call can be downright frustrating. Everyone wants to get in as much time as they can during the short time ashore. Be patient. It’s all part of the journey, so you may as well just breathe and enjoy it.
Arrive on time
Speaking of disembarking, if you leave the ship when it’s at a port of call, be wary of the time. The ship WILL leave port on time. You don’t want to be that couple that are running down the boardwalk as the ship is pulling away from the dock.
Know what to tip
All ships have their own policies, so be sure you review these before you leave the house. A good rule of thumb is to tip each person who has helped you on the ship – and it’s per person, not per cabin
And don’t forget the three “C’s at sea: Let consideration, courtesy and civility guide you on your journey!
Safe travels!
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged cruise ship etiquette, travel etiquette
October 24, 2013
As rainy days become more prevalent this time of year, I thought this might be a good time to give everyone a few umbrella etiquette tips.
One of the most important things to remember when using an umbrella is that carrying one on a rainy day expands your personal space. Knowing this, follow these tips:
- Save your oversized umbrellas for the golf course and choose an average-sized umbrella instead.
- When passing someone on the sidewalk, adjust your umbrella for height. Using the “duck n’ lift” approach: taller person raises, shorter person takes the low road.
- Always be aware of those around you while using an umbrella so you don’t inadvertently poke the tall man who is walking behind you. And on that note—get rid of any umbrella that has exposed spokes.
Hold on tight
If the wind is blowing, hold on tight to your umbrella. Not only do you want to save it from blowing away, you also want to be sure you don’t injure the person walking next to you.
Keep your head up!
This seems very obvious (to me, anyway), but make sure you’re paying attention to where you’re walking while carrying an umbrella. If you’re busy texting, tweeting or emailing on your smartphone, you’re not paying attention to your surroundings. And as they say “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye!” Save your messages until you’re safely at your destination.
Awnings are off limits
If you have an umbrella with you on a rainy day, be courteous. Walk outside the awnings, or on the other side of the street, to make sure there’s room for those without umbrellas can stay a little bit dryer.
Shake it Off
When going into a dry area, such as a restaurant or lobby, tap your umbrella against the ground or on the edge of the building to shake off the rain before taking it inside. Be mindful not to splatter the people walking by.
Store carefully
If you’re taking your umbrella on the bus or the train, consider bringing along a plastic bag to store your closed, wet umbrella in. Barring that, store it on the floor, not on the seat next to you.
When entering a building, leave your closed umbrella close to the door if possible. Many restaurants have umbrella stands for guests.
No swinging allowed
If you’ve brought along a “just in case it rains today” umbrella and you’re walking with it, hold the closed umbrella vertical, not tucked under your arm. And refrain from swinging it around or side to side as you walk (yes, I’ve seen grown adults ‘playing’ with their umbrellas while they walk!). A closed umbrella is traditionally held like a walking cane.
When the skies open up, don’t be THAT guy! Use common sense and be an aware umbrella user.
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged umbrella etiquette
October 15, 2013
With the holiday season fast approaching, we thought this was the perfect time to share some tips on how to address your holiday cards – to ensure they arrive safe and sound!
Canadian Addresses
When addressing an envelope for a Canadian address, here are some tips from Canada Post:
- Put information, such as title, floor, etc. above the street address
- Put a hyphen between unit / suite / apartment number and the street number
- The city, province and Postal Code go on one line
- Put two spaces between the Postal Code and the province
MARY SMITH
SALES DEPARTMEN
11-345 FIRST ST NE
VANCOUVER BC N3Z 2T6
American Addresses
When addressing a card to be sent to an address in the United States, keep these tips in mind:
- City names must be spelled out in full
- Put just one space between city and state, but two spaces between the zip code and the state
- Use the two-character state abbreviation (rather than writing it out in full)
- ZIP Codes are either five or nine digits. If it’s a nine-digit ZIP Code, put a hyphen between the fifth and sixth numbers.
JANET GREEN
243 HIGHLAND AVE
NEWTOWN GA 12345-6789
USA
International Addressing Tips
The full address, including full country name must be included when sending mail internationally. The country name appears on its own line after ZIP or Postal Code, is written in full and in capital letters.
Example: UNITED KINGDOM, not UK.
Return Addresses
Return addresses are formatted the exact same way as the destination address. Place the return address in the top left corner of the envelope or parcel, or on the back of the item at the very top.
When addressing your holiday cards, keep this one simple thing in mind: Make sure the destination address is clear. If you’re printing address labels, stay away from fancy fonts. Choose at least a 10-point type, but keep it simple. Use white labels, with black ink.
And as a last reminder: One of the most common mistakes people make when addressing a card to a family is the use of apostrophes. When addressing an envelope, the proper way to write the family name is in plural format.
Example:
The Morrison’s (incorrect)
The Morrisons (correct
Get ready – the holidays are coming up quick!
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette
September 23, 2013
We receive this etiquette question often, so we thought we would reach out to our readers to get your feedback. Both men and women alike are asking “Should men open the car door for a woman?”
We’re reaching out to you, our readers to get your feedback on the topic! Take a few moments – both men and women, alike – and take our quick poll. Feel free to add your comments here on the blog and let’s see where this conversation takes us!
Thanks for your help! (Be sure to share with your friends!)
For the Gentlemen
Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world’s leading questionnaire tool.
For the Ladies
Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world’s leading questionnaire tool.
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette
June 14, 2013
Happy Flag Day! Today, Friday, June 14, Flag Day is celebrated in the United States. Flag Day commemorates the adoption of the American flag June 14, 1777. Though not an official holiday, celebrating the day when the Continental Congress adopted the Stars and Stripes has been a long and honored tradition for most U.S. citizens. Parades and parties are planned, and across the country you’ll see the American flag displayed proudly outside of homes and businesses.
With the day fast approaching, I thought this might be a good time to take a look at the rules for respectfully displaying the American flag. The Flag Code—the official rules for displaying the flag–covers all kinds of specific situations, but are governed by one basic principle: the flag is one of the most visible and important symbols of the country and should be treated with respect.
Some general flag etiquette guidelines include:
- When displaying the flag outdoors, it should be suspended vertically, with the union to the north in an east and west street or to the east in a north and south street.
- The flag, when carried in a procession with another flag or flags, should be either on the marching right, or, if there is a line of other flags, in front of the center of that line.
- The flag should not be draped over the hood, top, sides, or back of a car. If flag is displayed on a car, it is to be firmly attached to the chassis.
- No part of the flag should touch the ground. When lowered from a staff, it must be held and then neatly folded and stored.
- The flag code allows for flying the flag upside down only “as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property.”
Wondering how to properly fold a flag? Here’s a great visual that walks you through the steps.
Happy Flag Day to all of my American friends!
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged flag day
