Posts tagged "thank you"
April 11, 2018
Women, tell me if you’re familiar with this scenario: You tell a colleague that her work on a presentation was stellar — clear, concise, funny, thoughtful. You walked away with amazing insights and tell her you appreciate her hard work.
And then she brushes it off.
“Oh, it wasn’t that good,” she says.
Or, “I had a lot of help.”
Or maybe even: “I could have done better if I had done more to prepare.”
Sound familiar? You might be cringing right now because you’ve been that woman throwing away a compliment as if it were a hot potato. Can you imagine a man doing such a thing? Why is it that we have such a difficult time just saying, “Thank you! I worked hard.” Or, even better, taking that compliment to heart and really savouring it?
The urge to throw away compliments is real. According to a study by Robert Herbert, a sociolinguist, compliments given from one man to another were accepted 40 percent of the time. Yet women accept only a dismal 22 percent of compliments from other women. (Interestingly, woman accept compliments 68 percent of the time when given by men.)
What makes us throw up our compliment armor? There are several reasons why.
- We don’t want to stand out. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true: Women who stand out from the crowd can be perceived as overly ambitious or social climbers. Rejecting a compliment keeps you on a level playing field.
- We don’t want to seem stuck up. Accepting a compliment can make it seem like you’re acknowledging something good about yourself — and in a woman’s world, even the simple act of saying “thank you” can be perceived as self-aggrandizement.
- We think we’re being tricked. Laura Brannon of Kansas State University says that if we think the complimenter wants something out of us, we’re less likely to believe the compliment.
So what would the world look like if women started accepting more compliments? Personally, I think more women would be empowered in their day-to-day lives and more courageous in business. When someone gives me a compliment, I take it. If you want to take the time to tell me something nice, I want to take the time to enjoy it. And it shows respect to the compliment giver!
Here are my three tips for accepting any compliment:
- Don’t deflect. Accept the compliment. Say thank you. Not “thank you, but …” Just “thank you.” There’s no need to deflect well-earned praise.
- Don’t insult yourself. Not only does insulting yourself lower your self-esteem, it puts the complimenter in the uncomfortable situation of not only offering you a compliment but also acting as your psychotherapist. Take your praise!
- Avoid a compliment battle. There’s no need to one-up your compliment with another compliment. Not only can the situation turn awkward fast, but you don’t want your compliment to come across as insincere. Save your compliments for when you can be thoughtful and authentic.
What are you going to do the next time someone gives you a compliment? Tell me in the comments below! If you’d like tips on how to give praise, check out this blog post on how to craft the perfect compliment.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Uncategorized, Communication, Etiquette Edge and tagged Class and Communication Skills with Etiquette Products, grace, appreciation, gratitude, manners, thank you, good manners, compliments, Gain Confidence, etiquette tips
July 8, 2014
In a world where we are communicating more and more through email, text and social media, the value of a physical thank you note is being lost. Yes, it is amazing how easy it is to stay in touch nowadays – a quick text to see how someone’s day is going– but with something as important as a thank you note, I still believe sending a physical card is far more valuable.
After all, you can’t display an email on your desk or hang a text on your bulletin board!
Physical cards still have a longer shelf life—and greater impact. Because we get so many emails and text messages throughout the day, it’s such a thrill to open our mailbox (our REAL mailbox) and find a physical card inside.
But who has time for that, right? We have the best intentions – we really do want to send out more cards, but time gets away from us and it becomes just one more thing to add to our to-do list. Did you know that people intend to send out an average 70 cards a year for various occasions, but in the end only send out 10 because of the inconvenience? Unless you really plan ahead, when you think about sending out a card, you’re scrambling to find a stamp!
Well, that’s why I am such a huge fan of Send Out Cards. I love them.
SendOutCards, founded by CEO Kody Bateman in 2003 – has sent out over 100 million cards since its launch. The online service makes it so easy to send a personalized, printed greeting card to anyone. You choose a custom card, add your own personal photo and message – and then you just click SEND. They take care of all the rest – printing, stuffing, stamping and mailing the physical card for you.
My personal goal is to send out one card each day. And although I think email thank-yous are convenient and necessary, the arrival of a personal card is far more memorable. If you’re trying to stand out from the crowd, separate yourself from your competitors, sending a physical card will help you do that.
If you’re interested in learning more about Send Out cards, send me a note. I’d love to send you a Splash Code that’s worth about 50 free cards!
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Posted by Margaret Page in Communication and tagged gratitude, thank you
February 9, 2011
Has rudeness become a way of life? Are we so busy that we don’t have time to say “please” and “thank you” anymore?
Have we forgotten the simple courtesies that set us apart from the animal kingdom?
Here is a list of simple courtesies (gentle reminders?) that will win you friends and earn you points in the manners department.
Simple Courtesies
- Say please and thank you
- Turn off your cell phone in the movie theatre
- Please, please don’t wear your baseball hat at the dinner table
- Write thank you notes. Handwritten thank you notes.
- A simple wave of acknowledgement when I let you into traffic
- Be on time. Plan ahead so you’re not that person (you know the one) who is ALWAYS late!
Do you have a pet peeve — when it comes to common courtesy? I’d love to get your take on the state of good manners today.
photo: Metro Transportation Library and Archive
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged manners, courtesies, rudeness, thank you
