Are Canadians Too Polite?
May 19, 2016
Is it possible to be overly polite? As Canadians, it’s been said that we are polite – to a fault. Just do a quick search online for Canadians and the word “Sorry” and you’ll see plenty of commentary – and photos–on the subject of our apologetic ways.
I read an article recently where the author recounted this story: A Canadian ex-pat, living in New York, who was rather homesick found herself in a crowded two-room bookstore with high book aisles. From across the room she heard, “Excuse me – I’m sorry – excuse me.” She immediately went into the other room and searched up and down the aisles until she found the person she’d heard, who had been trying to make her way through the aisles. “Are you Canadian?” he asked her. And sure enough, the woman was another Canadian ex-pat. Funny story. Even as Canadians, we think we’re apologetic!
So, yes, there is definitely truth to the “stereotype” that we Canadians are nice. Notoriously, it seems. It’s really hard to know why Canadians go out of their way to be polite. Have our British roots turned us into a nation of self-apologists?
Bruce Grierson’s essay “Polite to a fault: Canadians are world champs. And yes, we actually did invent it,” gives credit to the Canadian sociologist Erving Goffman for inventing politeness.
“Most people think of politeness as ingrained good manners, civilized bearing, the ‘momma-brung-you-up-well’ stuff,” says Goffman. “And true enough, Canadians have that kind of reflexive politeness in spades. I remember once as a younger man in a fast-food outlet catching myself saying, ‘You’re welcome’ to the garbage can, which had ‘Thank You’ stamped on the little swinging window.”
Okay, yes, that’s a little tongue-in-cheek humor on his part, but he goes on to make a very good point with: “Society is organized on the principle that any individual who possesses certain social characteristics has a moral right to expect that others will value and treat him in an appropriate way.” So perhaps Canadians are polite in the hope or belief that others will return the favor.
While this “too polite” stereotype has provided some with a laugh or two, there is something to be said about being considerate of others.
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