Faux Pas Linger!
April 21, 2016
I’m not sure that anyone else in the world remembers one of my biggest faux pas, but I do. Luckily, I’ve used the lesson learned from it to counsel many people on how to avoid their own embarrassing situations.
A decade ago, I was helping at a golf tournament hosted by the Premier at the newly opened Bear Mountain Resort in Victoria, British Columbia. I received a T-shirt and a ball cap from an organization I supported to shield me from the sun. Perfect golf attire, right? I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I dressed early in the morning and noticed my roommate giving my denim capris a sideways glance.
“Blue jeans aren’t permitted on the golf course,” she said. “You best put on something else.”
“But I don’t have anything else!” I protested. “Are you sure that’s a rule? Golf is an outdoor sport. Why no denim?”
“Tradition,” she said. “It sets a better standard.”
I panicked. I had packed no other options, and my chances of finding an alternative to denim were pretty slim at 6:30 a.m. I would have gladly paid double and bought something from the resort’s store, but nothing was available.
Instead, I endured an entire day of shaking heads and pointed glances. At least, it felt like I did. I was so embarrassed. Several times a week I drive by a sign on the golf course near my home that declares NO DENIM PERMITTED, and I cringe a little. Even after all these years!
Luckily, you can take away a few lessons from my experience. Here are a few tips to survive — and avoid — a faux pas.
Be prepared. Research your destination — whether it be a new restaurant, club, or even a country — long before you arrive. Check for rules and regulations, and always do your due diligence before you depart. You’ll feel more comfortable if you are prepared and feel like you fit in.
Apologize, but don’t dwell. Groveling will bring further attention to your error. A quick, sincere apology will help minimize the situation.
If you can’t avoid a faux pas, make the best of it. If you’re at your boss’ house and you accidentally spill a glass of expensive Bordeaux on her white carpet, stay calm, don’t fret, and apologize quickly. If you can send over a gift basket the next day with a bottle of wine, stain remover, and a gift certificate to a carpet-cleaning service, so much the better.
How did you survive your worst faux pas? What lessons did you learn? I’d love to hear about your experiences! And if you find you need guidance, don’t hesitate to contact me today.
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1 Responses to Faux Pas Linger!
Margaret, you always hit it, bang on! Going on and on about your oopsy (big or small) can make an awkward situation worse. Let it go quickly, and avoid bringing it up later as, “Do you remember when I…?” People are much more interested in themselves than in sharing your embarrassing memories. Use your past as a school room instead of a baseball bat.