Latest "Women" Posts
March 8, 2021
No one is an instant leader. But for women, the journey to more responsibility can seem more arduous than most.
Women represent more than half of the world’s population but still lag behind in leadership roles, from local businesses all the way up to national politics and global organizations. For decades, private and public entities have been studying the problem and investing in solutions — all of which seem to fall short.
Women have been told to lean in and speak up (even if we are interrupted more). Our nations have focused millions on programs to help women break into traditionally male-dominated fields. And yet, the percentage of women in leadership or senior management roles or worldwide is still only 30%.
What are we missing?
I’ve been a serial entrepreneur throughout my adult life. I’ve been an owner or a co-owner of a number of companies. I didn’t experience many of the horror stories I’ve heard from women who were blocked by their male counterparts.
But I did have to overcome my own fears and feelings of unworthiness. I’ve used the lessons I’ve learned in my own life to help elevate other women, and I’m often asked what others can do to help women feel more secure in their abilities. On this International Women’s Day, I encourage people who want to support women to be BRAVE.
Believe
It’s natural to look at other people’s strengths in the workplace and see them as a threat to our own — after all, business is competitive. One of the best talents you can develop is the ability to see women as they could be and fully believe in their potential. Many women don’t envision themselves taking on greater responsibilities until someone encourages them.
Recommend
Invite women into decision-making roles and promote them through your words and actions. If you’re brainstorming how to fill a seat on a board, think of the professional women you know. If you have an excellent coworker, suggest that she apply for a promotion. We have a collective responsibility to open our imaginations and welcome women to the table.
Amplify
It can be difficult for women to be heard in groups. Studies have shown that women are perceived differently when they speak up than men are. We can combat this problem by lifting up women’s speech and thoughts at the board table. Instead of thinking or nodding your assent, vocalize it. When women contribute ideas, recognize them. Amplify women’s voices to ensure they are considered.
Validate
Take time to mentor and validate women. Your contribution can be as simple as sending an encouraging note about a creative solution to a problem or recognizing a special skill, or as involved as serving as a mentor. Whatever you can do to help a woman grow and develop her leadership potential will ripple out into a positive difference in the world.
Encourage and Elevate
The growth process doesn’t end when a woman attains a seat at a board. It’s a career-long — or even lifelong — commitment to shunning comfort and embracing challenge. Encourage women to make the jump to the next level of achievement. Let them know that you will support them as they make the leap.
It takes time to build bravery. I often tell clients that it’s like driving a car: At first, everything seems foreign. You might not know where the turn signal is or when to shift gears. In time, though, driving becomes second-nature and you’re driving hundreds of miles without an ounce of apprehension.
Women have an enormous capacity for bravery when they believe in their own abilities. As co-workers, colleagues, mentors, sisters, brothers, and loved ones, we have a responsibility to foster women’s confidence and empower them to reach their full potential. Encouraging women to be brave starts when they are young girls in school. Check out this inspiring Ted Talk by Reshma Saujani.
The world is a better place when women rise up. This year, let’s commit to lifting them.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Entrepreneur, Business, Personal development, Gender, Women, Uncategorized, Business Etiquette, Communication and tagged International Womens Day, women in business, women in leadership, women in senior management, leadership roles for women
August 4, 2020
Our lessons often pop up when we least expect them. Especially when it comes to beauty.
This is exactly what happened to me several years ago. I had agreed to spend a couple days helping two colleagues who were facilitating a workshop in Vancouver. At the end of the first day, the three of us went out to supper to discuss workshop events and plan for the following day. Naturally, the conversation moved to our personal lives. Because I was single, Doreen asked how I was doing in the relationship department. I revealed that I had recently enlisted the services of a matchmaking company.
“The thing is, I don’t like writing my own profile,” I admitted.” The sample profiles I saw all started with, ‘I am attractive, I am beautiful, and I was advised to follow this approach because men often use appearance as a key factor in selecting the women they want to date. But saying ‘I’m beautiful’ just did not feel right to me.
“It’s not that I think I am ugly,” I clarified. “I just don’t look at myself as beautiful. I’m really uncomfortable writing, ‘I am a beautiful woman.'”
Doreen looked directly at me, eyes fixed on mine, and declared, “Margaret, you have to claim your beauty!” I began to squirm. And then I did what I generally do when I do not like where the conversation is going – I changed the subject.
Over the next three days, my mind kept drifting back to Doreen’s assertive statement: “Margaret, you have to claim your beauty.” She was right, of course. Why was I so reluctant to stand up and acknowledge my own beauty? Why did the very idea of it make me uncomfortable?
Somewhere along the way, we learned that it’s wrong to judge people by their appearance, and we’ve carried that lesson one step too far. Some of us are even reluctant to acknowledge another woman’s beauty. Somehow, this seems inherently wrong.
On the last day of the workshop, my attention kept shifting from one group to the other, and then suddenly I noticed her. There she was – across the room, looking radiant.
It was several seconds before I realized the woman who looked so gorgeous was me. Yes, me. I had glimpsed myself in the mirrored panel of a piece of furniture halfway between the two groups. And in that moment, I saw myself as beautiful.
When I shared my discover with Doreen, she was delighted with my news and hugged me tightly.
Elated, I arrived at my dinner engagement that evening with a friend I hadn’t seen in months. Her first comment was, “You look absolutely wonderful!” Twice more through dinner, she said, “I can’t believe how terrific you look.” I beamed.
Later the next day, my real estate agent showed up for an appointment. She walked in and started talking. Halfway through her first sentence, she stopped, looked closely at me and asked, “Did you get a haircut?” I replied, “No.”
She continued talking as we walked to my kitchen. When we got there, she asked, “Did you lose weight?” I replied, “No.”
She kept talking but suddenly stopped and looked at me more intently. Then she said, “Well, whatever you’re doing, don’t stop. You look absolutely terrific.” Patricia’s comments decorated my life like cherries on top of a sundae. A smile crossed my face – you know, one of those smiles that go from ear to ear and almost hurt the kind of smile you give when you’re in love.
I would like to say that euphoric feeling has lasted even to this day, but I have to acknowledge that it has faded, just like being in love can fade. The human mission, it would seem, is to seek flaws and flush out imperfections. Of course, if that’s what we’re looking for, that’s what we see. That’s why we have to keep our attention on our beauty, the magic that naturally radiates from each and every one of us.
From that day forward, I vowed to see much more than my imperfections. Now when I look in the mirror, I wink at myself and say, “Margaret, you are beautiful.”
Not only does this help me appreciate my own radiance, but it also helps me appreciate the beauty of other women as well. Five years ago, I would have felt uncomfortable telling a woman, “You’re beautiful!” But now it just flows out of me, a genuine and heartfelt expression of appreciation. Isn’t that beautiful?
As a coach, I recommend:
1. When you receive a compliment, graciously accept it and “take it in.”
Don’t resist it, don’t argue with it, don’t deflect it or bounce it back to the person who gave it. Take a deep breath and savour it. Smile and say thank you!
2. When you look in the mirror, break the habit of checking for flaws. Instead, wink! Say something complimentary. Then blow yourself a kiss and say, “I am beautiful!”
While this may seem silly or self indulgent at first, it will lighten your spirits and remind you to focus on your beauty. Try it – it works!
3. Let the mirror tell you to just “be” beautiful
Our lives are so filled with “doing” that we rarely take time to enjoy “being” by acknowledging our own beauty. The next time you get ready for the day, tape a note or write directly on your mirror: “I am beautiful.” Because you are.
4. Be bold enough to acknowledge another woman’s beauty
We see ourselves so often that we tend to lose perspective. Go ahead, empower another woman by telling her how attractive she looks. It will give you both a lift.
5. Share Beauty Affirmations with your Girlfriends
Spend an evening with your close girlfriends over a bottle of wine (or any other favourite beverage) and take turns sharing what you find beautiful about each other. Focus on outer and inner beauty! This exercise encourages me to give complements more often. You will come back to this evening many times in the future, guaranteed!
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Posted by Margaret Page in Personal development, Women, Self Care in challenging times, Ask Miss Maggie and tagged women, self-care, beauty, beautiful, conversations, compliment, perspective
March 17, 2020
After presenting a workshop recently, an audience member asked me how I achieve work-life balance.
I hated to disappoint him, but the truth is that I don’t.
We’re taught that work-life balance is the optimum outcome — a perfect mix of hard work and play, with as much opportunity to rest and recharge as to absorb ourselves in the tasks that will propel us up the ladder.
I don’t know about you, but that model has never worked for me. And honestly, I don’t want it to! I no longer strive for balance. I go for flow.
You know what flow feels like: You’re completely enthralled with whatever you’re doing, whether it’s writing a report or playing with your kids. You’re present in the moment. Time doesn’t stop, but you’re no longer aware of it.
I found that when I focused on balance I became preoccupied with what I needed to do next to maintain equilibrium. My world was a black-and-white series of tasks. When I’m in flow, my world lights up in Technicolor.
So how do you get to this seemingly magic state? By doing less, not more.
Know where your time goes
You’ll never get in flow if you don’t know where your time goes, so begin by tracking your time for a week. How much time do you spend with your family and friends? How much time you spend working? How about the time you spend doing things you don’t want to do? How many hours are spent working on projects that bring you a sense of accomplishment? You can use an online time tracking service like Toggl or Harvest, or you can simply use a spreadsheet or a good old pen and paper. The important thing is to be honest. If you spend two hours a night watching “Seinfeld” reruns, mark it down.
Determine how you want to feel
Knowing your desired outcome is key to making good decisions about your time. Do you want to spend more time with your friends or create more space for building your business? Which of your interests are hobbies and which bring you real fulfillment? Which areas of your career serve your goals and which are pure busywork? You’ll need to understand what you want out of your life before you take the next step.
Ruthlessly edit your time
Take your tracked time and look at it with a critical eye, keeping your desired outcomes in mind. Categorize your time using these questions:
- What can I give up?
- What can I eliminate?
- What can I delegate?
- What routine tasks must I do every day?
Here are a few examples from my own life.
Give Up
I used to wash my hair every day, then take about 45 minutes blow drying it and styling it. I decided to see what would happen if I gave up that daily process and instead did it every third day. Not only do I save 90 minutes over the course of two days, but my stylist says my hair has never been healthier.
Eliminate
I quit watching live TV years ago. I was spending hours on it, sitting through the same commercials over and over again, and wondering where my time went. If I watch TV at all now, I use a streaming service that dispenses with commercials altogether so I can make the most efficient use of my time.
Delegate
I recently hired a cook to drop off healthy meals once a week because I was finding it difficult to do so myself. The cook receives employment doing something she loves, and I find more time to do the things I’m passionate about. Thanks to social media and services like Postmates, you can quickly find someone to help you with just about any errand or time-consuming task that doesn’t fit your priorities right now.
Routine
Exercise is non-negotiable for me because it keeps me mentally and physically fit. Your non-negotiable might include reading your child a story before bed every night or enjoying a cup of coffee by yourself in the morning. Whatever your non-negotiables are, make them a routine so the actions that bring you the most health and happiness are part of your everyday life.
Find Your Flow
Once you have gone through the process of giving up, eliminating, delegating, and making priorities routine, you’ll discover that you’re left with the activities that really spark your senses and challenge you in meaningful ways. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t course correct. Every time you want to add a new project or hobby, go through the editing process again. The goal is to find the right rhythm for you, not to struggle to balance competing interests.
How do you feel when you’re in flow rather than trying to find the perfect work-life balance? What are the strategies you use to find it? I’m interested in hearing what works for you, so please let me know in the comments below.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Personal development, Women, Time management and tagged Time management, work-life balance, routine, delegate, Find your flow
March 3, 2020
On This International Women’s Day, Let’s Salute the Women Who Show Us What True Leadership Means
When my mother was growing up in the Netherlands, men were almost always the head of the house. As one of 14 children — and the fifth girl in a row — she learned early on that men were more valuable. During the week, they would do the heavy work in the potato and cabbage fields and help with the cows; on Sundays they were able to enjoy deep discussions about politics and the economy. My mother learned early on that her role was to embroider, knit, and do “useful women’s work.”
So it’s no surprise that she deferred to my father as head of the household. As a result, my brothers were also expected to take on much bigger challenges than I was.
And yet it was my mother who, as I get older, served as an inspiration. Even though she wasn’t raised to take on leadership positions, she did — as a volunteer for a union, the Poppy Fund, the Royal Canadian Legion, and the local hospital. She still teaches knitting to people — she refers to them as “seniors”. Although she doesn’t quite acknowledge that she is a senior too.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Personal development, Gender, Women and tagged leadership, women, International Women's Day 2020, equality, inspiring women, mothers
