Latest "Etiquette Edge" Posts
February 6, 2017
Some Valentines Day ideas and etiquette tips that will leave a lasting impression with your sweetie!
- Valentine’s Day is a busy day for restaurants so if you’re planning on taking your date out for a special dinner, make the reservation now. Today. It’s not surprising that all the good restaurants book up far in advance and you don’t want to find yourself running through a drive-thru with your date. That would NOT be romantic, and it may be your very last date. 🙂
- If you’re checking out a new place for dinner, be sure to give some thought to how you’ll get there and where you’ll park. This will avoid being late for your reservation.
- If you’re buying flowers, red roses are classic, but to go the extra mile, consider your loved one’s favorite flower. You’ll definitely gain some points for paying attention if you arrive with a bouquet of her favorites.
- Instead of spending hours sifting through store-bought (often-generic) Valentine’s Day cards, why not create a video message or create a Lovestegram! With a Lovestegram, you can send a Valentine’s Day photo album to your love that is completely personal.
- Just because you’re on a tight budget, doesn’t mean you can’t plan a special evening with your spouse or significant other. Cooking together, with soft music playing in the background is very romantic. Make the evening special by getting dressed up, lighting some candles and setting the table with your best china and a bouquet of fresh flowers.
- If you’re looking for a special gift that costs very little, consider this handmade treasure. What better way to share how much someone means to you than a “10 Things I Love About You Jar!” Just jot down all the reasons the person is special to you (and it can be more than 10!) and put them in a jar. Fancy it up with some fabric and you will have a personal gift that they will never forget!
If you do plan an evening out at a restaurant, keep your phone turned off, or, at the very least, out of sight. If it’s out of sight, you’ll be less tempted to check it. Many times I’ve witnessed couples, seated at a beautiful table in a nice restaurant, each of them off in their own world – on their cell phones, texting or chatting with someone else! If you’re expecting an urgent call, ask to be excused and take your call away from the table, in privacy.
Another tricky question I get this time of year is around splitting the check – or “going Dutch.” The answer to this is simple, for Valentine’s Day and any time of year, “Whoever does the asking, does the paying.” And if you have a coupon deal, best to save that for a night out with your friends.
Lastly, bad manners are a big turn-off, so be very mindful of your manners from the moment you greet your date. Chewing with your mouth open, talking with your mouth full, and shoveling your food into your mouth will not impress. Men, keep the simple things in mind: opening the door for your date, pulling out her chair if the wait staff doesn’t do it for her. Courtesy and respect will never go out of style.
Do you have a favorite Valentine’s Day memory you’d like to share? We’d love to hear it!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged manners, dining etiquette, Valentine's Day etiquette, courtesy
February 5, 2017
Looking for some unique gift ideas to express your love and affection for that special someone this Valentines?
We thought we’d have some fun by sharing a few unique ideas we found.
FOR HIM
My brother absolutely loved this gift I gave him for Christmas. Help him discover his inner chef—and master the skills for a great meal – with the “Everyday Gourmet” cooking course.
Etsy is a great place to go for homemade gifts, and more. This personalized bottle opener is pretty sharp and I love the packaging.
FOR HER
Flowers and candy are classic, but if you are looking for a unique gift idea, this personalized heart in the sand canvas will definitely show her you’re a romantic at heart. 🙂
You could really be romantic with these “reasons I love you stones.” With sayings like “…because you’re an inspiration” and “… for always getting my jokes,” she’ll love the sentiment. And the pretty bag the stones come in. Or hide them around the house – in places you know she’ll find them. This gift could go on giving all year long!
FOR EITHER OF YOU!
These were a fun gift idea – for any occasion. For Valentine’s Day, they offer a Personalized M & M’s Romance gift box. Very cute.
I gave these personalized fortune cookies to someone a few years ago and they were a hit. There are some yummy-looking Valentine’s Day themed options now/
Take a look at these super cute and unique plants. Very unique gift idea.
If you have a way with words, this may be the perfect gift. Tell your own love story with The Love Book. Very romantic!
When I saw these pillowcases, I knew they would bring a smile to someone’s face. True pillow talk 🙂
What special or unique gift have you received for Valentines Day (or any other day!)? Share some ideas with us!
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Posted by Margaret in Just for Fun and tagged gifts, say i love you, Valentines Day
November 21, 2016
Supersize these nuggets, then share them with others. Have fun networking!
- When you meet people at a networking event, shake hands, smile and look them in the eye. Greeting people warmly is always welcome.
- Have professionally designed and printed business cards available to give on request. Better yet, make a point of asking others for their cards . . . that way, you can follow up and not wait for them to contact you.
- Listen well when talking with others. Use your eyes, heart and brain as well as your ears to engage in a full conversation. Never look over the person’s shoulder to pick out someone “more important.”
- Take opportunities to praise people for the contributions they make. Letting them take a bow makes you both feel good!
- Make a point of regularly connecting with people on your key contact list, even when you aren’t requesting something from them. They will feel nurtured by your outreach.
- Follow up your networking conversations within a day or two (that’s why you ask for the other’s card). Graciously follow through on any agreements you make—and do it as soon as practical.
- If you’re in a conversation with people who are badmouthing others, do the reverse. Say positive things instead; “goodmouth” them as recommended by Susan Rhohan.
- Acknowledge what others do and who they are by sending cards, emails or letters. Frequently congratulate those in your networking circle on their ideas and achievements.
- Always ask people how you can help them accomplish their goals. Get specific details and follow through on what you promised. Doing that will build loyalty and trust every time!
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Posted by Margaret Page in Newsletters, Business Etiquette, A Page of Insight, Etiquette Edge and tagged etiquette tips, networking etiquette, networking tips
July 29, 2016
The social media revolution has conditioned us to think that everything must be shared: Our thoughts, our schedules — even our meals! But while all of that sharing might be great for friends and family, the rules are different for business. An embarrassing post could block you from a promotion or a new job. In fact, it might even cost you your career.
According to the blog The Hiring Site, 60 percent of employers use social media to screen job candidates. Human resources departments may ask that you install device management software on your personal cell phone or iPad if you also use it for business, and some human resources departments actually track their employees’ private Facebook and Twitter accounts.
So how can you protect your accounts and present the best version of yourself? Here are a few practical tips that may save you heartache.
Think like an employer. Before applying for a job, scour your social media accounts for incriminating photos — it’s best that you do so before human resources does. (This is especially important for people just entering the job market.) Remove any photos that contain evidence of excessive alcohol consumption, drug use, obscene gestures, or illegal activity. Remember, a company is making an investment in you — and you need to do everything possible to make yourself seem worthy of that investment. If you wouldn’t want your grandmother to see it, delete or untag yourself (or both).
Add Timeline Review to your Facebook account. Timeline Review allows you the first and final say over what appears on your Facebook page. All posts made to your page first must be approved through the review process; you may delete whichever posts you don’t care to keep. To turn Timeline Review on, click at the top right of any Facebook page and select Settings, then click Timeline and Tagging in the left column. Look for “Review posts friends tag you in before they appear on your Timeline?” and click on Edit, then select Enabled from the drop-down menu. Keep in mind that mentions of you may appear elsewhere on Facebook, such as in search, but Timeline Review gives you a bit more control over your own page.
Set your accounts to private. Setting your accounts to private is the easiest way to maintain control over what the public sees. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram all allow private account settings that are available to other users only by request. An employer will be able to see your comments on other people’s pages, but your own accounts will be protected.
Make your wishes clear. Be honest with your friends and family members: Let them know that you need their discretion. Ask them to refrain from posting and tagging without your permission. If you encounter resistance, it might be time to unfriend that person — both in social media and in real life!
Deal with problems directly. Everyone makes mistakes, but move swiftly if you encounter a photo or post that could make trouble for you. Speak directly to the person who put the photo or information on social media — in this case, a phone call or face-to-face meeting is best, if possible.
How have you overcome an embarrassing situation on social media? Tell me in the comments below!
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Posted by Margaret Page in Uncategorized, Etiquette Edge and tagged social media for employees, etiquette tips, manners, guide to social media etiquette, social media etiquette, social media manners, social media etiquette for employers
July 5, 2016
Smartphones are ubiquitous — in fact, I’d wager that many of us aren’t even aware how often we rely on these powerful little computers. Stop and think for a second: How often do you pull yours out to check the time? To pass a few minutes when you’re standing in line? To dash off a quick email between meetings?
Smartphones are convenient, to be sure, and they keep us connected no matter where we are. But in a world built on relationships, is that really a good thing? What could you gain by putting away the phone?
We’ve become so inured to smartphones that many of us have forgotten the importance of human presence. Your full attention (and your discretion in giving it) is one of the most powerful tools in your professional toolbox, and it’s one worth developing. Here are a few tips on how you can break the smartphone habit.
Set Your Own Standard. I have a colleague who once worked for a home goods company. Several times a year, vendors would fly across the country to make presentations to the CEO, president, and other key stakeholders, including my colleague. “I was always appalled when I would look around the table and realize my co-workers were using this time as an opportunity to check their messages — even the president and CEO,” she says. “And what’s worse is that the president and CEO reinforced this behavior by making it seem OK in the first place.”
It can seem acceptable to behave poorly when even your superiors are doing so. But think about the vendors giving the presentations: These moments were important to them and their businesses. They deserved better.
Ban Phones From the Table. Phone use seems particularly egregious in an intimate setting, like a meal. What better opportunity to connect with a business associate than over lunch or a quiet dinner? A few years ago, the “phone stack” was popular: After a table ordered, everyone would stack their phones in the middle of the table. The first person to reach for their phone would pick up the bill. That’s a great idea among friends, but if you’re dining out with a colleague who has a habit of pulling out the phone, make your intentions clear. Try saying, “We so rarely get a chance to talk face to face. Isn’t a luxury these days? Why don’t we agree to keep our phones stashed while we eat?”
Safeguard Your Time. What if you’re the one having a hard time disengaging from the phone? Think about what constantly checking and responding to emails says about you: You have no boundaries. If you answer emails during meetings, non-working hours, or weekends, you’re setting an expectation that the times you have set aside as important should not be important to others. And in today’s 24/7 world, people will take advantage of your non-stop vigilance.
What are your smartphone pet peeves? Tell me in the comments below! If you’re interested in learning more about developing your business etiquette skills, please contact me for more information about upcoming workshops and events.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Etiquette Tips, Everyday Etiquette and tagged cell phones, courtesies, etiquette tips, email etiquette, cell phone etiquette
May 31, 2016
When you hear the word “etiquette,” what do you think of? Do you relate it to fancy table manners and other highfalutin behaviors associated with the social protocol of dignitaries, royalty and “upper class?”
Etiquette is being aware of how your actions affect those around you. It’s about making others feel comfortable in your presence by the way you present yourself. It is not a standard we hold others to, but instead, a way we measure ourselves.
Having good manners and following etiquette guidelines, rather than being stuffy, serve to make everyday interactions more pleasant for everyone.
Emily Post said it best with this quote: “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”
So, why does it matter? In business it’s a sign of professionalism and respect for others. Knowing what to do or say in business situations saves you from an embarrassing moment, but also puts the other person at ease—building trust.
With the launch of the digital age, etiquette has definitely seen some changes. Social media and new technology has altered the way we live and the way we communicate. It’s so easy to forget the basics of good manners when we can share information so easily on Facebook!
It’s more important than ever to take a step back and remember to keep to those standards we set for ourselves. Whether we’re using technology or face-to-face communication, the rules of etiquette are constant. Here are two questions to ask yourself: Is what I am about to do respectful? Is it kind?
Turning off our cell phones when in the company of others. Thinking before we send a tweet or post a status update to Facebook that shares personal information that could be harmful to others. It matters.
Yes, the digital age has added new etiquette questions, but in the end, the answer is still the same. Etiquette is about making other people feel comfortable. It’s about doing the right thing at the right time. It’s about respecting others and yourself.
Good manners will never go out of style.
“Class is not about societal position, wealth, and status or up bringing. Class is about making other people feel comfortable in your presence.” ~ Ann Landers
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Posted by Margaret Page in Business Etiquette, Everyday Etiquette and tagged etiquette tips, business etiquette, importance of etiquette
May 19, 2016
Is it possible to be overly polite? As Canadians, it’s been said that we are polite – to a fault. Just do a quick search online for Canadians and the word “Sorry” and you’ll see plenty of commentary – and photos–on the subject of our apologetic ways.
I read an article recently where the author recounted this story: A Canadian ex-pat, living in New York, who was rather homesick found herself in a crowded two-room bookstore with high book aisles. From across the room she heard, “Excuse me – I’m sorry – excuse me.” She immediately went into the other room and searched up and down the aisles until she found the person she’d heard, who had been trying to make her way through the aisles. “Are you Canadian?” he asked her. And sure enough, the woman was another Canadian ex-pat. Funny story. Even as Canadians, we think we’re apologetic!
So, yes, there is definitely truth to the “stereotype” that we Canadians are nice. Notoriously, it seems. It’s really hard to know why Canadians go out of their way to be polite. Have our British roots turned us into a nation of self-apologists?
Bruce Grierson’s essay “Polite to a fault: Canadians are world champs. And yes, we actually did invent it,” gives credit to the Canadian sociologist Erving Goffman for inventing politeness.
“Most people think of politeness as ingrained good manners, civilized bearing, the ‘momma-brung-you-up-well’ stuff,” says Goffman. “And true enough, Canadians have that kind of reflexive politeness in spades. I remember once as a younger man in a fast-food outlet catching myself saying, ‘You’re welcome’ to the garbage can, which had ‘Thank You’ stamped on the little swinging window.”
Okay, yes, that’s a little tongue-in-cheek humor on his part, but he goes on to make a very good point with: “Society is organized on the principle that any individual who possesses certain social characteristics has a moral right to expect that others will value and treat him in an appropriate way.” So perhaps Canadians are polite in the hope or belief that others will return the favor.
While this “too polite” stereotype has provided some with a laugh or two, there is something to be said about being considerate of others.
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged manners, Canadians, polite, sorry
April 21, 2016
I’m not sure that anyone else in the world remembers one of my biggest faux pas, but I do. Luckily, I’ve used the lesson learned from it to counsel many people on how to avoid their own embarrassing situations.
A decade ago, I was helping at a golf tournament hosted by the Premier at the newly opened Bear Mountain Resort in Victoria, British Columbia. I received a T-shirt and a ball cap from an organization I supported to shield me from the sun. Perfect golf attire, right? I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I dressed early in the morning and noticed my roommate giving my denim capris a sideways glance.
“Blue jeans aren’t permitted on the golf course,” she said. “You best put on something else.”
“But I don’t have anything else!” I protested. “Are you sure that’s a rule? Golf is an outdoor sport. Why no denim?”
“Tradition,” she said. “It sets a better standard.”
I panicked. I had packed no other options, and my chances of finding an alternative to denim were pretty slim at 6:30 a.m. I would have gladly paid double and bought something from the resort’s store, but nothing was available.
Instead, I endured an entire day of shaking heads and pointed glances. At least, it felt like I did. I was so embarrassed. Several times a week I drive by a sign on the golf course near my home that declares NO DENIM PERMITTED, and I cringe a little. Even after all these years!
Luckily, you can take away a few lessons from my experience. Here are a few tips to survive — and avoid — a faux pas.
Be prepared. Research your destination — whether it be a new restaurant, club, or even a country — long before you arrive. Check for rules and regulations, and always do your due diligence before you depart. You’ll feel more comfortable if you are prepared and feel like you fit in.
Apologize, but don’t dwell. Groveling will bring further attention to your error. A quick, sincere apology will help minimize the situation.
If you can’t avoid a faux pas, make the best of it. If you’re at your boss’ house and you accidentally spill a glass of expensive Bordeaux on her white carpet, stay calm, don’t fret, and apologize quickly. If you can send over a gift basket the next day with a bottle of wine, stain remover, and a gift certificate to a carpet-cleaning service, so much the better.
How did you survive your worst faux pas? What lessons did you learn? I’d love to hear about your experiences! And if you find you need guidance, don’t hesitate to contact me today.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Etiquette Edge and tagged Golf Etiquette, Faux Pas
March 8, 2016
Hashtags. They’re everywhere! Their popularity began with Twitter and then rapidly expanded to almost all other social media networks. In fact, they are now being referenced in television commercials, like this one for Toyota Corolla. If you’re not familiar with hashtags, a hashtag is a word or phrase that begins with a pound sign (#) and are used to help people find messages with a specific theme or content.
Why bother using hashtags? If you are trying to have more online conversations, or increase exposure to influencers, then using relevant hashtags in your social updates will help you do that. Anyone that searches for or clicks on hashtagged content can see all of the other posts that include that keyword or phrase. If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve likely seen my tweets with the #etiquette hashtag, for example.
Unfortunately, hashtags have been increasingly abused, creating a whole new sect of social “netiquette” issues. To get the most out of hashtags, here are a few tips to follow:
- Always spellcheck – Make sure your hashtag is spelled correctly so people can find your content. For example, more people will find my posts if I use #etiquette as opposed to #etiquete as a hashtag.
- All one word – Putting a space between two words in a hashtag phrase will only make the first word searchable rather than the entire phrase. For example, if I post a link to an article on body language, I would use the hashtag #BodyLanguage, as opposed to #Body Language. The latter, in this example, will only get searches from people looking for posts with the word “body” in them.
- Capitalize – Make an effort to capitalize each word in your hashtag phrase. This makes it so much easier to read. In Toastmasters, the widely used hashtag phrase we use #WhereLeadersAreMade, for example, is far easier to read than #whereleadersaremade?
- Double check – Always double check your hashtag to ensure that it can’t be misconstrued. When Margaret Thatcher passed away, people were using the hashtag #NowThatchersDead in their social posts. However, when the capitalization was removed, the #nowthathchersdead phrase was comprehended incorrectly as “Now that Cher’s Dead”!
- Keep it short – #ThisIsAnExampleOfAnUnnecessarilyLongHashtag. You’ve likely seen many “run-on” hashtag phrases being used in a joking manner. However, if you are serious about getting your message noticed, keep it short.
- Cut back – Avoid using too many hashtags in one social post. It’s confusing, makes your post difficult to read and muddies your message. One to two hashtags are ideal for most social networks, with the exception of Instagram, where you can use as many as seven hashtags without raising eyebrows.
- Don’t hijack a hashtag – Refrain using hashtags that have nothing to do with your topic. “Hijacking” popular or trending hashtags that are not relevant to your message is in poor taste and could negatively affect your online personae. Keep it on topic.
- Search it – Are you using a new hashtag for a post? If so, do a search for it to see if it has already been utilized elsewhere. If so and it is not relevant to your message, try to come up with a different word or phrase that makes more sense.
Do you have any hashtag etiquette tips or interesting stories you’d like to share? Tweet your hashtag etiquette to me @EtiquettePage – and be sure to tag it with #HashtagEtiquette. Thanks!
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Posted by Margaret Page in Business Etiquette and tagged social media etiquette, hashtag etiquette
March 1, 2016
Whether it’s concerns for the environment, the price of gas, parking headaches or just plain convenience, more and more people are using public transportation to get from point A to point B. The increase in ridership means that a lot more people are sharing buses, trolleys, subways and boarding areas—making it even more important that we remember to use common courtesy.
Dude Its Rude
In an effort to get riders thinking about their personal travel habits, the Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority (SEPTA) recently launched new passenger etiquette ad campaign titled “Dude It’s Rude.” SEPTA says the new campaign intentionally takes an edgy tone, using strong visuals and minimal content to get the message across. They don’t include any branding on the posters so that the riders think more about the message and less about who is delivering it. I think the campaign is brilliant! Some of the “to the point” messages include “DUDE IT’S RUDE…TAKE YOUR TRASH” AND “DUDE ITS RUDE, TONE IT DOWN.”
In fact, the Metropolitan Transportation Authority in New York has taken their own etiquette campaign a step further with ads aimed at the impolite practice of “manspreading”. Have you heard of this before? It is the wide-legged stance that many men assume when they take a seat. Unfortunately, this sitting position on the subway often takes up two or sometimes three seats in the process. And that is just plain rude!
When In Rome … (or In This Case, Singapore)
In Singapore, the public transportation system may have the strictest rules I have ever come across. And if you’re visiting the country, be aware of those rules because the country is known for harsh penalties and you aren’t going to get a “get out of jail free” just because you’re a tourist!
On trains in Singapore, you are not permitted to eat, drink, or even breastfeed. Not even a drop of water is allowed. The reason? According to the country’s transport authority “… it could spill and wet seats, soil other commuters’ belongings or cause them to slip and fall. We want to prevent any accidents and make sure that everyone can enjoy a pleasant ride.”
Etiquette tips for travelers
To ensure that your next ride is pleasant for both you and the people you’re sharing space with, keep these etiquette tips in mind:
- When boarding buses or trains, wait until everyone that wants to exit has disembarked before you get on
- Keep doorways free and clear on trains and buses
- Always offer your seat to pregnant women, the elderly, the disabled, or mothers with young children
- Take up just ONE seat. Remove your backpack or large purse if you are standing and place it between your legs or directly in front of you. Gentlemen – Please avoid the selfish act of “manspreading”.
- On escalators in North America stand to the right to allow people who wish to walk up to go by on the left
- Avoid wearing strong perfumes when using transit
- Don’t use your outside voice inside commuting with friends
- Watch your language (keep it clean, people!)
- Put your phone on vibrate and refrain from making or taking calls using it while on public transportation
- Refrain from eating on the train or bus.
- Sneeze or cough into the inside of your elbow—and away from people if possible
- Turn down the tunes if you’re listening to music with earphones (yes, it’s louder than you think)
- No smoking – this includes at the train station or bus stop
- Never leave your trash on the bus or train
What’s your biggest public transit etiquette pet peeve? Share it with us.
Photo credit: : https://www.flickr.com/photos/cavyi/3789791794/sizes/m/in/photostream/
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Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette and tagged public transportation etiquette
