Latest "Etiquette Edge" Posts
December 30, 2010
Cheers! As we ring in the new year, it seemed appropriate to share a few toasting tips for 2011.
Cheers! Happy New Year 2011
First tip
The best toasts follow the three B’s of toasting: Begin, Be Brief, and Be Seated. And if you’re the one giving a toast, you’re wise to incorporate a fourth B—Be Prepared
Tip #2: Make it Personal
Speak from the heart when giving a toast. Share a funny anecdote or a personal story that will not only pay homage to the person being honored, but entertain the crowd.
Tip #3: Don’t Rush and Keep Cool
If you’re a little nervous about being “in the spotlight,” take some deep breaths before you begin and then speak slowly. Remember, you’re not auditioning for the school play, you’re sharing a toast. Memorize your toast or use notes as reminders of key points. Rehearse in advance to calm your nerves.
Tip #4: Keep it Short
Keep your remarks brief—less than a minute and a half, and ideally only one minute.
Tip #5: Don’t be Corny
Choose your words carefully, avoid clichés, and deliver a short message filled with goodwill.
Tip #6: A Shoe Won’t Do
Sipping champagne from a shoe is interesting, but best to use a wine goblet, champagne flute or other glass for a toast. And…must I say it? Never drink from a bottle.
“Here’s a toast to the future; a toast to the past; and a toast to our friends, far and near. May the future be pleasant; the past a bright dream; and may our friends remain faithful and dear.” ~ Anonymous
Happy New Year!
photo by: RLHyde
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Posted by Margaret in Etiquette Tips and tagged New Year's Eve, toast to 2011, toasting etiquette, toasting tips
December 24, 2010
‘Tis the season of giving so I’ve decided to share my all-time favorite eggnog recipe with you. (Feel free to share this cup of cheer with all your friends this holiday season! ).
The recipe calls for bourbon, but tastes just as yummy without the punch of alcohol.
Serve eggnog at a party in a large punchbowl with “puddles” of whipped cream spaced over the suface, sprinkle with grated nutmeg and set out with wine glasses or Irish coffee mugs for a decorative touch.
Happy noggin’! And cheers to a wonder-filled holiday season!
Eggnog Recipe
Ingredients
4 egg yolks
1/3 cup sugar, plus 1 tablespoon
1 pint whole milk
1 cup heavy cream
3 ounces bourbon (optional)
1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
4 egg whites
Directions
In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the egg yolks until they lighten in color. Gradually add the 1/3 cup sugar and continue to beat until it is completely dissolved. Add the milk, cream, bourbon and nutmeg and stir to combine.
Place the egg whites in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat to soft peaks. With the mixer still running gradually add the 1 tablespoon of sugar and beat until stiff peaks form.
Whisk the egg whites into the mixture. Chill and serve.
For cooked eggnog, follow procedure below.
In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the egg yolks until they lighten in color. Gradually add the 1/3 cup sugar and continue to beat until it is completely dissolved. Set aside.
In a medium saucepan, over high heat, combine the milk, heavy cream and nutmeg and bring just to a boil, stirring occasionally. Remove from the heat and gradually temper the hot mixture into the egg and sugar mixture. Then return everything to the pot and cook until the mixture reaches 160 degrees F. Remove from the heat, stir in the bourbon, pour into a medium mixing bowl, and set in the refrigerator to chill.
In a medium mixing bowl, beat the egg whites to soft peaks. With the mixer running gradually add the 1 tablespoon of sugar and beat until stiff peaks form. Whisk the egg whites into the chilled mixture
Recipe compliments of Alton Brown.
photo credit: isik
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Posted by Margaret in Just for Fun and tagged Christmas, eggnog, party planning
December 18, 2010
With the holiday season fast approaching, I’m sure you’re wondering how you will thank those people in your life who provided you with services throughout the year. Your hairdresser? Your caregiver? The groomer who clips your pooch’s nails just right? You want them to continue to pamper your every whim next year, don’t you?
Tipping during the holiday season has always been a way to share your gratitude with those people who have made your life just a wee bit easier during the year. But how much should you tip? And does it have to be cash?
Here are a few tips for holiday tipping to help you plan for the season.
1. Hair Stylist / Barber: A good rule of thumb, assuming you tip well all year long, is to add 50% to your regular tip. It’s tough to find someone who “gets” your hair. Make sure they know how much you appreciate the time they rescued you after you decided to give yourself new bangs.
2. Mail Carrier: A small gift is a nice way to thank your mail carrier for lugging that package from your grandmother through the snow-covered sidewalk to your front door. Rain, sleet, snow…you get the picture.
3. Housekeeper: If you have someone coming in to keep your house spic and span, be sure to acknowledge them for their hard work. Suggested tip is the equivalent of what you’d pay for your cleaning. Dishpan hands leads to more manicures, which is costly. Avoid that cost now by showing your appreciation to your house cleaner. She (or he) deserves it!
4. (Speaking of) Manicurists: I suggest $15 – $20 for your manicurist. ($30 if she has to bring out the hand sander and goggles for your pedicure)
5. Live-in Nanny: If you have a full-time nanny, a Christmas bonus equivalent to a week’s salary is appropriate. Caring for your child is such personal thing, so if you really want to show your appreciation, make it more personal. Bake your nanny some cookies, have your child make her a card, and buy her a personal gift. Something you know she would never buy herself. She’s caring for your most precious gift, so be sure you express your gratitude in a way that shows how much that means to you.
6. Day Care Provider(s): A gift from you, or cash ($25 – $70), and a small gift from your child. Be sure to add a personal note.
7. Teenage Babysitter: Don’t forget to pick up a little something for your part-time sitter. An iTunes gift card or an Amazon gift certificate, perhaps?
8. Massage Therapist / Trainer: You know you will need their full attention in the new year, so don’t forget them now. The cost of a session is the best gauge for tipping. If you’re strapped for cash, a gift card for the movies or a local restaurant will show you appreciate their dedication to making your body the best it can be!
9. Pet Groomer: If you have the budget, a cash tip, the equivalent to one visit is a good rule of thumb. A small gift, or gift card, is also a nice way to let your pet groomer know you appreciate the care he or she gives to your pooch’s “do.”
10. Teacher: Give your child’s teacher a gift, not cash. Along with the gift, be sure to have your child write a personal note. That will go a long way the next time little Billy says, “It wasn’t me. Joey made me do it.”
Remember, there really aren’t any “rules” for tipping during the holiday season. But, in today’s economy, if you are able to tip generously, do. And if you’re a little strapped for cash, get creative. When looking for ways to share the love, let the holiday spirit (and your personal budget) be your guide.
photo credit: mysza831
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Posted by Margaret in Etiquette Tips and tagged etiquette tips, Christmas, holiday, tipping guide
December 2, 2010
If you think you’re the only one listening to the callers on cell phone or the music on your iPod… think again!
We tend to assume that ear buds, headphones and cell phones funnel sound directly to our eardrums, but in truth, a significant amount of sound escapes these channels, flowing freely into the environment around us.
This side-stream sound can easily annoy other people – or worse!
On Friday afternoon, Jason was carpooling home from a conference with several colleagues. It was nearly 5:00 pm when Jason’s phone rang; it was his wife calling, wondering when he would be home.
After a quick update, as they were about to end their call, Jason’s wife let him know just how much she was missing him with a spicy little comment that was clearly meant for his ears alone.
Unfortunately, her message reached more ears than she intended. Suddenly, everyone was blushing and looking out the window – everyone except Jason, who had no idea how many people knew about his very personal plans.
Here’s what else he didn’t know: One of the easiest ways to accidentally compromise confidentiality is to take a personal call in close proximity to someone else. As careful as you may be with your own words, your caller’s speech can easily reach those within a few feet of you. And in a small, closed environment such as an office or car, your unintended audience has no choice but to listen, like it or not!
Cell phones are not the only offender, though. As any frequent flyer can tell you, personal music players, portable games and movie players are just as guilty of earpiece sound leakage.
Gym-goers know it, too. We love to move to our own beat, but when we pump up the volume, it shouldn’t be any surprise when our immediate neighbors move elsewhere.
The key to conquering earpiece leakage: a little consideration – and distance! Lower your volume setting when around other people, and make sure you’re at least 10 feet away from an unsuspecting audience when you take personal calls.
These are such simple steps, but they can make such a big difference to those around you – and that, my dear reader, is the very essence of etiquette.
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged etiquette tips
November 29, 2010
It can take years to build a great professional reputation, but here are some quick, easy ways to please, respect, even impress the people you work with.
1. Always use diplomacy: Speak to your convictions in the calmest, most respectful way possible. Always.
2. Treat everyone kindly: Relationships with peers and subordinates are as important as those your carefully cultivate with superiors, clients and other key people.
3. Never leave your boss open to surprise: Keep her or him informed of issues, discretely.
4. Keep detailed notes on people: Use your contact manager to note personal details (spouse’s name, children, and other notable facts). This is such an easy way to reinforce a relationship.
5. Disparaging comments can do tremendous damage to a relationship, reputation, even a career in the blink of an eye. Be very careful with your words about others, as they will often be repeated.
These guidelines may seem deceptively simple, but they highlight an overall attitude of respect and service that is becoming increasingly uncommon. Adopt them, and you’ll stand head and shoulders above the rest.
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged etiquette tips
March 22, 2010
Common courtesy is still the best guideline for etiquette, in any arena, but with technology changing so fast, it can easily fall by the wayside.
Here are some simple rules to remember about e-mail etiquette.
1. Write a descriptive subject line so the recipient will know immediately where this matter fits in the larger picture.
2. Remember to include a greeting. It’s effortless, yet it makes a connection between writer and recipient.
3. Don’t waste people’s time. Think twice before choosing “reply to all” and delete any unnecessary information in forwarded messages (headers, addresses, etc.).
4. Always be respectful; e-mails are easily saved, shared and quoted in the future. If you feel the urge to write an emotionally charged message, go handle it in person.
5. Respond in a timely fashion – even if only to say, I can’t respond until (date).
It’s the little things that matter… but they really do matter! Remember, it only takes a moment to give yourself the Etiquette Edge.
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged etiquette tips, email etiquette
March 7, 2010
With so much public concern about the H1N1 virus and other contagious germs, hand sanitizer dispensers are popping up everywhere! We see them at schools, the grocery store, office buildings, and just about everywhere else we go.
While these alcohol-based gels are an extremely effective way to kill germs and protect our health without breaking stride, they do have one major drawback… clammy hands!
When the alcohol evaporates, it always takes some body heat from your skin along with it. This leaves skin feeling chilled until your circulating blood warms it again. The same thing happens when we wash out hands. A little body heat leaves your skin with the evaporating water.
While this isn’t generally an issue for most people… it can certainly make for an uncomfortable handshake – for both people! How can you radiate warmth and brilliance… if the first impression you give someone is a clammy hand?
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged handshakes, first impressions, hand sanitizers
February 17, 2010
Why, oh why, do people talk so LOUDLY on their cell phones? Everyone notices it, many complain about it… and yet everyone does it.
So, why? What is that phenomenon all about?
A friend of mine, who happens to be in the field of telecommunications, recently enlightened me on this matter. As it turns out, cell phones are missing a bit of technology that our land-line phones have – the mechanism that helps us hear ourselves talking.
In regular telephones, we have something called a network card. One of its functions is to re-route a bit of your speech from the mouthpiece back to the earpiece. The speaker hears themselves talking, which helps them regulate their speaking volume. This is called sidetone.
For some reason, cell phones don’t have sidetone, so we don’t hear ourselves through the earpiece. It doesn’t seem like that should matter much, but it does.
Because our first experiences were with land-line phones, we subconsciously learned to listen for our own voice through the earpiece. When we don’t hear it on cell phones, we instinctively TALK LOUDER.
Maybe this bit of information will help soothe your nerves when a fellow shopper is telling the entire store about her colonoscopy. Or, maybe not.
However, now that you know that we all tend to do this, make sure YOU don’t broadcast your personal life by accident. I promise you, the rest of us really don’t want to know.
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged cell phone etiquette, privacy
February 16, 2010
I recently traveled to Las Vegas for my daughter’s wedding – a real-life, Rock-n-Roll Elvis wedding.
My friends had to chuckle at the idea of an Etiquette Maven at an Elvis wedding, as if this was somehow a volatile combination. But the truth is, I was completely charmed by the whole event! “Elvis” was so engaging; he had the whole group singing and dancing. It was fun, light-hearted, full of music and spirit, and most certainly memorable.
When I returned home and expressed my delight, those chuckling friends were so surprised. “We never thought you’d enjoy something so tacky as a fat singer in a sequined, polyester jumpsuit – and at a wedding, no less!”
It was my turn to chuckle. Their idea of an etiquette maven was so cliché – prim and proper and restrained – and in their minds, an Elvis wedding was 180° the opposite!
So, for the record, I’ll say it again:
Etiquette is all about having a good time – and making sure others are too. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a velvet cape and crown or shiny gold polyester. If you make your guests feel welcome, comfortable and carefree, that’s social grace.
And in that light, it was a roaring success. In fact, at the end of the evening, I just couldn’t help myself… I took my exit with a curled lip and a jaunty little smile, saying, “Thank you, thank you very much…” because it truly was a lovely event.
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Posted by Margaret in Wedding Etiquette and tagged Elvis wedding, Las Vegas
February 13, 2010
If you ever…
- Interrupt a real-life conversation to take a (non-urgent) call
- Half-way participate in conversations while gazing at a screen
- Talk on a cell phone while paying for groceries
- Talk on the phone while using the restroom
- Fixate on a video/computer game (Solitaire, anyone?)
- Zone out and mindlessly eat in front of the television, then pullyourself off the couch and wonder where the hours (and food!) went…
…chances are, you’ve been techno-tized.
There’s something about the power of the almighty screen that shifts our minds into neutral. We suddenly become preoccupied and passive, falling into a trance where the screen dominates our attention while the world – and people – around us fade away.
If you’ve ever tried to talk to a child watching television, you understand this phenomenon well. But adults are just as guilty. We’ve all seen two people in a restaurant, ignoring each other but talking on cell phones as they eat.
To be fair, technology has come so far, so fast, that we can’t help but be fascinated. Have you seen computer graphics these days? And the animation in movies… wow!
But the point is this: technology is changing our culture – and it’s doing so at a shockingly fast pace. It takes us into uncharted social territory, where there are no rules (yet). And even if there were rules, they too would change by next year, maybe sooner.
So this leaves us all wondering: how do we behave? Where should we draw the line? What can we assume about what’s acceptable – and what’s not?
Here’s the bottom line: No matter how fascinating technology gets, do we really want to live in a world where people are more loyal to their entertainment, gadgets and games – than to other people?
Technology is as wonderful as its positive impact on our lives. The moment is starts drawing power from your relationships and real-world life, it’s probably time to…
*click*
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Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette and tagged technology, video games, cell phones, distractions
