Latest "Etiquette Edge" Posts
December 4, 2012
I have a friend who shared with me recently that one of the ways she keeps up with what’s going on in the lives of her four grown children is by checking their Facebook and Twitter profiles. She knows where her son—who is away at college—is spending his time most days because she sees his Foursquare check-ins pop up on his Facebook page! My friend feels more at ease by having a little glimpse into their daily lives (even though her children would probably say she was stalking them!).
Social media has definitely changed the way we interact with people—both personally and professionally. But one of the biggest changes social media has brought about is how we network.
In my book “The Power of Polite,” I site this example: When meeting new people, would you jump into a conversation without introducing yourself? Would you consistently talk about yourself without any regard for others around you? Of course, you wouldn’t – and the same rules apply when connecting with people through social media as they would when connecting in person.
When connecting with people online, keep these five business etiquette tips in mind:
Have a professional presence. If you’re on Twitter, you’ve seen the “egg.” Those profiles that haven’t put a professional photo in their profile are left with the default “egg” to identify them on Twitter. Whether you’re on Twitter, Facebook or LinkedIn, update your profile to include a professional photo and up-to-date bio that demonstrates your passion and area of expertise. On LinkedIn, your professional headline is important, so make sure it shares more than just your job title—express your full competency.
Introduce yourself. One of the best ways to introduce yourself on social media is by sharing useful content. This is a great way to grab the attention of those you want to reach. On Twitter, retweeting other people’s updates is a form of acknowledgement. Simply by being social (on social media) will get you noticed and you will begin to make connections.
Be real. LinkedIn is a great place to connect with business professionals, but one of the biggest mistakes I see people make is connecting with people by sending out the default message LinkedIn provides. When inviting a business connection, add a personal message with the invitation. Something like, “Hello George. It enjoyed meeting you at the business luncheon at Ted’s Restaurant last week. I’d love to add you as a professional connection here on LinkedIn.”
Listen. Whether it’s real life, or online, building connections has more to do with listening and engaging than it does with talking about you, you, and you. Choose key people you want to connect with and listen to what interests them and jump in where there is an opportunity to provide value.
Show your gratitude. When someone shares your content, or provides feedback on one of your social networks, always say “thank you.” Not only is this good etiquette, it is a great way to connect with a fan or follower and engage in a further discussion.
Whether you’re connecting with people online or in person, knowing how to present yourself in a way that sets you apart from your competition is key to success.
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged social media etiquette, LinkedIn, business communication
November 16, 2012
When it comes to tipping, even the most seasoned travelers can be unsure. What you believe to be a generous tip can be perceived as an insult in certain countries. And in still others, offering a gratuity can be construed as rude.
Knowing when to tip and how much to tip can be a bit of a struggle if you’re unprepared. Before you embark on your holiday excursion abroad, take a few moments to review these “around the globe” tips on tipping.
According to Conde Nast Traveler, never leave a tip on a credit card. Your server may or may not necessarily receive it.
In France, the locals usually tip up to 10 percent when dining out—in addition to standard service charges noted on their bill. Visitors, however, are not expected to tip unless the service is excellent.
In most parts of the U.K., service charges are included. If not, then a 10 to 15 percent tip is appreciated. If you are “regular” in the pub, it’s not unusual to say to your bartender “Take one for yourself,” when you are paying for your drinks (ie. Pour one for yourself and add it to my bill.). In the past, the bartender would probably have replied, “Don’t mind if I do,” and joined you in a beer. Today, he would likely have a coke or take the cash and put it in a beer mug next to the cash register!
In Switzerland, most places include a 15 percent service charge on the bill. No additional tip is expected, but in fancier restaurants, or if you receive excellent service, leaving an additional small tip is acceptable.
When dining in Germany, adding a 10-15 percent tip to a food or bar bill is customary.
In Italy, leaving a tip as close to 10 percent is acceptable, but no more.
At restaurants in Turkey, a 10 percent cash tip is appreciated.
In Australia, it’s customary to leave a 10 to 15 percent tip for good service.
In the Middle East, those who provide services tend to reach out for a tip more often, but its customary to tip in small amounts.
In Dubai, you’ll find a 10 percent service charge tacked onto your bill at hotels, restaurants and bars. Typically the tip is divided among the staff.
In Egypt, expect to pay an additional 5 to 10 percent on top of the 5 to 10 percent charge that is already built into the bill. Dollars are often the preferred currency.
At restaurants in Israel, the tip is typically included in the bill, but it’s customary to add a few shekels to the total bill. At your hotel, tip the concierge a shekel or two if the service is excellent; and expect to pay six shekels per bag for porters and four shekels per day for housekeepers.
When dining out in Argentina, it’s customary to round up and add a 10 percent tip. Dollars are recommended and it’s a good idea to keep a lot of change in your wallet as restaurants and shops are not keen on breaking bills.
In Brazil, no additional tips are expected in restaurants, as it’s included in the 10 percent fee.
If you’re dining out in Mexico, be sure to have cash on hand as it’s the preferred method for tipping. Ten to 15 percent is customary. Dollars are accepted, but pesos are preferred.
In South Korea, the only tip expected of tourists is for your hotel porter. Tip the usual $1 per bag.
Travelers to Japan and China are not expected to tip at all—except for in Hong Kong where a 10 percent tip is acceptable. Leaving a tip can be construed as offensive in these countries as it implies that the employee is undervalued by their employer.
Knowing the etiquette for tipping when traveling abroad will save you time, money and maybe even a little embarrassment!
Sources: Conde Nast Traveler; Mint.com.
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Posted by Margaret in Dining Etiquette and tagged dining etiquette, tipping etiquette
November 2, 2012
No matter what business you’re in, chances are you’re going to be invited to your fare share of meetings. Adhering to the proper etiquette for business meetings will establish respect among the other participants, and ensure that the meeting is productive for everyone.
Here are a few business meeting etiquette tips to keep in mind:
- When invited to a business meeting, RSVP in a timely manner.
- Be punctual.
- Come prepared with pen and paper, and any other materials you will need for the meeting.
- Turn off your cell phone. If you’re expecting an important call, set your phone on vibrate and quietly excuse yourself if the call comes in during the meeting.
- Avoid side conversations during the meeting. Very distracting to the presenter and other attendees.
- Speak only when you have the floor. Ask questions during the designated question period and raise your hand to be recognized by the chairperson.
- Keep your questions brief and on topic. Ask only one question at a time to allow others to contribute to the conversation.
- Listen carefully to the presenter and take notes.
- Avoid fidgeting, tapping your pen, drumming your fingers, or shifting papers around during the meeting.
- Attend the entire meeting. Leaving the meeting before it is adjourned—unless you have alerted the chair beforehand – is disruptive to the other attendees and the speaker.
- Respond to action items. Once the meeting has ended, complete any tasks assigned to you as quickly as possible.
When attending your next meeting, make sure your attention is laser-focused on the topic at hand and what you need to accomplish. Don’t let distractions get in the way.
Do you have a meeting nightmare to share? We’d love to hear about it! Share with us in the comments below.
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged business meeting etiquette
October 23, 2012
Communication and relationship building are the lifeblood of business, and how you relate to others is what etiquette is all about. More and more companies understand that in order to gain a competitive advantage they need people on their team who can handle themselves in social and professional situations. In addition to having employees who are good at what they DO (hard skills), they need employees who possess strong soft skills.
Soft skills refer to those personal qualities, habits, attitudes and social graces that make you an easy person to be around, and work with.
Some of the most common soft skills employers are seeking and will be assessing you on include:
- Good communication skills
– In today’s digital age, we’re so accustomed to communicating virtually – through text messages and short emails – that we have less opportunity to stretch our verbal and nonverbal communication muscles. Having the power to effectively communicate with anyone will help you build collaborative relationships, gain a competitive advantage and grow your business.
- Positive attitude – Nobody wants to work with a “Debbie Downer!” Having a positive attitude is an important soft skill to have. Being optimistic and upbeat will get you noticed—in a good way!
- Strong work ethic
- Being motivated and dedicated to “getting the job done” is a trait that will help you stand out next to your competition. Looking for a promotion? Showcasing your ability to conquer any situation, no matter what, is something higher-ups are paying attention to.
- Good manners and social etiquette – Good manners are not passé. Give yourself the “etiquette edge” and distinguish yourself from the competition.
- Time management abilities – Knowing how to organize and prioritize tasks – and use your time wisely – is something you will benefit from both personally and professionally. To business owners, time = money.
- Problem-solving skills
– Are you resourceful? Able to creatively solve problems that arise? Being a good leader depends on being to effectively manage a crisis and provide solid solutions.
- Ability to be a team player
– I’m sure you’ve been asked this question at every interview, but it’s an important one. Being able to work independently is great, but collaborating with different personalities often poses a challenge for some. Knowing how to cooperate—and take the lead is crucial.
- Self-confidence / self-awareness
- Sounds like a “no-brainer,” but if you don’t believe in yourself, you’ll be hard pressed to convince others of your abilities.
- Ability to accept and learn from criticism – This one is tough for many, but master this skill and you’ll reap the rewards, both in growing as an individual and a professional. Never stop learning!
- Flexibility / adaptability
- The one constant is this: CHANGE. Being able to change course and embrace challenges – and be open to new ideas – is a soft skill that isn’t always easy to master, but will set you apart from your peers.
- Working well under pressure – You’re bound to be in stressful situations – handle it with grace and you’re sure to stand out.
To advance your professional life, spend some time mastering your soft skills.
For more business etiquette tips, check out my etiquette training and teleseminars. Or download a copy of “The Power of Polite: A Guide to Etiquette in Business.“
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged business etiquette, soft skills
October 12, 2012
Do you travel a lot? It’s all so relative isn’t it? What’s considered a lot by my cousins in the Netherlands is not a lot by North American standards. My cousins take a coffee break if they have to drive for 90 minutes! Perhaps that speaks more to the stage of develop of the culture rather than the geographic distance that needs to be covered.
In Europe I believe the focus is more on relationships, when it comes to how they spend their time. In North America in spite of Gen Y’s efforts, the primary focus is building and maintaining wealth…which, of course keeps our pace steady at GO, GO, GO!
Over the last the last few years I have traveled a mile or two. And while I have had the opportunity to stay at many glamorous hotels, and some not so glamorous (thanks Isabelle for taking care of the mice), my favorite way to travel is to stay as a guest in someone’s home. It’s certainly a far better way to learn about the people you are engaging with.
And no one treats guests better than Jonellen and Lou Heckler. When I arrived at their home for a weekend of coaching recently, there was a plaque on the front door that read: “Welcome Margaret.” My suite (yes bedroom, bathroom and sitting area) also had my name on the door. They had everything you would expect at a five-star hotel: packaged quality soap, shampoos, body lotion and even toothpaste (just in case I forgot mine). Everything was sparkling clean and inviting.
Uncertainty makes people feel uncomfortable—and your job as a host or hostess is to reduce that uncertainty. When you are entertaining house guests, let them know exactly what will be happening over the duration of their stay.
The most welcoming thing to say to guests is, “Make yourself comfortable. Make yourself at home.”
Seven things to consider when having houseguests:
- Ask your guests about their food likes and dislikes before they arrive and be prepared to have items in your pantry that fit your guests needs.
- Provide fresh linens and toiletries, such as toilet paper and tissues.
- Give guidance on where to put things like wet towels, especially if it’s a shared bathroom.
- Make sure there is a trash can available in the guest bathroom or bedroom.
- Put a night-light in the hall or rest room so guests can easily find their way at night.
- Agree on a time to be up in the morning and the options at breakfast. Have healthy snacks and fresh fruits easily available for guests. Your guests may feel uneasy about rummaging through your fridge or cupboard to find an afternoon snack (even if you’ve told them to help themselves!)
- If there are kids visiting and you have valuable items that are at risk of being damaged, put them away before your guests arrive.
Bonus:
Ask your guest if they felt something else could be added to the guest rooms to make their overnight stay more comfortable. Jonellen has received great ideas from this request – including things like a lint roller to an ironing board and iron.
Do you have tips for entertaining houseguests you’d like to share? What are some things that hosts should avoid? Let me know in the comments section below!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette
September 24, 2012
It is estimated that more than half the meaning of our communication is transmitted through body language. Before we created words to communicate with each other, we used movements and gestures to communicate what we wanted.
Iconic actress Mae West said it best with this quote: “I speak two languages, Body and English.” The communication we convey with a hand gesture or a nod of the head is more powerful than we realize.
Our body language sends a message to the person we’re talking to, saying things like: “I’m bored and uninterested,” or “I’m interested and excited to be here” for example. No matter what words you use, your body language will always give you away. The body doesn’t lie.
Finishing the sentence
Just as we can’t form a verbal sentence with just one word (except for “go”), the meaning of a conversation can’t be derived simply from one bit of body language. We must look at the entire non-verbal communication to complete the sentence and read the message correctly.
So what kind of things can you do to ensure that a positive message is being conveyed?
Not sure what you’re “saying” with your body language? One way to find out is to evaluate yourself in the mirror – or videotape yourself having a conversation with someone. Ask yourself “How would I view someone who looks, talks, and acts as I do?” Then, adjust accordingly!
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged business etiquette tips, body language, personal appearance
September 13, 2012
This week we have a guest blog post from Dr. Loren Ekroth.
Pollinate definition: To transfer pollen from a stamen to a pistil; fertilization in flowering plants.
Pollination helps both co-(mutually) evolve.
Without bees and butterflies, no pollination. Without pollination, no flowering, no honey or corn.
Network definition: To meet people who might be useful to know, especially in your job.
Many business and professional meetings set aside a time for “networking” during which attendees chat and exchange business cards.
Pollination adds some of value to both participants. The pollinator gets a reward such as nectar for pollinating the plant.
An example by George Bernard Shaw of humans “pollinating each other.”
“If I give you an apple and you give me an apple, we both have an apple. But if I give you an idea and you give me an idea, we both have 2 ideas.”
Both prosper by gaining a new idea.
However, for such human pollination to work, both must be receptive to the transaction. Also, people who interact only with those with the same ideas do not grow.
However, when those interacting are diverse, both can gain. For example, an artist and an engineer, a realtor and a teacher, a Catholic and a Jew.
(Two practical applications of “cross-fertilization” occur in small Mastermind groups composed of a mix of people supporting one another and in “Knowledge Cafes” where participants periodically move to other tables to share what they’ve learned.)
My late friend Anne Boe, co-author of “Is Your Net Working?” was clear that participants should “give without an expectation that doing so will reap an immediate reward.” Instead, she recommended that you give because it’s the right thing to do.
Some ways to “pollinate” include
- Sharing useful ideas
- Validating others – expressing enthusiasm, making introductions.
As psychologist Robert Cialdini described in his classic book, “Influence,” the principle of reciprocity is powerful. When we give a gift, compliment a person, or do them a favor, the receiver usually feels a need to reciprocate, if not immediately, then later on.
In today’s article I drew upon nature, mainly biology, to find a new paradigm for relating to others. In short, it is this: When we do more than connect, when we add something that gives more vitality to those we connect with, everybody gains, everybody wins.
From “Better Conversations” newsletter, April 4, 2012, by Dr. Loren Ekroth. .© 2012. Reprinted with permission. Loren Ekroth is founder of “Better Conversation Week,” and related community events. To subscribe to his complimentary newsletter, visit www.conversationmatters.com.
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Posted by Margaret in Communication and tagged networking
September 4, 2012
Last week I was attending an event and saw a very attractive baldheaded gentleman standing across the room. I went over, smiled and introduced myself to him. He smiled back and made a sweeping gesture with his index finger across his teeth and said, “Do this.” Yes, you guessed it — I had lipstick on my teeth! Talk about embarrassing! Instead of dazzling him with my smile – he saw red! Red teeth that is!! I was caught with lipstick smeared on my teeth! Not the impression I was trying to make. Especially in a business setting!
Even though I was mortified, I was also grateful that he felt comfortable enough to tell me that I was walking around with lipstick-smudged teeth!
If you encounter someone with lipstick on her teeth, return the favor. Discreetly inform them of the smudge.
How to avoid the colorful smile
First impressions are important, especially if you’re in a business setting. My advice, to avoid being left “red-in-the-face” when meeting with a new client or mingling at a networking event is to take a few moments and do a mirror check before you enter the room. Check that there’s nothing stuck in your teeth, and test to make sure your lipstick isn’t going end up on your teeth!
To ensure that you haven’t applied too much lipstick – which is the main reason we end up with some of it smeared on our teeth – you’ll need to perform the Finger Test. Follow these steps before you leave the house!
- Wash your hands with soap and water.
- Stick your index finger into your mouth as if you were pointing to the back of your throat.
- Close your lips around the base of your finger.
- Pull your finger out of your mouth while keeping your lips pursed around your finger.
- Wash your hands.
This is a really common technique for making sure that excess lipstick doesn’t migrate to your front teeth.
So, how do we avoid getting lipstick on our teeth, ladies? I’ve also hear that applying a thin layer of petroleum jelly works. What do you think? Do you have a trick?
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged first impressions, business etiquette
July 30, 2012
Creating a LinkedIn profile, and knowing how to interact with your connections, isn’t always as simple as it seems. The information you include—or exclude—could affect your career growth, as well as your overall professional identity online.
The social network is a great place to showcase your achievements and build a network of professional contacts, but there are definitely some etiquette dos and don’ts to follow to ensure you are presenting yourself in the most positive light.
Follow these tips to avoid LinkedIn etiquette blunders!
DO:
- Include a profile picture. Investing in a photographer to take professional headshots is worth the investment. It’s the first thing people notice when they visit your LinkedIn profile.
- Complete your profile. Add your professional info, website address, honors and awards, interests, groups, etc. Also include widgets to pull in content such as your reading list, events, and your business blog.
- Give and receive recommendations. Utilize the recommendations feature to request endorsements from business contacts. While it’s great to be recognized, it’s important that you also recommend others. In good LinkedIn etiquette: what goes around—comes around.
- Join groups. LinkedIn allows you to connect with people who are in the same group as you are. But don’t just join: contribute and add value.
- Post regular status updates. Updating your LinkedIn status is a great way to stay on your network’s radar.
- Tailor your messages. When inviting someone to your network, take the time to personalize your message. Within a few seconds you can include a personal note to a contact that replaces the auto-generated “I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn).
Don’t:
- Don’t add people you don’t know. While it’s great to have a large professional network, requesting a connection to a stranger will devalue the real connections you have. Add only the people you truly have a real connection with—whether you’ve been introduced in person or online.
- Don’t post an inappropriate photo. LinkedIn is not Facebook and humorous photos are not appropriate in your profile. Keep it professional.
- Don’t overlook grammar and spelling. LinkedIn is a great place to promote yourself and misspelled words are not going to make your personal brand shine.
- Don’t use automated invites. Add a personal message to the invitation.
- Don’t be spammy. This should go without saying, but avoid posting over-promotional comments on your LinkedIn page. LinkedIn is not the venue for peddling your latest product.
- Don’t ask for LinkedIn endorsements from people you don’t know. In real life, it would be a strange networking move to ask for a testimonial from a stranger. The same applies here.
From “The Power of Polite: A Guide to Etiquette in Business.”
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged business etiquette, networking, social media etiquette, LinkedIn
July 19, 2012
We’ve all experienced one of those awkward moments when meeting a business associate and you extend your hand, just as they move in for the hug (or vice a versa)—and then there’s this awkward, jerking-movement where one of you pull back and then each of you mimic the others’ first move.
Sound familiar? It’s a chicken-dance moment that will definitely throw both of you off guard!
To hug or not to hug –that IS the question.
Here are my thoughts on the subject.
First, it’s important to note that the way you greet someone in a business situation is often an indication of the relationship that the two of you share…
For example, have you known the person for a long time? Are you friends outside of the business arena? There’s a comfort zone that is obvious to both individuals that makes a quick hug more appropriate, even in a business setting.
And then there’s the setting. What if their boss is present when you meet with them? No matter how well you know the person, a handshake may be the better choice in this situation. The first rule of thumb of manners is “always make people feel comfortable.”
If you’re meeting with someone in the rain, opt for the handshake and take your meeting indoors. Who wants to hug someone who is wet?
In the business world, there are definitely industries where hugging is more – or less– accepted as a greeting between clients or business professionals. You will see less hugging in the legal, banking or accounting arena, whereas the more artistic industries—personal care industries like film making, restaurant, wine producing, and beauty industries – people are more likely to greet you with a hug.
Of course, there are also geographic and cultural considerations when it comes to greetings. From my personal experience, hugging is more prevalent on the west coast than the east coast of America. And in Japan they are teaching how to correctly hug in “Doing business in America” classes. Maybe it’s something we should be learning as well? Put your left hand here …
What do you think? Are you a big-time hugger? Or do you prefer to only greet people with a hand shake in a business setting? This is a great topic for conversation as we also have our own personal boundaries. Our comfort zone. I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences with hugging in the business world!
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette
I have a friend who shared with me recently that one of the ways she keeps up with what’s going on in the lives of her four grown children is by checking their Facebook and Twitter profiles. She knows where her son—who is away at college—is spending his time most days because she sees his Foursquare check-ins pop up on his Facebook page! My friend feels more at ease by having a little glimpse into their daily lives (even though her children would probably say she was stalking them!).
