Latest "Etiquette Edge" Posts
September 23, 2013
We receive this etiquette question often, so we thought we would reach out to our readers to get your feedback. Both men and women alike are asking “Should men open the car door for a woman?”
We’re reaching out to you, our readers to get your feedback on the topic! Take a few moments – both men and women, alike – and take our quick poll. Feel free to add your comments here on the blog and let’s see where this conversation takes us!
Thanks for your help! (Be sure to share with your friends!)
For the Gentlemen
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For the Ladies
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette
August 16, 2013
I was talking to a copywriter friend the other day and the topic of business referrals came up. She was telling me a story about how she recently received a message on LinkedIn that said “Good morning Courtney. I am looking for a copywriter to help me with some press releases and George Lukas referred you to me. I look forward to hearing from you soon.”
My first impression was that this was good news. Who wouldn’t be happy with getting a referral for a new business opportunity? But as I listened to the experiences Courtney has had in the past with these types of referrals, it really made me wonder how valuable recommendations and referrals are in business today.
Let me explain.
Courtney shared with me, first, that she had never even worked with George Lukas – the gentleman who referred her—and so, George had no real insight into the way Courtney worked with clients. He had simply searched through his LinkedIn connections to find someone who he felt fit the bill and sent her name out as a referral. In these situations, in the past, Courtney has found these referrals to be frustrating and counterproductive, both to her and to the person who was given the referral because it’s more of a shot-in-the-dark that the connection is a good fit. And it has no reflection on the quality of work that Courtney provides in her specific niche.
Obviously, George thought he was being a nice guy – helping out both of the parties by connecting them—but without having worked with Courtney, he couldn’t really give an honest assessment of whether she was the “right” person for the job.
This leads me to the question: Are personal recommendations losing their value because we can so liberally extend “skill” endorsements to people we have never even worked with?
If employers use LinkedIn endorsements as a gauge, are they really able to find candidates that fit the bill? Or is it now more of a popularity contest? Those with the most LinkedIn endorsements win?
Although I know that company recruiters are looking at LinkedIn as a source for job applicants, I have to believe that they, like me, take LinkedIn endorsements with a grain of salt.
If you really want to stand out from your competitors, take the time to seek out honest-to-goodness business referrals. Reach out to coworkers, former supervisors, or clients you have worked with and ask for a recommendation. A letter of recommendation, that shares specific information about your unique skills, is still the best way to get your foot in the door for a job interview, or land a new project.
I still use the recommendation I received from my kindergarten teacher when pitching an etiquette seminar to a new client: “Margaret Page is a very enthusiastic little girl. She’s a very good listener…and loves to chat. And chat. And chat. Margaret will make a wonderful speaker one day. :)”
Seriously, when asking for a personal recommendation, on LinkedIn for example, follow these tips:
- Seek out at least 10 people on LinkedIn you have worked with who can recommend you.
- Don’t wait too long. As soon as you leave a company, reach out for recommendations as soon as possible. This way your experience working with that individual is fresh in their mind.
- Be specific. Ask the person to recommend you for something specific that you have worked on together, like a big project. If you don’t, you might end up with a generic recommendation like “Margaret was a delightful person to work with.”
- Say “thank you.” When you receive a recommendation on LinkedIn, you are prompted to return the favor. Only reciprocate the gesture if you really are comfortable recommending the person. Either way, be sure to send a note of thanks after you receive any recommendations, LinkedIn or otherwise.
We would love to get your thoughts on recommendations. If you’re a hiring manager or a recruiter, do you read recommendations on LinkedIn? How much value do you place on recommendations and referrals today?
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged linkedin recommendations, referral etiquette
August 8, 2013
I was at the doctor’s office the other day, pleasantly flipping through the spring issue of a home and garden magazine, when my quiet moment was “hijacked” by another patient sitting across the room. There were about 20 people in the waiting room—all of us sitting quietly, waiting our turn. The key word here is … “quietly.” There were two children waiting for their grandmother, who were sitting ever-so-quietly—the young boy was playing with a Gameboy or some other handheld electronic device and the little girl, who couldn’t have been more than four, was happily coloring in her coloring book. The waiting room was… as expected…quiet.
And then the hijacking occurred.
I literally jumped, as I was absorbed in the article I was reading, when I heard this (very loudly) echo across the room: “What ethnicity am I? I know what race I am, but the papers they want me to fill out ask me for my ethnicity? So would you say I’m European? Should I put that? And what about my medication? I know I take X medication and Y medication, and then for my arthritis I take that Z medication, but what is it I take for the irritable bowel again?”
I glanced around the room to see that I wasn’t the only one who had their heads lifted, glancing (some glaring) at the woman in the center of the room who was practically yelling into her cell phone. She was filling out paperwork for the doctor and proceeded to go through every single question with the recipient on the other end of the phone. This went on for close to 15 minutes. When she was through with the form, she stayed on the phone to spill a little gossip about the lady who lives behind her who, in her words, “is always flaunting her wares up and down her driveway… why she can’t put on some clothes to get her mail is beyond me. It just ain’t right. Is it? I mean, she has grown teenagers and she walks around all…” Well, you get he picture. All 19 of us were subjected to this story…whether we wanted to be privy to it or not.
Our privacy—our silence—was hijacked!
I am sure every single one of you reading this has a story of being hijacked. Whether it’s in a doctor’s office, grocery store or in an elevator—there are so many people who don’t recognize that their conversations are hijacking the personal space of others.
In a recent study, published in the journal of PLoS One, college kids who were asked to complete anagrams while a nearby researcher talked on her cellphone were more irritated and distracted—and far more likely to remember the contents of the conversation. The study is part of growing research on why cell phones rank so high on the list of modern day irritants.
So what do we do to solve this? We would love to hear your thoughts, and your experiences. Let’s start a movement to “stop the hijacking!”
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Posted by Margaret in Communication and tagged cell phone etiquette, cell phone abuse, hijacking personal space
August 1, 2013
Not only do we need an attitude of gratitude but we also need to acknowledge our gratitude for “attitude.” Those people on your team who are enthusiastic and upbeat to work with deserve to be recognized for the value of their attitude.
Having an “attitude of gratitude”—whether it’s with your employees, coworkers, or clients– is a powerful tool in business. A recent study by Bersin & Associates underscores the bottom-line implications of saying thank you in the workplace. The study reveals that companies that have employee recognition programs are 12 times more likely to enjoy strong business results. Now, that’s a powerful number!
Sadly, however, only 20 percent of organizations are paying attention to the value of this model—and they’re missing out on a huge opportunity to nurture business relationships.
It’s very easy to take people for granted— we can get so busy in all we want to accomplish we sometimes lose awareness of what’s going on with the people around us and forget to acknowledge them.
If you’re a business owner or a manager, take note, a word of appreciation given to someone who went above and beyond on a project tells that person that you notice his or her efforts. And that matters.
Thanks for the Attitude!
When giving praise, it’s easier to acknowledge a person’s accomplishments when they’re tangible. Completing a big project. Winning a new client for the company. Meeting year-end personal goals. All of these are cause for recognition, but we don’t always give praise to those around us who make our jobs easier—just by the way they handle themselves on projects and tasks.
It’s inspiring to work with people who are oozing with positivity and excitement, and that attitude needs to be recognized (as it’s often rare!) It makes such a difference to everyone on the team when you are working with people who are enthusiastic. Who wants to work with a Debbie-downer day in and day out?
So, be sure to recognize that positive attitude – because the alternative attitude is not much fun. :-]
A sincere thank you isn’t just good manners—it’s good business.
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Posted by Margaret in Communication and tagged giving praise, gratitude attitude
June 25, 2013
As business professionals struggle to differentiate themselves from their competition, manners are more important than ever. How you present yourself matters–and sometimes it’s the little things we do that cast a negative cloud over us. These etiquette blunders can be very damaging to our professional relationships.
Have you ever left a voicemail for a business contact after hours — knowing full well that person was unavailable to speak with you? Clearly, you were trying to avoid talking to that person! You know it–and trust me, they know it too.
This is a great example of a business etiquette blunder.
I’ve put together a list of a few top etiquette blunders to avoid. I’d love for you to share your experiences with us. Add your top business etiquette pet peeve(s) to the list! Just click the button to add your own!
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged top business etiquette blunders
June 14, 2013
Happy Flag Day! Today, Friday, June 14, Flag Day is celebrated in the United States. Flag Day commemorates the adoption of the American flag June 14, 1777. Though not an official holiday, celebrating the day when the Continental Congress adopted the Stars and Stripes has been a long and honored tradition for most U.S. citizens. Parades and parties are planned, and across the country you’ll see the American flag displayed proudly outside of homes and businesses.
With the day fast approaching, I thought this might be a good time to take a look at the rules for respectfully displaying the American flag. The Flag Code—the official rules for displaying the flag–covers all kinds of specific situations, but are governed by one basic principle: the flag is one of the most visible and important symbols of the country and should be treated with respect.
Some general flag etiquette guidelines include:
- When displaying the flag outdoors, it should be suspended vertically, with the union to the north in an east and west street or to the east in a north and south street.
- The flag, when carried in a procession with another flag or flags, should be either on the marching right, or, if there is a line of other flags, in front of the center of that line.
- The flag should not be draped over the hood, top, sides, or back of a car. If flag is displayed on a car, it is to be firmly attached to the chassis.
- No part of the flag should touch the ground. When lowered from a staff, it must be held and then neatly folded and stored.
- The flag code allows for flying the flag upside down only “as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property.”
Wondering how to properly fold a flag? Here’s a great visual that walks you through the steps.
Happy Flag Day to all of my American friends!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged flag day
June 11, 2013
In the first part of our global etiquette tips series, we talked about the highly publicized cultural faux pas made by Microsoft tycoon, Bill Gates. His one-handed shake “shook up” the Korean culture.
Even if you’re a seasoned traveler – or a billionaire – the most subtle of misunderstandings in cultural differences can cause a stir. Differences in things as simple as office etiquette and opinions on the correct level of business formality can cause tensions.
When doing business globally, it’s important to remember that the expressions we use in the Western world may mean something entirely different in another country. Did you know, for example, that when the Japanese use the expression “sitting near the window,” they are referring to employees the company is retiring?
Here are some other global business etiquette and customs to consider:
In the Middle East, the right hand is the only hand used for eating as the left hand is reserved for bodily hygiene and is considered unclean. Shaking hands or handing an item to someone with one’s left hand is considered an insult.
When in Greece, Turkey or Bulgaria, note that shaking your head to indicate a negative response means the opposite!
In Japan, it’s best to avoid wrapping gifts in red or white as the as the color is associated with funerals and weddings. In China, red is considered lucky, so a good choice for gift wrapping, but skip the white paper as white is used in funeral and connotes death.
Also note the following dining customs when doing business in Asia:
Don’t rest your chopsticks vertically in your rice bowl. Stowing chopsticks in this way is considered impolite. The sight of two upright chopsticks in a bowl is a harbinger of death as it’s reminiscent of the incense sticks that the Chinese traditionally burn in veneration of loved ones.
If you’re dining with a group of people, a good rule of thumb is to order dishes equivalent to the number of people in your party, plus one. Makes sense as you want to ensure you have enough food. But if you’re in China, and the number of people in your group is an even number, this formula will put you at an odd number of dishes—which is a ‘no-no’ in the country. An odd number of dishes symbolizes death.
Exploring the world, whether for business or for pleasure, is such a wonderful way to be exposed to new and exciting cultures. Before you pack your bags, make an effort to learn a little about the culture and customs of the people you’re visiting. They will value you all the more for your efforts, and you’ll avoid Bill Gates moment!
Would love to hear about your travels. Share with us in the comments below!
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Posted by Margaret in International Etiquette
May 24, 2013
In the words of Mark Twain,
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
Well, I’m with Mr. Twain! When I receive a compliment — and when I give a compliment – it brightens my day!
When we pay a compliment to another person, we not only add some brightness to their day, but it makes us feel good as well. A compliment is a two-way gift that benefits the giver and receiver alike.
What’s interesting is that despite being a positive (mood-lifting) gesture, compliments can be difficult to give and even more difficult to accept. Women tend to have an especially difficult time accepting compliments – deflecting the positive attention by calling attention to something negative as a response, instead of smiling and simply saying “thank you.”
What about you?
Do you remember the last time someone gave you a compliment? How did you react? Did you brush it off, bat it back at the person, or did you accept it gracefully?
When was the last time you extended a compliment to someone? How was it received? And how did it make you feel to give the compliment?
Take our poll and let’s discover some insight into how people feel about giving and receiving compliments.(Link: Click here to take survey) or complete below.
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged compliments
May 17, 2013
Last week I posted an article for employees called “How to Navigate Social Media: For Employers,” that provided some basic guidance on how to create a social media policy for business owners. This week, I’ve changed gears and am sharing some etiquette tips for employees who are using social media both for personal use and in business.
We live in a world where social media plays a prominent role as a channel of communication. We connect with friends, family, colleagues–and even people we don’t know personally. The ability to share information, any time, anywhere, and with anyone around the world is amazing–but with that ability comes responsibility. What you post on social media sites is out there — forever.
Something you may not have considered is this: When you post content on social media sites –even your personal Facebook or Twitter accounts–it can affect your job, as well as the public perception of the company you work for.
It’s dangerous to assume that only your personal friends and family are seeing the content you post online. If you post it on the web, you can guarantee someone will find it—and they may or may not be directly connected to you.
Use your common sense. A good rule of thumb is this: If you wouldn’t say it loudly, in front of your mother, you shouldn’t say it on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn or any other social media site.
Having said that, there are definitely some things you can do today to make sure you’re not violating social media ethics set out by your company:
- Double check privacy settings on all your social media platforms. Facebook tends to set things for you – as a default – and it’s important that you check in on the settings from time to time to make sure you’re sharing only what you want to share.
- Google yourself. Yes, set up a Google alert to track mentions of your name.
- Think twice before sharing personal gripes about your workplace on any social media network. It’s just not appropriate, or professional. Your privacy settings may be just fine, but common sense dictates that many of your online “friends” have little or no privacy protection on their own page—opening your comment up for public view. Also, anyone can do a simple “copy, paste and repost”—landing you in hot water with your company.
- Refrain from discussing any information that:
- is derogatory
- is confidential or proprietary
- may be valuable to a competitor, such as product launch dates or pending reorganizations, etc.
Be very familiar with your employer’s social media policy. Understand it, and take it seriously.
These 6 “Rs” of social media will help keep you focused on the business etiquette rules of social media use as an employee:
- Reasonable. Use reasonable etiquette online at all times– just as you would offline. If you like your job, avoid the use of profanity or sharing inappropriate photos online.
- Representation. Be clear about who you are, and who you represent online.
- Respect. Don’t share anything on social media that you wouldn’t share with the whole office—and your mother.
- Responsibility. Make sure you are not violating legal guidelines, or any other company-mandated policies about revealing proprietary company information.
- Restraint. Before you hit the send button, pause and reread. Whatever you post is out there forever—associated with your name. “Think before you tweet!”
- Remember. Familiarize yourself with your company’s social media policy. Keep it top of mind every time you share anything online.
“Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked.” ~ Warren Buffett
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged social media etiquette
May 13, 2013
Social media is everywhere… and whatever you share online is there forever. As the quote goes:
“The Internet’s not written in pencil, it’s written in ink.”
For companies who are new to jump on board the social media train, it can be a little overwhelming. More than ever, it’s important for employers to be in tune in to what’s being said
Managing your online reputation isn’t as cut-and-dry as it used to be. Your customers are online… and they’re talking about you, your products and your services. The good news is, just like the “fly on the wall,” you have the ability to listen to what’s being said—by everyone.
Through social media conversations, companies have an unprecedented ability to truly get involved in conversations and deepen relationships with customers. But where do you begin?
If companies are struggling to understand social media, it’s likely the direction they’ve given employees on social media use is also a little wishy-washy.
Although companies can’t control what’s being said about them on social media, they are entitled to regulate what employees say about their products—and who can speak on the company’s behalf on social media.
The first thing we advise companies to do, before they even begin to think about communicating through social media, is to create a social media policy for employees.
Whether these employees hold the keys to the corporate social media accounts, or use social media for their personal use—your employees need to be aware that they are representatives of your brand—and perception is everything.
At the very start of the process, be clear about what you expect from your employees when it comes to social media use. Set clear boundaries, especially if you want them to be part of your brand building process. Empower and encourage your employees to communicate, but give examples of things they should, and should not, communicate online.
By creating a solid social media policy, you can establish the standard of behavior you deem acceptable. Your social media policy should address:
- The extent of personal use that is permitted during work hours and on work devices.
- Boundaries for what kind of company information can (and cannot) be shared online.
- Whether or not employees are permitted to comment on issues related to the business, its employees or clients. Consider adding that personal posts made by employees must contain a disclaimer that the opinions expressed are solely their own.
- The extent of association to the employer in personal posts. Example: a policy may prohibit the use of work email addresses when employees set up profiles on social media sites.
- If the employee comments on any aspect of the company’s business, they must clearly identify themselves as an employee and include a disclaimer, such as “the opinions expressed are mine alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of “company name.”
- Copyright laws. With the abundance of free online media—like Google images, for example—it’s important to inform employees about the rules of use. Many people are unaware that the images displayed on Google may be protected by copyright. You don’t want to find yourself being served with legal documents!
- The use of company logos. Postings should not include company logos or trademarks unless permission granted.
- Engaging in debates or arguments online. When your employees engage in heated conversations online, it’s a reflection of your company—and shed it in a negative light. Include a statement such as “Do not engage in debates or share inflammatory comments in response to a negative communication about X company, its employees, or products.”
- How employees deal with customers. Identify specific ways employees engage and interact with customers online.
- Social media etiquette. Especially if an employee is posting as a representative of the company, it’s important that they know the social P’s and Q’s. Some obvious ones include language use (no profanity!)–but other social media etiquette dos and don’ts might include things like the number of times you reach out to clients to connect or the “tone of voice” to use. All communications are a direct reflection of your brand positioning, and it’s important that your employees understand that.
- That the company reserves the right to request the certain subjects are avoided, withdraw certain posts, and remove inappropriate comments.
- Consequences for breaching the social media policy standards.
When creating a social media policy you don’t have to reinvent the wheel, the Social Media Governance website has an online database of over 100 social media policies.
The best rule of thumb is to keep your social media policy as simple, but specific as possible so that it’s easily understood and interpreted by your employees.
Do you have a social media policy for your business? What tips do you have to share with employers?
photo credit: ransomtech via photopin cc
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Posted by Margaret in Business Etiquette and tagged social media etiquette for employers