Years ago I sat on a board with a lovely young lady who after washing her hands in the public restroom acted like a surgeon. Her hands would be freshly scrubbed and held in the air. She would use her elbows to push open the door or even urn the handle to exit the washroom. She had the right idea.I wonder why in this day and age of clever devices we still can’t go into a public restroom that is really focused on keeping germs to a minimum.
Let’s give credit where credit is do though — overall the Americans do a much better job than we Canadians do at providing toilet seat covers at public washrooms. In Canada we would be wise to deny business licenses to those that don’t provide seat covers to their guests.
A couple of the places that do exceptional jobs in the area of public hygiene include the Cactus Club and the Chicago airport. Both provide automated seat covers, and the toilets at the Cactus Club that flush by stepping on a button on the floor. Kudos to you for playing your part in keeping us healthy!
We need to also appreciate those businesses that have sanitizers outside restrooms to reduce the number of potential bacteria brought in and passed around.
Today, I want to know what your take is on bad manners. Take a look at the examples below and select the one etiquette faux pas that makes you cringe! Be sure to check the results this week to find out which etiquette mis-step takes the cake!
[polldaddy poll=5037233]
It was a pretty spring day on the Sunshine Coast. A perfect day for a stroll. I was quietly admiring the scenery, when a man—obviously late for a very important date—brushed past me. Without breaking stride, he turned his head to apologize, and that’s when it happened.
I was immediately overcome by the gift he left me as he hurried down the trail. The overpowering scent of his cologne stopped me in my tracks. There was nowhere to turn. There wasn’t even a breeze to help escort the scent away from me. It hung in the air like a balloon that was clinging to its last bit of air.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the scent of perfumes and colognes, but it was the pure volume of the scent that made me dizzy.
So, here are some tips that will ensure that you’re not “that guy.”
Use the Two-Foot Rule
Fragrance is a personal thing. It’s something you give those you allow to get close to you. Don’t give it away. Use restraint when applying your perfume or cologne. Spraying it in the air and walking through it is one tried-and-true way of ensuring you’re not going overdoing it.
Choose Scents that Complement You (and the occasion)
Your perfume should enhance your image, not distract people. During the day, choose a lighter scent, and save the heavier perfumes for evening.
Know When to Say No
The two places you should never wear perfume are hospitals and airplanes. And if you know you’re going to be around a lot of people in an enclose space, like a theatre, conference room or church, use discretion when applying your perfume. Remember “a little dab will do ya!”
Apply in Private
A lot of people have sensitivities to scent. Be considerate of other people—and their allergies—and don’t apply your perfume in a public place.
Don’t Compete
If you’re attending an event where a part of the experience is aroma—such as a cooking class or a wine tasting—ditch the perfume for the occasion. You won’t win any friends by bringing along your own special scent to a gourmet wine pairing. And it’s unlikely you’ll be invited back!
Following these fragrance etiquette tips should keep you in good standing with your friends and co-workers.
Do you have a story about a fragrance “assault” that you’d like to share? The woman on the plane next to you who freshened up her perfume while you were next to her? I’d love to hear it!
On a flight that took me through Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) en route to Canada, my fellow travelers and I were told to pick up our luggage and go through customs.
We made our way to the baggage-claim area and positioned ourselves around the luggage carousel, watching bag after bag tumble down the ramp. As the area filled up with travel-weary folks, people started peering over each others’ shoulders and jostling for position.
Granted, some of this is to be expected. After all, everyone there had just been on a long flight, and everyone was preoccupied with their own agenda.
As I stood there waiting and chatting with a new acquaintance, a late-comer arrived with two small children, a large, bulky backpack and a luggage rack in tow. He stood behind us, waiting to spot his bags, and every few minutes I heard him scold his son. “Stop running around and bumping into people!”
Within moments of saying this, he spotted his bags. Without a word, he pushed himself between my acquaintance and I, smashing his backpack into my arm as he reached for a bag. Turning, smashed into me again as he carried the bag to his cart.
Moments later he was back for the next bag, again pushing his way through without a word… until I heard him snap at the boy, “Stop it! You’re bumping into people left and right, and someone’s going to get hurt.”
Isn’t that the way it goes sometimes? We’re so concerned with the misdeeds of others that we develop a blind eye to our own ways. It’s not hypocrisy so much as a simple lack of awareness.
As I made my way to the next gate, rubbing my shoulder as I went, the wise words of Emily Post came to mind:
“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”
Do you have an etiquette lesson you’d like to share? Love t0 hear your story below!
You walk into a room and a friend approaches you and says, “Wow, you look fantastic! Love that color on you!” Or you’ve just given a presentation—one that you were probably sweating over for weeks—and your boss catches up to you after your big debut and says “Great job on the presentation. You really nailed it.”
What’s your first response? Do you immediately look away or start mumbling something about the weather?
Sound familiar?
When given a compliment most people brush it off, talk over it, or even argue the compliment by saying something like “Really? I’ve had this dress forever” or “I didn’t think so. I stuttered the whole time.”
Receiving a compliment, graciously, is one of the most difficult things for many people to do. Some will even deflect the compliment by making a joke of it, and that can be uncomfortable for the person giving the compliment.
So, the next time you receive a compliment, I want you to follow these 5 steps. If you do, I promise it will get easier and easier to accept a compliment – and it will make the compliment giver feel more inclined to “share the love” with other well-deserving friends who could use a pick-me-up from time to time.
When receiving a compliment, do the following:
Stop thinking and listen to what the person is saying to you. Don’t disregard or shoo away the words before he is finished. Let the compliment “giver” say what he wants to say.
Do not, for any reason, respond with negativity. Not even with a negative tone. By doing this, you are inadvertently disrespecting an act of kindness from that person.
The first thing you should say when you are given a compliment is: Thank you. Then, follow up with something that reflects the compliment the individual has given you. If your friend compliments you on how you look, say something like “Thank you. I just got this dress.” This will show not only that you are listening, but that you appreciate (and accept) the compliment.
When someone is giving you a compliment, look them in the eye when you respond. This shows engagement and true appreciation.
Don’t counter-compliment. It will come off as insincere. “You look great, too” doesn’t have the same effect when you’ve just received a compliment. Think about it. Tuck the counter-compliment away for another time.
Pass on the kindness. Every time you receive a compliment (I mean, REALLY receive it), think about how good it felt. How much it brightened your day. Think about how much you can impact another person’s day with a few simple words. Implement the “bounce back” mentality and make someone’s day – every day.
Although accepting a compliment can be tough, it can really make your day. Think about a time when you truly accepted a compliment. Didn’t your day seem lighter? Didn’t you walk just a little taller? Give yourself permission to feel good about yourself. And then, pass it on.
What’s the first thing you do when you receive a compliment? I’d love to know your thoughts. Share with us in the comments below!
Generations of children have cut their reading teeth on the simple rhymes of Dr. Suess. Who could forget “The Cat in the Hat,” or “Horton Hears a Who”? We’ve shared the endearing characters with our children and our grandchildren, knowing the whimsical stories, peppered with inspiration and insight, will live on in their memories, too.
MY own all-time favorite Dr. Seuss book is the last one he ever wrote. “Oh! The Places You’ll Go!” begins with the optimism and encouragement of great things to come with “Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to great places! You’re off and away!”
Those words, as it turned out, have been the catalyst to many life-changing events over the years. I didn’t know it at the time, but they gave me the courage to walk through many doors of opportunity that came my way.
” You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
Who soar to high heights. “
Sounds silly, I know, if you think too long about it, but who couldn’t use a little dose of Dr. Seuss motivation from time to time? Words of encouragement, cloaked in the form of lyrical rhymes might be just what you need to motivate you to move forward in your journey.
One such opportunity changed my life, drastically. I had been a member of Toastmasters for about a year – having attended simply to learn the art of public speaking—and I was invited to moderate a federal debate for an election. Gulp. My lips moved and I heard myself say “Yes!” without even a pause! The voice inside my head, however, was screaming, “No you can’t do that! You’ll make a fool of yourself and the Club!”
Well, thankfully, I ignored those whispers and I followed my instincts. “You CAN do this,” I told myself, drowning out the sound of self-doubt. “Yes, you can.” And I did.
There were loads of people in attendance, and the media was there. Yes, media! A television crew was eagerly waiting to broadcast all the mistake and missteps of my debut.
Looking out at the 350 people that filled the room, waiting for me to speak, I heard:
” You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
Any direction you choose. “
And since that day, I’ve never looked back. I conquered my fear, shook off any self-doubt, and discovered I loved it! Who knew how much I would enjoy speaking in front of crowds of people?
Stepping outside my comfort zone, and facing my fears, has opened up so many doors of opportunity for me. And the cherries on the top of it all, is the self-esteem and self-confidence I found through public speaking.
Just as Suess’ pajama-clad hero was up to the challenge, I, too, climbed my mountain—and life looks pretty awesome from up here!
” So . . . .
Be your name Buxbaum or Bixy or Bray
Or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
You’re off to Great Places!
Your mountain is waiting.
So….. get on your way! “
A special thanks to Heidi Cohen, who inspired this blog post, with her We Love Bloggers contest. It was great fun revisiting the magic that is still being shared by so many children around the world.
Even (and maybe “especially”) in a world where we communicate with quick texts and emails, the personal thank you card is still the best way to show your gratitude when someone gives you a gift.
But where do you start? What do you say?
Your personal note doesn’t have to be written on fancy paper, and you don’t have to have a degree in Journalism to find the right words to say. Don’t be intimidated. Be authentic. Be personal. Keep it simple.
Here are four key components to cover in your thank you note, to help you get you started:
In the first sentence, say “thank you for” and state the gift you’ve been given. Example: Thank you for the wine glasses you gave us for our anniversary.
Next, express a further detailed appreciation by remarking on qualities about the gift. Example: The glasses have already found a home on our dining room table. They look so elegant next to our everyday dishes!
Share specific reasons why you like the gift. Example: We love to entertain, and can’t wait to show them off the next time we have friends over for a wine and cheese get-together.
In the closing sentence, sign is pleasantly and friendly. And you can even add “Thanks again!” before your signature.
Don’t drag your feet…be sure to send out a personal thank you note within 48 hours of receiving a gift.
Gratitude will never be out of style, no matter how technically-advanced we become. Sending a personal note of thanks will not only let them know how much you appreciate the gift, but it also sends the message that you value the relationship enough to take the time to personalize your message.
Far better than being included in a group email of thanks, don’t you think?
If you think you’re the only one listening to the callers on cell phone or the music on your iPod… think again!
We tend to assume that ear buds, headphones and cell phones funnel sound directly to our eardrums, but in truth, a significant amount of sound escapes these channels, flowing freely into the environment around us.
This side-stream sound can easily annoy other people – or worse!
On Friday afternoon, Jason was carpooling home from a conference with several colleagues. It was nearly 5:00 pm when Jason’s phone rang; it was his wife calling, wondering when he would be home.
After a quick update, as they were about to end their call, Jason’s wife let him know just how much she was missing him with a spicy little comment that was clearly meant for his ears alone.
Unfortunately, her message reached more ears than she intended. Suddenly, everyone was blushing and looking out the window – everyone except Jason, who had no idea how many people knew about his very personal plans.
Here’s what else he didn’t know: One of the easiest ways to accidentally compromise confidentiality is to take a personal call in close proximity to someone else. As careful as you may be with your own words, your caller’s speech can easily reach those within a few feet of you. And in a small, closed environment such as an office or car, your unintended audience has no choice but to listen, like it or not!
Cell phones are not the only offender, though. As any frequent flyer can tell you, personal music players, portable games and movie players are just as guilty of earpiece sound leakage.
Gym-goers know it, too. We love to move to our own beat, but when we pump up the volume, it shouldn’t be any surprise when our immediate neighbors move elsewhere.
The key to conquering earpiece leakage: a little consideration – and distance! Lower your volume setting when around other people, and make sure you’re at least 10 feet away from an unsuspecting audience when you take personal calls.
These are such simple steps, but they can make such a big difference to those around you – and that, my dear reader, is the very essence of etiquette.
Common courtesy is still the best guideline for etiquette, in any arena, but with technology changing so fast, it can easily fall by the wayside.
Here are some simple rules to remember about e-mail etiquette.
1. Write a descriptive subject line so the recipient will know immediately where this matter fits in the larger picture.
2. Remember to include a greeting. It’s effortless, yet it makes a connection between writer and recipient.
3. Don’t waste people’s time. Think twice before choosing “reply to all” and delete any unnecessary information in forwarded messages (headers, addresses, etc.).
4. Always be respectful; e-mails are easily saved, shared and quoted in the future. If you feel the urge to write an emotionally charged message, go handle it in person.
5. Respond in a timely fashion – even if only to say, I can’t respond until (date).
It’s the little things that matter… but they really do matter! Remember, it only takes a moment to give yourself the Etiquette Edge.
Years ago I sat on a board with a lovely young lady who after washing her hands in the public restroom acted like a surgeon. Her hands would be freshly scrubbed and held in the air. She would use her elbows to push open the door or even urn the handle to exit the washroom. She had the right idea.I wonder why in this day and age of clever devices we still can’t go into a public restroom that is really focused on keeping germs to a minimum.
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