Well, I’m with Mr. Twain! When I receive a compliment — and when I give a compliment – it brightens my day!
When we pay a compliment to another person, we not only add some brightness to their day, but it makes us feel good as well. A compliment is a two-way gift that benefits the giver and receiver alike.
What’s interesting is that despite being a positive (mood-lifting) gesture, compliments can be difficult to give and even more difficult to accept. Women tend to have an especially difficult time accepting compliments – deflecting the positive attention by calling attention to something negative as a response, instead of smiling and simply saying “thank you.”
What about you?
Do you remember the last time someone gave you a compliment? How did you react? Did you brush it off, bat it back at the person, or did you accept it gracefully?
When was the last time you extended a compliment to someone? How was it received? And how did it make you feel to give the compliment?
Take our poll and let’s discover some insight into how people feel about giving and receiving compliments.(Link: Click here to take survey) or complete below.
Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world’s leading questionnaire tool.
Google recently announced that they are closing Google Reader on July 1, 2013. For those of you who are subscribed to our blog feed to stay on top of our business etiquette articles, here are a few options for you.
If you read your RSS feeds on different devices, or locations (at home, at work, on your iPad or laptop), stick to a web-based reader, similar to your current Google Reader. The hottest RSS feed reader replacement among users, especially since the Google announcement, appears to be Feedly. The default interface for Feedly is a little different than your Google Reader–more “newspaper-like,” but you do have the option to change the view of all category and feed pages in the settings. Lots of customization available, as well, with this reader.
Not a big fan of RSS readers? Most of our blog subscribers for Etiquette Page have signed up for updates via email. Just enter your email address in the box on the right side of our blog page and a notification will be sent to your inbox when a new blog article is posted on the website.
I think I covered it, for now. I hope you have enjoyed the posts we’ve been sharing these last few years.
We are eager to provide additional value to our readers in the months and years to come that will give you the tools to be more professional and win more business.
Please feel free to send me a note or post comment here on the blog if there is a business etiquette topic you’d like us to cover — or if you would like to share a story or ask an etiquette question. I love hearing from our readers!
International Women’s Day has been observed since the early 1900s. It was in 1908, more than 100 years ago, that 15,000 women took a stand—marching through the streets of New York City, demanding better working conditions and the right to vote.
Every year since that day, on March 8, we celebrate women’s achievements throughout history and across nations. A theme is chosen by the United Nations for International Women’s Day, and this year the theme is Gender Agenda: Gaining Momentum.
“Over time and distance, the equal rights of women have progressed. We celebrate the achievements of women while remaining vigilant and tenacious for further sustainable change. There is global momentum for championing women’s equality.”
What You Can Do
No matter how successful and skilled we are, there’s still this part of us that seeks confirmation and affirmation that others believe in us–especially from other strong, successful women in our lives.
To celebrate the women in your life, share with them the unique talents and skills they possess that you admire. Take time out of your busy day and acknowledge what you so enjoy about them.
Be specific with your compliments. The best compliments we receive are specific to ourselves. Think about it, which compliment would you rather receive? “Great presentation!” or “Great presentation! You know how to communicate and get your message across so effectively!”
Empower another woman this month (and every month!) While each of us bears the weight of history, we also hold the potential to transform it.
Check out this great video from Kronos and Xplane! The video provides interesting facts and statistics about the changes and developments that have impacted women in the workforce.
If you’re the kind of person who makes New Year’s resolutions, I have a challenge for you this year.
As you go about your day, incorporate these three “manners makeover” habits to set a new standard for interacting with others —whether in business or personal.
Be fully present – In the words of the late inspirational speaker and wordsmith Jim Rohn, “Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of attention.” Seems like a simple request, but it’s tougher than you think. With so many distractions – cell phones, email, etc. – it’s easy to think you can multi-task while on a conference call and still be fully connected to the conversation. Not so.
The next time you’re talking to someone, really stop and listen. Refrain from thinking about what you’re going to say in response. And if you’re out to dinner—and I can’t believe I still see this happening all the time – keep your cell phones turned off! By checking email or texting while in someone’s company, you’re saying, “Hey, it’s great to see you, but right now there is someone more important I need to talk to.”
Compliment others (fill their bucket) – How did you feel after your last interaction with____________? Did that person make you feel more positive or did they leave you feeling a little deflated?
The Gallop organization has created a wonderful metaphor to take us to a new level of personal interaction. Imagine each of us has an invisible “bucket,” and we also have a ladle. When you engage with a person, you have two choices: You can use the ladle to fill his or her bucket, or take from it. The secret is when you fill someone else’s bucket we also fill our own bucket. When we take from someone’s bucket we are also dipping into our own bucket. WE are at our best when our buckets are full.
When interacting with people this year, remember the bucket. Complimenting others is a good way to fill his or her bucket. Remember kindness is contagious.
Leave things better than you found them. The last manners challenge is simple: Leave things better than you found them. We owe it to those that came before us to leave things better than we found it so those that come after us can enjoy the same opportunities or benefits we had.
By incorporating these three tips into your everyday encounters, you’ll create new habits that will leave a lasting impression.
Remember this: If our lives are on autopilot, we are not in control of the destination. Make a conscious decision to be a positive example—leading the way.
I’d love to hear from you as you challenge yourself to keep these three manners resolutions this year. Send me a note or comment on the blog.
And if you’re on Twitter, share your thoughts using hashtag #MannersMakeover.
Happy New Year to all of you! Wishing you much success and happiness in 2013!
It’s office holiday party time again! Here are a few tips to make sure you have fun, without forgetting that it’s a business event.
If you’re attending a social gathering this holiday season, hosted by a business colleague, remember these tips:
Don’t skip the party. If you’re invited to an office party, show up.
Know the dress code. You don’t want to show up in a Christmas sweater and Santa hat if the party is more formal. And this is not the time to start showing off your cleavage! Best advice: Ask your host or hostess about the dress code before you go, and choose an appropriate outfit.
Eat before you go. Have a light snack before you go so that you’re not spending all your time at the snack table. And if you plan on drinking, you’ll have something in your stomach.
Bring a hostess gift. A bottle of wine, or a nice box of chocolates, makes great hostess gifts during the holidays.
Limit your cocktails. Even small quantities of alcohol can loosen your inhibitions and lead to embarrassing moments at an office party. Limit yourself to one or two cocktails for the evening and then switch to a non-alcoholic beverage.
Mingle and enjoy yourself. Everyone who hosts a party wants to be sure that their guests have fun. If an impromptu round of Christmas caroling is initiated, join in the fun!
Put your phone away. An office party is the perfect opportunity to get some face time with your boss or other higher-ups. Leave your phone turned off or on vibrate so you can make the people at the party your priority.
Avoid excessive “work” talk. As tempting as it might be to spend the time chatting about the latest project, use this time to talk about non-work-related topics. And this is definitely not the time or place to gripe about anything or anyone from work.
Keep conversations positive and upbeat. Have a few topics up your sleeve – and avoid politics and religion, as a rule.
Say good-bye. When you leave, be sure to seek out the host / hostess to thank them for the invitation and say good-bye.
Say “thank you.” Skip the email and send a personal, handwritten note within 24 hours of the party.
Above all else, when attending a holiday office party, remember that it’s still work. No matter how festive the party is, protecting your professional reputation comes first. You don’t want to be remembered with the lampshade on your head at the end of the evening.
Do you travel a lot? It’s all so relative isn’t it? What’s considered a lot by my cousins in the Netherlands is not a lot by North American standards. My cousins take a coffee break if they have to drive for 90 minutes! Perhaps that speaks more to the stage of develop of the culture rather than the geographic distance that needs to be covered.
In Europe I believe the focus is more on relationships, when it comes to how they spend their time. In North America in spite of Gen Y’s efforts, the primary focus is building and maintaining wealth…which, of course keeps our pace steady at GO, GO, GO!
Over the last the last few years I have traveled a mile or two. And while I have had the opportunity to stay at many glamorous hotels, and some not so glamorous (thanks Isabelle for taking care of the mice), my favorite way to travel is to stay as a guest in someone’s home. It’s certainly a far better way to learn about the people you are engaging with.
And no one treats guests better than Jonellen and Lou Heckler. When I arrived at their home for a weekend of coaching recently, there was a plaque on the front door that read: “Welcome Margaret.” My suite (yes bedroom, bathroom and sitting area) also had my name on the door. They had everything you would expect at a five-star hotel: packaged quality soap, shampoos, body lotion and even toothpaste (just in case I forgot mine). Everything was sparkling clean and inviting.
Uncertainty makes people feel uncomfortable—and your job as a host or hostess is to reduce that uncertainty. When you are entertaining house guests, let them know exactly what will be happening over the duration of their stay.
The most welcoming thing to say to guests is, “Make yourself comfortable. Make yourself at home.”
Seven things to consider when having houseguests:
Ask your guests about their food likes and dislikes before they arrive and be prepared to have items in your pantry that fit your guests needs.
Provide fresh linens and toiletries, such as toilet paper and tissues.
Give guidance on where to put things like wet towels, especially if it’s a shared bathroom.
Make sure there is a trash can available in the guest bathroom or bedroom.
Put a night-light in the hall or rest room so guests can easily find their way at night.
Agree on a time to be up in the morning and the options at breakfast. Have healthy snacks and fresh fruits easily available for guests. Your guests may feel uneasy about rummaging through your fridge or cupboard to find an afternoon snack (even if you’ve told them to help themselves!)
If there are kids visiting and you have valuable items that are at risk of being damaged, put them away before your guests arrive.
Bonus:
Ask your guest if they felt something else could be added to the guest rooms to make their overnight stay more comfortable. Jonellen has received great ideas from this request – including things like a lint roller to an ironing board and iron.
Do you have tips for entertaining houseguests you’d like to share? What are some things that hosts should avoid? Let me know in the comments section below!
At a recent workshop I asked participants to share what they felt was positive, and negative, about social media.
Here are a few of the things that they found to be positive about social media:
Positive:
Immediate communication
Far-reaching message
Personal
Fast, easy and trackable
Ability to stay in touch and / or reconnect
And here are a few of the things the participants felt were negative attributes of social media:
Time consuming
Don’t know results
Eroding communication skills
The etiquette of social media difficult to understand
While I was not surprised by the positive attributes of social media – the ease of communication and ability to connect being one of the most notable benefits – I was a little surprised at how many people wanted to know “how to use social media.” The etiquette “rules” for using social media effectively, both for personal and for business communication, seems to be a common struggle for many who are navigating this new way of connecting.
Manners matter, online and offline There is no lack of information on “how to use social media” online (just key that into the Google search bar!), so I thought I would just share a few tips to help you with some of the more “mannerly” things to think about when sharing on your social networks.
Say “hello” If you are at a networking event and you’re face-to-face with someone, you’re going to introduce yourself before you launch into a conversation. On LinkedIn (or other networks where you’re “meeting” people), be sure to observe the same consideration. If you’re asking for a connection on LinkedIn, update the default message to a more personalized one before sending the request.
Think before you tweet (but be yourself!) There’s a certain transparency that comes with communicating online. Once you hit that “send” button, you can’t take it back. It can be very easy to fire off a tweet or update your page, without thinking about the repercussions. I’m all for honesty, but be sure you’re sharing information you want the world to see! Read before you tweet is always a good practice to incorporate!
Show your gratitude If someone shares your content, say “thank you.” This is a good way to show your gratitude, but it’s also a great way to connect with a fan or follower and engage in a further discussion on the topic.
Talk like a real person, but be professional If you’re using social media to build your business, or your professional network, the most important thing you can do is be yourself. Know your goals (just as you would at a networking event) and get to know people through real conversations. Talk about the same things you would talk about if you were face-to-face. Be professional, but show your personality.
Although the world of online networking is new to many of us, there is little difference in connecting with people online and offline. The same basic tenets hold true: Trust and authenticity are at the top of the list.
What tips do you have to share? Your thoughts on the positive and negative aspects of social media? We’d love to hear about it! Share with us in the comments below!
I’m sure that most of us have witnessed a driving etiquette faux pas at least once this week (if not every day!). The truth is, there are very few flawless, exemplary drivers on the road today. No matter how great we think our driving skills are, when sharing the road, we all commit the occasional driving gaffe from time to time.
Here are a few driving etiquette reminders to keep everyone safe – and happy – when behind the wheel.
Four-Way Stop Rules When there are four stops signs pointing in all four direction of traffic, you must come to a full stop before the STOP line. Look for oncoming traffic and proceed when safe. If you arrive at the same time as another driver, the driver on the farthest right has right of way.Where there are four vehicles waiting at a four-way stop, the alternating directions take turns. If making a left turn, remember to turn on your left indicator. Left turning drivers must yield to the vehicle coming in the opposite direction.Even with “right of way,” be alert! Other drivers don’t always follow the rules of the road.
Pedestrians in Crosswalks Pedestrians in crosswalks ALWAYS have the right of way. ALWAYS!
School Buses Yellow flashing lights indicate the school bus is preparing to stop. This is your signal to prepare to stop, as well. If the red lights are flashing, traffic in both directions must stop at least 20 feet form the school bus.
Keep the Traffic Flowing To keep traffic flowing efficiently, a driver has to think before acting. Does it make sense for a driver to stop in the middle of the block to let a pedestrian cross, where this is no crosswalk? You might think you’re doing someone a good deed when in truth you are risking being rear-ended by another driver who isn’t expecting traffic to stop in the middle of the street.Keep the flow of traffic going. The pedestrian, in this case, wasn’t expecting the driver to stop—and is happy to wait until it’s safe to cross the road.
Keep Moving When Merging onto the Highway When you are merging onto a highway from an entrance ramp, please keep moving. Do not stop (unless directed to do so). It slows the flow of traffic and it’s downright dangerous. Again, the driver behind isn’t expecting you to stop.If the traffic on the highway is moving at high rate of speed then it’s very difficult to move or merge into a gap between vehicles from a standing start. Accelerate to the speed of traffic to make it easier to slip or merge into the gap between vehicles.If you’re on the highway and a car is trying to merge from the right, make it easier for them to slip into the lane. Ease off the gas slightly to make room—or move to the left lane if safely possible, then move back to the right lane. Being courteous will make everyone safer!
Stay in the Right Lane, Passing Lanes are for Passing I know this is a big pet peeve for many: If you aren’t passing another vehicle, stay in the right lane. It doesn’t matter how fast you are driving, most problems occur with drivers who feel it’s their right to travel in the left lane no matter how much traffic they are holding up behind them.
Signal To Change Lanes Always signal before changing lanes and remember: weaving is for rugs, not traffic.
Tailgating is a Party Leave at least one car length between you and the driver ahead of you. Driving too close is not only rude, but it can make the person in front of your anxious and/ or frustrated!
Keep Your Horn Honking to a Minimum Your car horn was created as a way to alert other cars in emergency situations, not as a tool to vent your frustrations.
Night Driving Courtesy Dim your high beam headlights when you are 150 meters from other cars. Keep your eyes moving and scan for pedestrians, animals, and cyclists. Glance to the right edge of the road to avoid glare from oncoming headlights.
It goes without saying that the number one thing to do when driving is BE ALERT. Make sure you make frequent stops to rest if you’re traveling a long distance, especially if you’re alone. And stay off the phone! Using a cell phone while driving – which is now illegal in many provinces and states – is just plain dangerous. Nothing is as important as your life or the life of others on the road.
Looking for ways to enrich your referral strategy this year? Here are seven action points to help you develop valuable relationships and cultivate a network of endless referrals.
Secret #1. Know the Industry Norm for Referring
Follow the industry’s guidelines when making referrals. For example, in some industries, a formal referral letter is standard; in others, a phone call will suffice.
Secret #2. Disclose a Finders Fee Up Front
When it comes to commissions, make sure everyone is in the information loop. By communicating the arrangement upfront, you’re less likely to cause misunderstandings or fall-outs after the fact.
Secret #3. Find Opportunities to Reciprocate Referrals
Referral reciprocity helps build lasting, trusting relationships, shows appreciation, and strengthens business bonds. This reciprocity feeds on thoughtfulness. Continued business success results.
Secret #4. Always Speak with Respect
Be professional and positive at all times. Know that you put the referring agent in a good light if the match is successful. Also, if you speak ill of others, it could get back to them just as fast as they can flip their Rolodex to a new business contact. Capital “R” referral etiquette means showing respect for everyone involved: both those who connect the parties and those who have something to give.
Secret #5. Keep Track of Where a Referral Came From
If you were referred to for your specialty, stick to what you specialize in. Send your referral back to the referring agent if additional work needs to be done. This builds trust and sets the stage for future referrals. Keep track of who referred you so you can officially thank them.
Secret #6. Send “Thank You” Notes to All Referral Sources
Say “thank you” to all referring agents, whether you take on the work or not. If you do the work, show your gratitude by sending each of them a formal “thank you” note when you complete it.
Secret #7. After the Connection, Follow Up
Follow up via phone or email to your referring sources. This will strengthen your relationship, improve how you do business together, and keep your name “top of mind” when the next opportunity comes along.
Follow this basic format for all your referrals and feel confident that your referral etiquette is on track for business success.
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