Latest "Everyday Etiquette" Posts
January 23, 2015
According to the National Elevator Industry, elevators in the United States make 18 billion passenger trips per year and on average, each elevator carries 20,000 people in that timeframe. That is a lot of trips with a lot people in a very tight, awkward space. And I wonder how many of those trips are spent in silence? Crammed into a tiny box, we zip from one floor to another, staring forward, trying our best to ignore the fact that we’re shoulder to shoulder with complete strangers!
While I’ve already written about elevator etiquette in the past, here are some additional surefire tips on how to make the elevator experience less awkward for everyone:
- If you are in a tall building, and you only need to navigate from one floor to the next, take the stairs (if you can.) You’ll save yourself dirty looks from fellow passengers who are trying to make their way to the upper floors, while doing your body good by taking the stairs.
- Be aware of your surroundings. If you walk into the elevator lobby, note if the button has already been pushed and if people are already waiting. Don’t be “that guy” that hits the lit button again and subsequently jumps in front of everyone else that was patiently waiting. First to arrive, first to load.
- When waiting for the elevator, stand to one side to allow others to exit before you board.
- If the elevator looks full when the doors open, don’t just push your way on. Smile and kindly ask, “Any room for me?” More often than not, people will make a bit of room for you. If they do, be sure to thank them! If there isn’t room, they’ll likely shake their heads and give you a “sorry” shrug. Say “thank you,” and then step back and to one side to wait for the next elevator.
- I know you’re hungry but refrain from eating on an elevator. Besides the obvious fact that it’s impolite to eat standing up on an elevator filled with people, do you really want to risk arriving on your floor with ketchup on your tie?
- Do your best to face the door. This is a neutral, parallel direction that most of your fellow passengers will (likely) be facing. If you walk on to an elevator and keep your back to the door, you’ll find yourself in an awkward, confrontational standing position with the rest of people on board.
- Say “good morning” or another pleasant greeting as you enter the elevator. This makes the ride a little more pleasant by breaking the tension of being in an enclosed space with a group of strangers! It’s also a good practice if you’re shy or uncomfortable talking to new people. Take this opportunity to engage in small talk. Something like, “What a beautiful day it is today.” You’ll find your networking skills will improve the more often you get outside of your comfort zone.
- If you are at the back of a crowded elevator and it is approaching your floor, announce in a polite, friendly voice “My floor is next.” It sets the expectation for others on board and they will typically make room for you to exit.
- Elevator operators are a rarity nowadays, so you should be ready to take the helm if you are closest to the control panel. To prevent passengers from reaching across or over others, smile and say “Good morning! What floor do you need?”
- When the elevator is full, the people closest to the door exit first. Otherwise, women exit first
Do you have any interesting elevator etiquette tips you’d like to share? Please leave a reply and share!
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette and tagged elevator etiquette
December 29, 2014
As the year comes to a close, you’re probably thinking about New Year’s resolutions. And if it’s not top of your mind, it’s certainly a trending topic on the Internet, so there’s no escaping it. While this is the perfect time of year to set personal and professional standards and goals for the next 12 months, it’s also important to spend time reflecting and celebrating all that you’ve accomplished in the past year.
Every year between Christmas and New Year, I sit down and create a list of the 100 things I have accomplished over the past 12 months. It doesn’t matter the size of the accomplishment or outcome, I write it down. It usually takes me a few days to complete my year-end review and when I am done I am always amazed at how much I have accomplished and how much I have grown. Revisiting your blessings and accomplishments will also help you shine a light on the new standards and goals you wish to set in the coming year. Look at the list you created and think about the things that fired you up. Does your heart still leap when you think about how you felt giving that speech, running that marathon or landing that job? Whatever it was that you accomplished that made your heart jump for joy, do more of that in 2015!
As you set new standards and goals for 2015, I wish you much success in building a better you! Is it really all about hitting those targets? No, it’s really all about the person you become as you work toward those milestones.
Wishing you all the best for 2015. In the New Year may you be a lean, keen mingling machine.
Please feel free to contact me for support and guidance as you continue your journey to reaching your full potential!
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette
November 21, 2014
If you’re a woman, you’ve asked yourself this question: Where do I put my handbag while I eat? Or while I visit?
If you hang it on the chair, it’s easy pickings for a thief. Putting it on your lap is not comfortable and can get messy. So, what happens? Usually you put it on the floor by your feet, tucking it in so that the waiter doesn’t kick it around or trip over the strap! Am I right, ladies?
One of the things that was very prevalent when I journeyed this summer was that there was far more thought given to “purse etiquette” outside North America.
In fact I would go so far as to say they have mastered the art.
After a long morning of shopping at a large mall in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, we stopped for tea at Harrods beautiful tea bar. The Tea Salon, with its white clothed tables and fine china, was the perfect place to partake in a cool drink and take a break fro our shop-till-we-drop excursion.
We sat down and I put my handbag and my parcels on the floor next to me. The dashing waiter rushed over with a black basket and placed it on the floor next to me, picked up my handbag and placed it in the basket. I blushed, smiled and thanked him. Seriously, it’s been years since a man touched one of my handbags! 🙂
A few days later, in Singapore, at the Marina Bay Resort – the Ku de Ta restaurant—I again went to put my handbag on the floor, out of habit, and the waitress, Ida, suggested I place my handbag on the cushion next to me instead.
As we left the restaurant we were each presented with a beautiful purse hanger as a gift. Apparently the restaurant gives the ornate purse hangers to all the restaurant patrons to encourage them to use them throughout the city when they are tempted to place their handbag on the floor! What a lovely gesture, and a wonderful way of sharing proper “etiquette” of how better to manage your handbag.
The following week in Tokyo, we noticed some restaurants had bins built in next to the dining tables to place parcels and handbags in. Talk about being attentive to your clients needs! I’m curious, were there women involved with the design of the bins or was it men who had their eyes open to the challenges of their patrons?
Perhaps one of the catalysts in the east is the Chinese proverb that says: “A purse on the floor is money out the door.” Your money, checkbook and credit cards are typically in your handbag and putting your purse on the floor is disrespectful and shows disregard for your wealth.
While we don’t have a similar proverb in the west, I only had to have one biologist show me the bacteria that resides on the floors EVERYWHERE to know you and I ought not to be putting our handbag on the floor and then minutes later on our kitchen counter, bathroom counter and even on our beds – nasty! Knowing that, why would we ever want to put our purse on the floor again?
Where are you likely to place your handbag when you need to put it down?
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette and tagged purse etiquette
November 10, 2014
Tomorrow is Remembrance Day in Canada, and this year more Canadians than ever are wearing poppies as a way to honour our veterans for their sacrifice. With the recent attacks in Canada fresh in our minds, I wasn’t surprised to read that 19 million poppies have been distributed this year – one million more than last year.
Remembrance Day has certainly taken on added meaning after last month’s tragic events. This year Remembrance Day ceremonies will feel very raw for all of us.
Below are a few poppy etiquette suggestions to ensure you are showing the most respect for the honoured tradition.
- Traditionally, a poppy is worn on your left side, closest to your heart, but the fact that you’re choosing to wear the poppy speaks volumes.
- Poppies can be worn any time of year to show support for fallen soldiers, but traditionally poppies are worn from the last Friday in October until November 11.
- Nothing should be worn in front of the poppy.
- After November 11, poppies can be attached to a wreath at your local cenotaph after the Remembrance Day service.
- If you find a discarded poppy, The Salvation Army suggests you place it in the cemetery or at the foot of a war memorial.
We encourage you to purchase a new poppy every year as the money raised through poppy donations goes toward programs and financial assistance to help veterans in need and their families.
Tip: To prevent your poppy from falling off, try sliding a plastic earring backing on the end of the pin. Here are some more tips to keep your poppy in place. What tips do you have for keeping your poppy in place?
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette and tagged poppy etiquette, Remembrance Day
October 23, 2014
One of the most fascinating things about traveling is being able to immerse yourself in another culture. The customs, culture, gestures and what is considered their social “norms” are so interesting.
This summer I had the opportunity to travel farther afield than I normally go. I spent nearly a month visiting Kuala Lumpur, Singapore, Bali and Tokyo.
In Tokyo, one of the most densely populated urban centers of the world, there is a definite feeling of respect for one another. A limo coach picked us up from the airport to take us to our hotel. And as the bus pulled away, the three attendants who had loaded our baggage bowed to the bus in perfect synchronicity.
Everything seemed quite orderly from the airport, to the streets to the train stations. Pedestrians wait patiently for the light to change before crossing the street and stay to the left on wide sidewalks to allow others to pass.
When traveling, we are exposed to so many new ways of doing things. And these cultural distinctions are often an improvement to some of the everyday things we encounter at home. A new way to look at something we do out of habit or because that’s how we grew up doing it! Wouldn’t it be great if we could pack some of those “new ways” into our suitcase and incorporate them into our lives at home?
Here are a few of the cultural distinctions I noticed during my visit:
- In North America, when we are given change back from a purchase, the clerk typically places the bills in your hand and then drops the coins on top. Or hands you the bills with the coins on top. Either way it leaves you with your wallet in one hand and the bills and change in another.
How do you get the bills and change in your wallet? And thus begins the juggling. Sometimes you end up tossing the loose change to the bottom of your purse so you can deal with the more valuable bills. And I’ve seen gentlemen shove the whole wad of money into their front pocket.
In Tokyo, there are change trays everywhere. Larger than those used in North American restaurants, the change trays sit on the counter by the cashier ready for you to place your money in. When you’re done the clerk picks up the tray and sorts out the money, makes change in the cash register and places your change nicely back in the tray and sliding it back to you. Then you are free to pick up either your change first or your bills and place them into your purse or wallet systematically. Much handier!
- If you’re dining in Japan, your place setting will always include an oshibori. The moist hand towels are used before meals, and they are presented everywhere—at restaurants, coffee shops, Internet cafes, hotel lobbies, and in homes. Generally, the towels are heated, but during summer months you are often provided a cold towel. We learned that our server was waiting for us to use the oshibori as a signal that we were ready to order. (I’m glad someone pointed that out to us!)
- While in Tokyo I noticed most coffee shops and in small eateries the norm is tables for one. In North America, singleton spots are usually just at a counter or bar. We make the assumption most people come in pairs. Not so in Tokyo. During daytime hours eating alone was more common than not. And people seemed to appreciate being able to enjoy their food or beverage and simply connect with their thoughts.
There is always something we can learn from the way others live their daily lives.
Have you been travelling lately? Was there one thing about the culture that surprised or delighted you?
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette and tagged cultural etiquette
October 2, 2014
Recently I was at an event in Las Vegas. One of the other attendees, a young man in his early 40s, arrived a day late. He had flown in from Bejing. As he had missed the opening icebreaker and I went over to introduce myself. When he spoke, his English was flawless. I was surprised and asked “Where are you from?”
The man responded, ”My family is from San Francisco.” I pressed on. “But where are your ancestors from?” Again he responded, “San Francisco.” It was then that I realized I had my foot in my mouth. You know what they say happens when you ASSUME…
I am always curious about other cultures – excited to learn about how people and places around the world. But when your curiosity about a different culture becomes uncomfortable for the other person, it’s no longer an interesting conversation.
With second and third generation immigrants living in the United States, Canada and elsewhere, some people may assume if your skin, hair or eyes are different that you are from somewhere else—and that can be insulting. “Where are you from?” means that you are not from here. In spite of being born here, being a citizen, paying taxes and contributing countless hours of volunteer hours and other services. Making assumptions about others based on their skin color or features may not be out and out discrimination but it can come across as very patronizing.
This video is a little over the top but the opening reminds me of my own foot-in-mouth moment.
The actor is so believable with his clueless reactions. When he compliments the American woman on her impeccable English, asking her where she is from, the woman comes back with, “San Diego, we speak English there.” Priceless! The sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek humor that the actress portrays is classic. Yes, this is a parody, but if you’ve ever had a moment like mine you’ll notice a vein of truth throughout the short video.
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette and tagged introduction etiquette
September 23, 2014
Have you been extra courteous the last few weeks?
With September being National Courtesy Month, this is the perfect time to brush up on being polite to others. After all, a little kindness does go a long way.
Some politeness reminders – and ways to raise the bar on being kind to others:
- Always say “please” and “thank you.”
- Greet others with a smile. Say “hello.” And “goodbye.”
- Be a good listener. Don’t interrupt!
- Dress appropriately for the occasion.
- Wait your turn. Patience really is a virtue.
- Practice your mobile manners.
- Leave things better than you found them.
- Recognize – and show gratitude – to others.
- If you have to leave the dinner table, excuse yourself.
- Give at least 3 compliments a day.
And if you need any more reasons to brush up on being a little kinder to your fellow human beings, studies have shown that being “nice” to others is actually really good for you. In a recent article on Huffington Post, clinical psychologist Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D. stated “When we help others and do kind acts, it causes our brain to release endorphins, the chemicals that give us feelings of fervor and high spirits—similar to a ‘runner’s high.’”
Sometimes it’s good to be reminded that using your manners and being courteous to others really matters. You can never be TOO POLITE!
Share this with your friends!
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette
September 11, 2014
In a recent Time magazine cover story, Millennials were referred to as lazy, entitled and selfish. This sweeping characterization of the Millennial generation is unfair, and can wreck havoc on the dynamics of today’s workplace—a place where as many generations are working under the same roof.
The truth is this: each new generation possesses qualities that baffle those before them—each one believing “their” way as the best way. Millennials, for example, have high expectations for their life and of themselves. They are passionate about what they do. Ask a 20-something-year-old this question: “Would you rather have money but work at a boring job you hate or work in a job you’re passionate about and live a more frugal life?” and the answer will more than likely be the latter.
To shift the focus from what this new generation is doing “wrong,” let’s take a look at what we, the older generations, can learn from these young bucks!
Embrace technology
Let’s face it, this one’s a no-brainer. I have an iPhone and still don’t take full advantage of its capabilities. With to-do lists, calendars, GPS, cameras, Skype—and apps for absolutely everything, Millennials are using technology to make their lives so much more efficient.
Do good
The Millennial generation wants to be part of something good. They seek out opportunities to work with companies who are making a difference in the world in some way. I love that this generation feels so empowered – that they realize that “one small step” really does matter.
Challenge yourself
You’re never too old to try something new. If you’re stuck on the “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” mentality, it’s time to take notes from this next generation! Millennials understand that in order to compete, they need to stay on top of trends–to keep learning. They also know that there is ample opportunity to learn new skills online, so there are no excuses.
Partner up
Millennials are very self-motivated, independent thinkers, but the way they approach teamwork differs from generations before them. Nick Morrison, a 22-year-old graphic designer told me: “I like working in a space where people are similarly-minded, but not necessarily working on the same thing. Being able to have someone to bounce ideas off of, instead of two people working on the same thing is great. It’s about learning from other people’s strengths.”
Leave things better than you found them
There is no doubt we as a collective society are far more environmentally conscious today than we ever were. Remember when we didn’t have a box for recycling? According to a recent Pew survey, young people are more supportive of stricter environmental laws and more likely to favor environmentally friendly policies, such as green energy development and tax incentives for hybrid vehicles. Eighty percent of those surveyed said they want to work for companies that care about their impacts.
Another interesting thought: One of my biggest pet peeves is the loud-talker — the one who is invading us with their conversation in public. If you’re hearing someone’s phone conversation, it’s probably not a Millennial. They are more inclined to text than to call (which is SO much quieter in public places!) 🙂
Do you work with Millennials? What have you learned from them?
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret Page in Business Etiquette, Everyday Etiquette and tagged millennials
April 12, 2014
The Masters, one of the most prestigious golf tournaments in the world, is in full swing! I’m not a huge golf fan, but a friend of mine had the opportunity to spend the day at The Masters during practice rounds and Par 3 tournament this week. One of her biggest takeaways, besides the fact that it is “one of the most beautiful places you’ve ever seen,” was that the experience was made extra special by the attention provided by staff. Every encounter, from the front gate attendants to the security guards, was outstanding. Even in the hectic pro shop, the clerk helping her with a purchase had a big smile and pleasant small talk. Every person she encountered was friendly and efficient – and displayed impeccable manners.
As the tournament is played at the prestigious Augusta National Golf Club, it didn’t surprise me that the level of professionalism and courtesy was top-notch. It was really great to hear, however, how much that affected my friend’s experience. Think about the times when you’ve spent time or money on something special and the experience was less-than-stellar simply because of the way the staff treated you.
Golf, in itself, is a sport where good manners and proper etiquette are part of the experience. It’s an unspoken expectation for both players and spectators. Without the supervision of a referee or umpire, the game relies solely on the integrity of its players to follow the rules and demonstrate courtesy and good sportsmanship.
In business, taking a client out for a round of golf is a great way to get to know each other better. If you’re new to golf, here are a few etiquette and protocol tips to follow:
- Men typically wear comfortable lightweight pants and a golf shirt when on the golf course. On cooler days, a knitted golf vest over your golf shirt is a good option.
- The most popular attire for women golfers includes the polo-style shirt and casual pants. On warmer days, shorter slacks, such as capris or shorts, are acceptable—knee length or longer. Skorts and golf dresses are also popular choices. Note: denim of any kind is not acceptable attire for the golf course.
- Reserve a tee time – and make the tee time.
- Plan to arrive at least 30 minutes advance of your tee off time. Head to the driving range and practice your swing.
- Leave your cell phone in the car.
- Always ensure that no one is in a position to be hit by the club, ball or twigs before they make a stroke.
- All players must be out of range before you tee off.
- If your ball heads in the direction where it is in danger of hitting someone, you must shout a warning. “Fore” is the traditional warning.
- Don’t move or talk loudly or make unnecessary noise while other golfers are playing. Think of the green as a library.
- Play at a good pace. What golfers call “slow play” delays the group behind you and if this happens, you should invite the group behind you to play through. When the play has been completed, move quickly to the next tee.
- If you lose your ball, you can choose to use a provisional ball or invite the players behind you to play through.
- If you cause any damage to the putting green during play, it’s your responsibility to repair the divot. (Here is a great divot repair animation.)
- Rake the sand bunkers after hitting your ball to remove your footprints.
- Replace the flagstick in the hole before leaving the putting green.
Golf etiquette is an essential part of the game. Being courteous to other players, and kind to the course, will ensure that everyone’s game is up to par! Enjoy the day!
Photo credit: Dave Morrison
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged The Masters 2014
February 19, 2014
As the electronic cigarette movement grows, many smokers are using their devices in public places – and that is causing quite a stir around the world. While the popularity of the e-cigarette is on the rise, the etiquette of public use of the device remains fuzzy.
First of all, not everyone is familiar with the e-cigarette and if you’re puffing away in a movie theatre, don’t be surprised if you are asked to put it out – or in this case, turn it off.
The big debate over these battery-powered cigarette look-alikes is this: Should people be allowed to “light up” whenever and wherever they choose? Or should e-cigarettes be treated like “real” cigarettes—and kept out of restaurants, bars, grocery stores, airplanes and any other place “no smoking” rules apply.
London’s Heathtrow’s airport recently opened the world’s first airport “vaping” zone – a lounge dedicated to use of e-cigarettes. And this adds to the confusion as the airport strictly forbids all other forms of smoking—fueling the debate whether “vaping’ is considered smoking.
And the answer is “yes, I believe it is, until we know more about it.”
I believe that the etiquette for e-cigarette use is the same as that of real cigarettes. If in the future we find a health benefit, then we can give them more space in our worlds, but until then, let’s treat them as we would a cigarette.
Just this week the House Transportation Committee approved a bill banning cell phone calls during flights. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood was quoted on Canadavapes.com as saying “Airline passengers have rights, and this new rules would enhance passenger comfort and reduce any confusion surrounding the use of electronic cigarettes in flight.”
Chicago and New York have already pushed back on the use of the devices, banning their use wherever smoking is taboo.
What exactly is an e-cigarette? The FDA website defines e-cigarettes as “battery-operated products designed to deliver nicotine, flavor and other chemicals. They turn chemicals, including highly addictive nicotine, into an aerosol that is inhaled by the user.”
Which leads me to my second point: just because you are exhaling vapor water doesn’t mean I want to inhale it. E-cigarettes are so new that it’s impossible to know the health risks, both to the person “vaping” and those exposed to the vapor.
The technology and gizmos that survive in the marketplace save us time and money, or make us feel special. Nowadays, the platinum rule is king. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Do others want to be around your vapor.
A recent survey of 1011 adults, conducted by Harris Interactive and commissioned by e-cigarette maker Mistic® came back with some interesting results. Of the more than 1000 American adults polled, nearly two-thirds said they would not be bothered by someone using an e-cigarette in close proximity.
“That’s good news for the e-cigarette industry, but that doesn’t mean vapers have carte blanche,” said John Wiesehan Jr., CEO of Mistic and survey spokesperson. “We wanted to better understand American attitudes when it comes to vaping in public, but also use the opportunity to lead the conversation about the need for proper etiquette when using electronic cigarettes or personal vaporizers.”
Just because e-cigarettes are not (yet) covered under most smoking bans, doesn’t mean you should “vape” wherever and whenever you please. E-cigarette smokers, like smokers, should light up outdoors, away from non-smokers.
I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic! Share in the comments below.
Continue Reading »
Print This Post
Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette
