Latest "Everyday Etiquette" Posts
February 6, 2017
Some Valentines Day ideas and etiquette tips that will leave a lasting impression with your sweetie!
- Valentine’s Day is a busy day for restaurants so if you’re planning on taking your date out for a special dinner, make the reservation now. Today. It’s not surprising that all the good restaurants book up far in advance and you don’t want to find yourself running through a drive-thru with your date. That would NOT be romantic, and it may be your very last date. 🙂
- If you’re checking out a new place for dinner, be sure to give some thought to how you’ll get there and where you’ll park. This will avoid being late for your reservation.
- If you’re buying flowers, red roses are classic, but to go the extra mile, consider your loved one’s favorite flower. You’ll definitely gain some points for paying attention if you arrive with a bouquet of her favorites.
- Instead of spending hours sifting through store-bought (often-generic) Valentine’s Day cards, why not create a video message or create a Lovestegram! With a Lovestegram, you can send a Valentine’s Day photo album to your love that is completely personal.
- Just because you’re on a tight budget, doesn’t mean you can’t plan a special evening with your spouse or significant other. Cooking together, with soft music playing in the background is very romantic. Make the evening special by getting dressed up, lighting some candles and setting the table with your best china and a bouquet of fresh flowers.
- If you’re looking for a special gift that costs very little, consider this handmade treasure. What better way to share how much someone means to you than a “10 Things I Love About You Jar!” Just jot down all the reasons the person is special to you (and it can be more than 10!) and put them in a jar. Fancy it up with some fabric and you will have a personal gift that they will never forget!
If you do plan an evening out at a restaurant, keep your phone turned off, or, at the very least, out of sight. If it’s out of sight, you’ll be less tempted to check it. Many times I’ve witnessed couples, seated at a beautiful table in a nice restaurant, each of them off in their own world – on their cell phones, texting or chatting with someone else! If you’re expecting an urgent call, ask to be excused and take your call away from the table, in privacy.
Another tricky question I get this time of year is around splitting the check – or “going Dutch.” The answer to this is simple, for Valentine’s Day and any time of year, “Whoever does the asking, does the paying.” And if you have a coupon deal, best to save that for a night out with your friends.
Lastly, bad manners are a big turn-off, so be very mindful of your manners from the moment you greet your date. Chewing with your mouth open, talking with your mouth full, and shoveling your food into your mouth will not impress. Men, keep the simple things in mind: opening the door for your date, pulling out her chair if the wait staff doesn’t do it for her. Courtesy and respect will never go out of style.
Do you have a favorite Valentine’s Day memory you’d like to share? We’d love to hear it!
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged manners, dining etiquette, Valentine's Day etiquette, courtesy
July 5, 2016
Smartphones are ubiquitous — in fact, I’d wager that many of us aren’t even aware how often we rely on these powerful little computers. Stop and think for a second: How often do you pull yours out to check the time? To pass a few minutes when you’re standing in line? To dash off a quick email between meetings?
Smartphones are convenient, to be sure, and they keep us connected no matter where we are. But in a world built on relationships, is that really a good thing? What could you gain by putting away the phone?
We’ve become so inured to smartphones that many of us have forgotten the importance of human presence. Your full attention (and your discretion in giving it) is one of the most powerful tools in your professional toolbox, and it’s one worth developing. Here are a few tips on how you can break the smartphone habit.
Set Your Own Standard. I have a colleague who once worked for a home goods company. Several times a year, vendors would fly across the country to make presentations to the CEO, president, and other key stakeholders, including my colleague. “I was always appalled when I would look around the table and realize my co-workers were using this time as an opportunity to check their messages — even the president and CEO,” she says. “And what’s worse is that the president and CEO reinforced this behavior by making it seem OK in the first place.”
It can seem acceptable to behave poorly when even your superiors are doing so. But think about the vendors giving the presentations: These moments were important to them and their businesses. They deserved better.
Ban Phones From the Table. Phone use seems particularly egregious in an intimate setting, like a meal. What better opportunity to connect with a business associate than over lunch or a quiet dinner? A few years ago, the “phone stack” was popular: After a table ordered, everyone would stack their phones in the middle of the table. The first person to reach for their phone would pick up the bill. That’s a great idea among friends, but if you’re dining out with a colleague who has a habit of pulling out the phone, make your intentions clear. Try saying, “We so rarely get a chance to talk face to face. Isn’t a luxury these days? Why don’t we agree to keep our phones stashed while we eat?”
Safeguard Your Time. What if you’re the one having a hard time disengaging from the phone? Think about what constantly checking and responding to emails says about you: You have no boundaries. If you answer emails during meetings, non-working hours, or weekends, you’re setting an expectation that the times you have set aside as important should not be important to others. And in today’s 24/7 world, people will take advantage of your non-stop vigilance.
What are your smartphone pet peeves? Tell me in the comments below! If you’re interested in learning more about developing your business etiquette skills, please contact me for more information about upcoming workshops and events.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Etiquette Tips, Everyday Etiquette and tagged etiquette tips, email etiquette, cell phone etiquette, cell phones, courtesies
May 31, 2016
When you hear the word “etiquette,” what do you think of? Do you relate it to fancy table manners and other highfalutin behaviors associated with the social protocol of dignitaries, royalty and “upper class?”
Etiquette is being aware of how your actions affect those around you. It’s about making others feel comfortable in your presence by the way you present yourself. It is not a standard we hold others to, but instead, a way we measure ourselves.
Having good manners and following etiquette guidelines, rather than being stuffy, serve to make everyday interactions more pleasant for everyone.
Emily Post said it best with this quote: “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”
So, why does it matter? In business it’s a sign of professionalism and respect for others. Knowing what to do or say in business situations saves you from an embarrassing moment, but also puts the other person at ease—building trust.
With the launch of the digital age, etiquette has definitely seen some changes. Social media and new technology has altered the way we live and the way we communicate. It’s so easy to forget the basics of good manners when we can share information so easily on Facebook!
It’s more important than ever to take a step back and remember to keep to those standards we set for ourselves. Whether we’re using technology or face-to-face communication, the rules of etiquette are constant. Here are two questions to ask yourself: Is what I am about to do respectful? Is it kind?
Turning off our cell phones when in the company of others. Thinking before we send a tweet or post a status update to Facebook that shares personal information that could be harmful to others. It matters.
Yes, the digital age has added new etiquette questions, but in the end, the answer is still the same. Etiquette is about making other people feel comfortable. It’s about doing the right thing at the right time. It’s about respecting others and yourself.
Good manners will never go out of style.
“Class is not about societal position, wealth, and status or up bringing. Class is about making other people feel comfortable in your presence.” ~ Ann Landers
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Posted by Margaret Page in Business Etiquette, Everyday Etiquette and tagged etiquette tips, business etiquette, importance of etiquette
May 19, 2016
Is it possible to be overly polite? As Canadians, it’s been said that we are polite – to a fault. Just do a quick search online for Canadians and the word “Sorry” and you’ll see plenty of commentary – and photos–on the subject of our apologetic ways.
I read an article recently where the author recounted this story: A Canadian ex-pat, living in New York, who was rather homesick found herself in a crowded two-room bookstore with high book aisles. From across the room she heard, “Excuse me – I’m sorry – excuse me.” She immediately went into the other room and searched up and down the aisles until she found the person she’d heard, who had been trying to make her way through the aisles. “Are you Canadian?” he asked her. And sure enough, the woman was another Canadian ex-pat. Funny story. Even as Canadians, we think we’re apologetic!
So, yes, there is definitely truth to the “stereotype” that we Canadians are nice. Notoriously, it seems. It’s really hard to know why Canadians go out of their way to be polite. Have our British roots turned us into a nation of self-apologists?
Bruce Grierson’s essay “Polite to a fault: Canadians are world champs. And yes, we actually did invent it,” gives credit to the Canadian sociologist Erving Goffman for inventing politeness.
“Most people think of politeness as ingrained good manners, civilized bearing, the ‘momma-brung-you-up-well’ stuff,” says Goffman. “And true enough, Canadians have that kind of reflexive politeness in spades. I remember once as a younger man in a fast-food outlet catching myself saying, ‘You’re welcome’ to the garbage can, which had ‘Thank You’ stamped on the little swinging window.”
Okay, yes, that’s a little tongue-in-cheek humor on his part, but he goes on to make a very good point with: “Society is organized on the principle that any individual who possesses certain social characteristics has a moral right to expect that others will value and treat him in an appropriate way.” So perhaps Canadians are polite in the hope or belief that others will return the favor.
While this “too polite” stereotype has provided some with a laugh or two, there is something to be said about being considerate of others.
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Posted by Margaret in Everyday Etiquette and tagged manners, Canadians, polite, sorry
March 1, 2016
Whether it’s concerns for the environment, the price of gas, parking headaches or just plain convenience, more and more people are using public transportation to get from point A to point B. The increase in ridership means that a lot more people are sharing buses, trolleys, subways and boarding areas—making it even more important that we remember to use common courtesy.
Dude Its Rude
In an effort to get riders thinking about their personal travel habits, the Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority (SEPTA) recently launched new passenger etiquette ad campaign titled “Dude It’s Rude.” SEPTA says the new campaign intentionally takes an edgy tone, using strong visuals and minimal content to get the message across. They don’t include any branding on the posters so that the riders think more about the message and less about who is delivering it. I think the campaign is brilliant! Some of the “to the point” messages include “DUDE IT’S RUDE…TAKE YOUR TRASH” AND “DUDE ITS RUDE, TONE IT DOWN.”
In fact, the Metropolitan Transportation Authority in New York has taken their own etiquette campaign a step further with ads aimed at the impolite practice of “manspreading”. Have you heard of this before? It is the wide-legged stance that many men assume when they take a seat. Unfortunately, this sitting position on the subway often takes up two or sometimes three seats in the process. And that is just plain rude!
When In Rome … (or In This Case, Singapore)
In Singapore, the public transportation system may have the strictest rules I have ever come across. And if you’re visiting the country, be aware of those rules because the country is known for harsh penalties and you aren’t going to get a “get out of jail free” just because you’re a tourist!
On trains in Singapore, you are not permitted to eat, drink, or even breastfeed. Not even a drop of water is allowed. The reason? According to the country’s transport authority “… it could spill and wet seats, soil other commuters’ belongings or cause them to slip and fall. We want to prevent any accidents and make sure that everyone can enjoy a pleasant ride.”
Etiquette tips for travelers
To ensure that your next ride is pleasant for both you and the people you’re sharing space with, keep these etiquette tips in mind:
- When boarding buses or trains, wait until everyone that wants to exit has disembarked before you get on
- Keep doorways free and clear on trains and buses
- Always offer your seat to pregnant women, the elderly, the disabled, or mothers with young children
- Take up just ONE seat. Remove your backpack or large purse if you are standing and place it between your legs or directly in front of you. Gentlemen – Please avoid the selfish act of “manspreading”.
- On escalators in North America stand to the right to allow people who wish to walk up to go by on the left
- Avoid wearing strong perfumes when using transit
- Don’t use your outside voice inside commuting with friends
- Watch your language (keep it clean, people!)
- Put your phone on vibrate and refrain from making or taking calls using it while on public transportation
- Refrain from eating on the train or bus.
- Sneeze or cough into the inside of your elbow—and away from people if possible
- Turn down the tunes if you’re listening to music with earphones (yes, it’s louder than you think)
- No smoking – this includes at the train station or bus stop
- Never leave your trash on the bus or train
What’s your biggest public transit etiquette pet peeve? Share it with us.
Photo credit: : https://www.flickr.com/photos/cavyi/3789791794/sizes/m/in/photostream/
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Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette and tagged public transportation etiquette
May 15, 2015
The Victoria Day and Memorial Day long weekends are almost here! Both holidays offer extended time to enjoy fun, outdoor cookouts with family and friends. Want to make your BBQ a great success?
Here are some tips to ensure that your outdoor grilling is a success:
For Hosts:
- Seating – Ensure that there is enough comfortable seating for everyone attending, indoors and out. Make the seating conducive to conversations amongst your guests.
- Food – Count up your RSVPs to ensure you have enough food and drink for everyone attending. Most people cook hamburgers and hotdogs at cookouts, so be sure to have a vegetarian option for any guests that are not meat-eaters.
- Drink – Provide plenty of water and juice. Alcoholic beverages, especially beer, are popular, so be careful about offering too much. Ensure that any guests that have overindulged have safe rides home.
- Grill – Make sure the grill is clean well before guests arrive. Also make sure you have enough fuel (propane or charcoal) to cook all of the food you plan to barbeque.
- Utensils – Refrain from using any rusty or dirty barbeque utensils. Also, to keep food safe, use two sets of utensils and platters, one for raw and the other for cooked foods. Make sure not to mix them up!
For Guests:
- Timing – Arrive early only if your host is aware and you plan on helping to set up and prep food. Arriving a bit after the scheduled time is perfectly fine. Also, avoid overstaying your welcome late in the evening, unless you plan on helping to clean up.
- What to bring? – Even if host says to bring nothing, bring something. Side dishes are great idea. Be sure to bring enough of your dish to feed everyone. Also, if you bring it, leave it. It’s cumbersome for you and the host to gather up your half-eaten container and half-full bottle of wine at the end of your visit.
- What to wear? – Casual, tasteful outfits are appropriate. If it is a work-related cookout, then go with business casual.
- Grill – Avoid touching or taking over the grill unless the host asks for help.
- Drink – It’s easy to get dehydrated on warm days. Drink plenty of fluids, and be careful with alcoholic beverages. These will dehydrate you further and can be even more potent when you’re sitting in the sun. Avoid embarrassing yourself or your host by overindulging.
- Clean up – Even if your host declines, it’s a customary kindness to offer help in cleaning up here and there throughout your stay.
I wish all of you fun in the sun and an enjoyable holiday weekend. Cheers!
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Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette and tagged Victoria Day long weekend, holiday weekend, BBQ etiquette
February 27, 2015
We all have a few interesting stories regarding things we’ve witnessed in public washrooms. Those experiences sometimes having you shaking your head – really! Nonetheless, it is important to be respectful of others anytime you use a public space, especially if you are at work or a conference where colleagues can observe your behavior. Here are some of my tips to ensure the utmost in courtesy and cleanliness in this most necessary and vital of places.
- Offer privacy – If you find one stall occupied in an otherwise empty bathroom, do your best to avoid the stalls directly beside the one being used. Even though it is a public restroom, it is a courtesy to at least offer the illusion of privacy to others utilizing the space. Bonus points to those businesses that offer music in their restrooms.
- Have business conversations elsewhere – Talking “shop” between the stalls is not only awkward for those having the conversation, it is impolite to others in the same room. Save the discussion for a more appropriate place.
- Refrain from cell phone use – Do you really want to carry on a conversation with someone while use the facilities! You’re more professional than that! And then there’s the germs… think about that!
- Use a toilet seat cover – In the United States, toilet seat covers are mandatory in a public bathroom and I look forward to the day that Canada follows suit. If you are lucky enough to find yourself in a stall that offers such a nicety, use it!
- Leave the toilet as you would like to find it – Perhaps you’ve heard the cute rhyme, “If you sprinkle, when you tinkle…” As you may (unfortunately) know, sitting on a damp toilet seat is a terrible experience. Please take a moment to ensure the next user will not have to deal with such an impropriety. I know this is a really corny phrase but: “Be a sweetie, wipe the seatie.”
- Remember to flush – How often have you walked into a stall to find a previous occupant’s flushable seat cover still sitting on the seat? Even if you are using an automatic toilet, always glance back and make sure everything has flushed away.
- Wash your hands – In professional business environment, you are shaking hands with many people. Do yourself and your colleagues a favor by following this most critical rule: After using the toilet, it is imperative that you wash your hands with soap– first! The recommendation is to wash your hands as long as it takes you to sing the first verse of Happy Birthday. If there is only one sink and someone is waiting to wash his or her hands, move away for a moment. You can apply your makeup or fix your hair when they are done.
- Check the counter – At a recent conference, after washing my hands, I took a paper towel and wiped off the water I had accidentally splashed outside the sink. One of the event planners came in and scolded me saying it was the janitor’s job. However, I always make a point of leaving the counter dry for the next person. I will continue to do so! Why? This simple courtesy will prevent others from getting their shirtsleeves, conference programs, portfolios, handbags etc. soaked with water.
My mantra is to leave things as nice as (or better) than you found them. Today’s building design regulations, such as automatic faucets, soap, towel dispensers, and seat covers, have made huge strides in improving public restroom cleanliness and hygiene. That, combined with proper restroom etiquette will make it a more comfortable, approachable place for all.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette and tagged restroom etiquette
February 16, 2015
Achoo! The familiar sound of flu season! The flu is spreading like wildfire through offices, schools, and entire communities this time of year. Whether you’re the one who’s sick or the one trying to remain healthy (while working in close proximity to those who are not), being considerate of others is key to reducing the chances of sharing the flu bug.
If you are sick:
- Stay home! If you have flu-like symptoms, stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone, recommends the CDC. Besides the fact that you’re minimizing the spread of germs, you’re getting the rest you need to get rid of the flu bug.
- If you must venture out of the house, refrain from shaking hands with anyone. If someone offers his or her hand, simply say, “I’m sorry, I’m not feeling 100 percent today. I don’t want to get you sick.”
- Avoid sharing confined spaces with fellow employees, if there is a flu outbreak at your office. If you must have that meeting, suggest conducting it via the web instead of a small (confined) conference room.
- If you have to sneeze or cough, cover your nose and mouth with a tissue. Dispose of the tissue and wash (or sanitize) your hands immediately. Handkerchiefs arenot sanitary, especially if you use them and then put them back into your purse or pocket for re-use later. If a tissue is not available, sneeze into your elbow rather than your bare hands.
- Avoid using your colleague’s computer, mouse, phone, pens or anything else that they would handle with their own hands.
- It’s more important than ever to wash your hands often. Scrub your hands with warm soapy water for at least 20 seconds.
If you are well, but work in close proximity to someone who is sick:
- Germs can easily enter your system through your eyes, mouth and nose—any time of year, so it’s important to keep your hands away from your face. This can be a tough habit to break, but if you can train yourself to not touch anything above your neck, you will minimize your risk of getting sick.
- This goes without saying, but whenever you’re in a public place, make it a habit to wash your hands, often. Proper hand washing is the best way to reduce the spread of germs.
- Keep sanitizers handy – and use them. Wiping down the office hotspots – such as your keyboard, desktop and doorknobs –will kill those germs that are just waiting for you. Keep a spray bottle at your desk and a packet of wipes with you at all times.
- Wash your coffee cup with hot, soapy water. A quick rinse isn’t going to remove any contamination from germs floating around your office.
- Use disposable as opposed shared eating utensils, dishes and linens in the office kitchen. You never know quite how clean those re-used items are.
- Keep your distance! Limit your interactions with a coworker who comes to the office sick. A person who has the flu can pass it on to you as far as six feet away.
What additional tips do you suggest?
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Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette and tagged flu etiquette, hand washing tips
February 5, 2015
Ah, the water cooler. It’s not only where can you grab a drink of water at work, it’s also where you’ll likely get all of the latest news from your fellow colleagues. With so many people quenching their thirst for both, it’s a high-traffic locale that certainly demands proper etiquette. To avoid becoming a topic of discussion at this most communal of places, here are some good etiquette tips to follow:
Form a line – First come, first served. If people are simply conversing and seem oblivious that you are waiting to fill your cup, politely ask, “Excuse me, may I please get a drink of water?” They’ll quickly make way for you.
Bottle vs. Cup – Observe and be considerate of others around you. If you are filling a gigantic water bottle and someone is waiting to fill his or her small water glass, take a break and let that person go in front of you. It will only take a short time for them to get their fill.
Avoid touching the water nozzle/spigot – Refrain from touching these with your fingers, lips or even the edge of your water bottle. With cold and flu season in full swing, it’s important to avoid and prevent the spread of any germs.
Replace the empty jug – If you were the lucky one to get the last glass of water from the cooler, then you are the lucky one responsible for replacing the jug. If you aren’t fit to lift a 5-gallon jug, find a friendly colleague who is willing and able to help you.
Replace the disposable cups – If you were fortunate enough to get the last cup, take a moment to refill the stock. Your thirsty co-workers will thank you!
Put trash in the trashcan – If you are using a water fountain, refrain from spitting out your gum or leaving any other garbage, such as used cups, in or on the receptacle. Leaving gum, spit or any other trash in a water fountain basin would be very discourteous to other users
Find a sink – Need to dump your old coffee? Rinse your soup bowl? Wash your hands? These are tasks that require a proper sink basin and drain. Be considerate of your co-workers and keep the water fountain and cooler clean and neat for the soul purpose of obtaining a drink of beloved H2O.
Clean up spills – If you spilled some water, grab a few paper towels and clean it up. Not only are you kindly removing your mess, you are also removing a potential hazard.
Following these simple rules will go a long way for maintaining your professionalism and respect in the workplace. Cheers to you!
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Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette
January 29, 2015
With boxes of heart-shaped chocolates filling the shelves at every grocery store, and carts filled with red roses at every florist’s stand, Valentine’s Day is a day that is hard to go unnoticed.
In the busy lifestyles that we all lead, it’s no surprise how many romances begin at the office water cooler. Although romance is in the air this time of the year, it’s good to keep a few etiquette cues in mind if you ever find yourself in an office romance.
Play by the rules
Find out what your company’s policies are on the topic of office relationships. Some companies are more traditional and have zero tolerance when it comes to “fraternization,” whereas other companies are more lenient.
Watch your PDA (public displays of affection)
You’re at work, not on a date. While it’s tempting to flash a smile across the boardroom, public displays of affection are inappropriate in a business setting. Bottom line: hands off until you’re off the clock! Engaging in PDA is rude to your fellow coworkers and it also shows a lack of professionalism and respect for the organization.
Skip the love notes
Companies put a lot of time and resources into building their employee’s communication skills to ensure they are able to be productive and efficient in their work. However, when it comes to communicating romance in the office, its best to stay away from in-person and online “intimate” conversations.
As tempting as it is to send a quick and flirtatious e-mail to your office sweetheart, remember that you are on company time and companies have access to employee e-mails. The risk of accidentally sending a department-wide e-mail that was only intended for your new love interest is a scary thought! Getting the “pink slip” for this reason is simply not worth it.
Keep it quiet
Revealing to a colleague why you’ve had an extra twinkle or two in your eyes may seem innocent, but be careful when it comes to discussing any details about your office romance. If you really need to share, be very careful in choosing your office confidante. If you have decided to go against your company’s dating policies, we strongly recommend keeping the details of your relationship to yourself. Gossip spreads fast, even in the most modest and conservative offices!
When sharing any relationship details, keep in mind that the other person in the relationship is also your confidante’s coworker. Think about how work relationships would be affected by sharing details of your love life with coworkers.
Keep your distance
Being within close quarters of each other at work can be an invitation for trouble. Requesting a department change for one of you might be the best option. The goal is to keep everyone in the game happy – especially the company.
If you work in separate departments, keep it this way. While keeping each other company during lunch is okay, frequent water cooler or restroom breaks will raise eyebrows.
Though there are complications to consider before you commit to an office romance, it can be an exciting time of your life. Especially during this time of year when love is in the air!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
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Posted by Margaret Page in Everyday Etiquette and tagged Valentine's Day etiquette, office romance etiquette
