Latest "Communication" Posts
October 14, 2013
Have you ever received an email and it was unclear which name was the first name and which was the last? Many cultures don’t follow the Western convention of given name followed by family name.
I have been working with a colleague of mine from Toastmasters who is from Singapore, and he’s been giving me some guidance on the use of surnames versus given names in communication.
Chinese, Korean, Japanese and Vietnamese names are presented in reverse from Western names. The surname, or family name, is always said or written first and then the given name. When written, such as in the signature of a letter or email communication, the surname is often entirely capitalized to make it easier for people to distinguish it from the first name. As an example, my colleague’s full name is CHUNG Li– Chung is the surname and Li is his given name.
However, it’s important to note that those who returned from overseas, especially from the U.S., have adopted to the Western format – first name followed by last name. This can definitely be a source of confusion in Asia, with the fusion of different cultures.
It’s also interesting to learn that in Chinese, the professional, social and family titles follow the family name in written communication, such as with the example: Chung Jingli (Manager Chung). When speaking to, or about a Chinese person in English, the title is said before the family name. For example, Chung Xiansheng (Mr. Chung).
In China, it’s inappropriate to call someone by only his or her last name. Chinese generally introduce guests using their full title and company names. You should do the same: Example: Mr. Louis smith, CEO of Canadian Press Association.
Chinese women use their maiden names, even after marriage, but may indicate their marital status by using Mrs., Ms., Miss, or Madam. However, children take on the surname of their father.
Important to note, as my colleague pointed out, “There are many non-conformists, so it’s rather difficult to generalize when you are in Asia. It’s best to ask if you are unsure, so you don’t get it totally wrong!”
Today, more than ever, we have great opportunities to build business relationships with people around the world. Don’t let a slip up, like addressing someone incorrectly, set an uneasy tone for your relationship. Take the time to learn about the Asian culture and customs—the payoff for both of you will be well worth it! As they say, imitation is the highest form of flattery.
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Posted by Margaret in Communication
September 24, 2013
Today, I am thrilled to share an article written by Gobinder Gill.
The grade two teacher poses a simple problem, ‘’there are four blackbirds in a tree. You take a slingshot and shoot at one of them and how many do you have left? ‘’Three’’ answers the seven- year-old European boy with certainty. ‘’Zero’’ answers the South Asian boy with equal certainty. ‘’If you shoot at one bird then others will also fly away.’’
The problem, as it turns out, is not that simple. In some ways it gets to the very heart of Canada’s increasing cultural diversity, and the cultural need if we are to compete in the global marketplace and even at home. Furthermore it is critical to recognize this diversity, understand it, value it and finally manage it.
Managing this lucrative market at home and abroad is not easy. In major cities such as Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal, many businesses have finally woken up to the concept that ethnic markets cannot be ignored. It is predicted that by 2031, the visible minorities will make up 33 percent of Canada’s population. However, in Vancouver the visible minorities will be 59 percent of the population and in Toronto it will be 62 percent of the population.
I can still recall the days during radio advertising in the late 80’s when businesses were reluctant to target any of the ethnic groups, even the Chinese or South Asian. Often the answer was something like this: perhaps you can air the commercial spots for free and then we will see what happens. Try saying that now!
When it comes to advertising, what works in the mainstream does not necessarily work in the ethnic market. A campaign needs to be specifically targeted to each group individually whether that is the South Asian community or the Chinese.
Even huge corporations have made blunders that cost them dearly in the pocket book. In the 80’s McDonalds conducted a huge campaign selling pork burgers: portraying a Muslim Man dressed in white eating a pork burger. This ad was pulled off quickly because Muslims do not eat pork. In another example, was when General Motors spent million on marketing its Nova in South America. Nova in English means new star, however, in Spanish, Nova means no go. Apparently GM did not sell many Novas in South America.
As Canada’s population becomes much more culturally diverse, it is important for organizations to do research when targeting the various ethnic communities. One size does not fit all.
About the Author:
Gobinder Gill has a profound perspective on Canadian diversity that can only come from first-hand experience. Overcoming a disadvantaged childhood and racial prejudice, he built a distinguished career in the broadcasting industry. Today Gobinder Gill has an impressive resume of experience in the mainstream as well as ethnic media, including radio, TV, film and print.
He has provided cultural awareness training for companies and organizations. In addition, has written a book on cultural diversity in the workplace called Achieving Prosperity through Diversity and is available for public speaking engagements, seminars and workshops.
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Posted by Margaret in Communication and tagged diversity
August 8, 2013
I was at the doctor’s office the other day, pleasantly flipping through the spring issue of a home and garden magazine, when my quiet moment was “hijacked” by another patient sitting across the room. There were about 20 people in the waiting room—all of us sitting quietly, waiting our turn. The key word here is … “quietly.” There were two children waiting for their grandmother, who were sitting ever-so-quietly—the young boy was playing with a Gameboy or some other handheld electronic device and the little girl, who couldn’t have been more than four, was happily coloring in her coloring book. The waiting room was… as expected…quiet.
And then the hijacking occurred.
I literally jumped, as I was absorbed in the article I was reading, when I heard this (very loudly) echo across the room: “What ethnicity am I? I know what race I am, but the papers they want me to fill out ask me for my ethnicity? So would you say I’m European? Should I put that? And what about my medication? I know I take X medication and Y medication, and then for my arthritis I take that Z medication, but what is it I take for the irritable bowel again?”
I glanced around the room to see that I wasn’t the only one who had their heads lifted, glancing (some glaring) at the woman in the center of the room who was practically yelling into her cell phone. She was filling out paperwork for the doctor and proceeded to go through every single question with the recipient on the other end of the phone. This went on for close to 15 minutes. When she was through with the form, she stayed on the phone to spill a little gossip about the lady who lives behind her who, in her words, “is always flaunting her wares up and down her driveway… why she can’t put on some clothes to get her mail is beyond me. It just ain’t right. Is it? I mean, she has grown teenagers and she walks around all…” Well, you get he picture. All 19 of us were subjected to this story…whether we wanted to be privy to it or not.
Our privacy—our silence—was hijacked!
I am sure every single one of you reading this has a story of being hijacked. Whether it’s in a doctor’s office, grocery store or in an elevator—there are so many people who don’t recognize that their conversations are hijacking the personal space of others.
In a recent study, published in the journal of PLoS One, college kids who were asked to complete anagrams while a nearby researcher talked on her cellphone were more irritated and distracted—and far more likely to remember the contents of the conversation. The study is part of growing research on why cell phones rank so high on the list of modern day irritants.
So what do we do to solve this? We would love to hear your thoughts, and your experiences. Let’s start a movement to “stop the hijacking!”
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Posted by Margaret in Communication and tagged cell phone etiquette, cell phone abuse, hijacking personal space
August 1, 2013
Not only do we need an attitude of gratitude but we also need to acknowledge our gratitude for “attitude.” Those people on your team who are enthusiastic and upbeat to work with deserve to be recognized for the value of their attitude.
Having an “attitude of gratitude”—whether it’s with your employees, coworkers, or clients– is a powerful tool in business. A recent study by Bersin & Associates underscores the bottom-line implications of saying thank you in the workplace. The study reveals that companies that have employee recognition programs are 12 times more likely to enjoy strong business results. Now, that’s a powerful number!
Sadly, however, only 20 percent of organizations are paying attention to the value of this model—and they’re missing out on a huge opportunity to nurture business relationships.
It’s very easy to take people for granted— we can get so busy in all we want to accomplish we sometimes lose awareness of what’s going on with the people around us and forget to acknowledge them.
If you’re a business owner or a manager, take note, a word of appreciation given to someone who went above and beyond on a project tells that person that you notice his or her efforts. And that matters.
Thanks for the Attitude!
When giving praise, it’s easier to acknowledge a person’s accomplishments when they’re tangible. Completing a big project. Winning a new client for the company. Meeting year-end personal goals. All of these are cause for recognition, but we don’t always give praise to those around us who make our jobs easier—just by the way they handle themselves on projects and tasks.
It’s inspiring to work with people who are oozing with positivity and excitement, and that attitude needs to be recognized (as it’s often rare!) It makes such a difference to everyone on the team when you are working with people who are enthusiastic. Who wants to work with a Debbie-downer day in and day out?
So, be sure to recognize that positive attitude – because the alternative attitude is not much fun. :-]
A sincere thank you isn’t just good manners—it’s good business.
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Posted by Margaret in Communication and tagged gratitude attitude, giving praise
April 4, 2013
I recently read an article by Nick Bilton, columnist and lead writer at The New York Times, titled Disruptions: Digital Era Redefining Etiquette. In the article, Bilton writes “Who leaves a voice mail message when you don’t answer, rather than texting you? Don’t these people realize they’re wasting your time?”
I was a little surprised by the sentiment that leaving a voice mail for someone was “a waste of time.” Sending off a quick text makes sense to me if it’s just a short response or quick communication – but to stop leaving voicemails altogether because it’s considered a waste of time? I simply don’t believe that’s true, even (and maybe especially) in a world where, as Bilton states, “…we are drowning in digital communication.” Do we really want to revert to non-verbal communication as a standard way of communicating?
I do agree that the social norms for communication have shifted due to texting and social media, but when you get to the end of your life are you going to say “I’m so glad I sent out 65000 tweets,” or are you going to recall the conversations you had with your mother every Sunday evening?
Is the 60 seconds you save by sending a text message, or a tweet, really more important than really giving time to an individual?
Know Your Audience
As Bilton noted in his article, the way we handle these differing standards is by thinking of your audience. It’s about being flexible in how you communicate with people. Think about who the relationship is with and be flexible. Your mother, for example, probably enjoys hearing your voice, so a voicemail left on her phone is going to make her smile, not annoy her. A busy colleague, on the other hand, is not going to be surprised that you texted him when you were ready to head to a lunch appointment. It’s what he’s expecting.
We’ve all heard of the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” but with that “rule,” there is an assumption that others would like to be treated the way that you want to be treated. An alternative to the Golden Rule is the Platinum Rule: “Treat others the way in they want to be treated.”
When thinking about whether to text someone, tweet someone – or if you’re trying to decide if you should leave a voice message, think about what that particular individual prefers. If their preferred method of communicating is email, then send an email. Texting? Text away! We need to meet people in their model of world, not our own.
“You’ll never know until you try to reach them, how accessible men are. But you must approach each man by the right door”
~ Henry Ward Beecher
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Posted by Margaret in Communication and tagged etiquette tips for communication, Platinum Rule
February 21, 2013
In an excerpt from “The Trust Edge: How Leaders Gain Faster Results, Deeper Relationships, and a Stronger Bottom Line,” author David Horsager says “Everything of value is built on trust, from financial systems to relationships. Trust has always been foundational to genuine success of any kind.”
Yet so many people take it for granted.
When you lose the trust of your customers, colleagues, employees, or other stakeholders in business, you’ve given up much more than you realize. And you would be surprised at how difficult it takes to rebuild that trust once it’s lost.
I read a statistic that said that once you lose trust, it takes 37 experiences to get back to the point you started with in the relationship. And once you do recover trust with that individual, if you have another misstep—and lose credibility—the process starts all over again.
To rebuild trust, there are a few things you can do:
- If you’ve done or said something that resulted in a loss of trust, understanding the reason you violated the individual’s trust in you is the first step to rebuilding the relationship.
- Acknowledge your mistake—take responsibility for the action that caused the loss of trust.
- Be patient. Your actions, moving forward, will speak louder than words. Know that it’s going to take time for the relationship to get back on solid ground.
- Before you make commitments, ensure that you are being realistic with expectations. As much as you want to “WOW” a client, it’s best to under-promise and over-deliver!
My last piece of advice is to cut yourself some slack. Life happens. If you find that you’re constantly in a state of “catch up,” and you’re not meeting commitments, it’s time to build in some “Get Real Time.”
In “Get Real Time,” you add a buffer to your day – extra time to get things done. Schedule time in your day for interruptions and for personal breaks. Be realistic with your time.
To keep the trust of others, start by being respectful to yourself. Know your own limitations. The word “no” is not a dirty word. In the words of Tony Blair “The art of leadership is saying no, it is very easy to say yes.”
Trust affects your influence and success—at every level of business. Without it, you lose your effectiveness—and your competitive edge over others.
David Horsager has spent years studying the connection between success and trust, and outlines 8 key areas that he calls The Pillars of Trust. To gain a competitive edge, take these “Pillars” into account to build a strong foundation of trust.
Your turn! Do you have any advice for us on how to rebuild a broken trust?
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Posted by Margaret in Communication and tagged business relationships, trust
September 13, 2012
This week we have a guest blog post from Dr. Loren Ekroth.
Pollinate definition: To transfer pollen from a stamen to a pistil; fertilization in flowering plants.
Pollination helps both co-(mutually) evolve.
Without bees and butterflies, no pollination. Without pollination, no flowering, no honey or corn.
Network definition: To meet people who might be useful to know, especially in your job.
Many business and professional meetings set aside a time for “networking” during which attendees chat and exchange business cards.
Pollination adds some of value to both participants. The pollinator gets a reward such as nectar for pollinating the plant.
An example by George Bernard Shaw of humans “pollinating each other.”
“If I give you an apple and you give me an apple, we both have an apple. But if I give you an idea and you give me an idea, we both have 2 ideas.”
Both prosper by gaining a new idea.
However, for such human pollination to work, both must be receptive to the transaction. Also, people who interact only with those with the same ideas do not grow.
However, when those interacting are diverse, both can gain. For example, an artist and an engineer, a realtor and a teacher, a Catholic and a Jew.
(Two practical applications of “cross-fertilization” occur in small Mastermind groups composed of a mix of people supporting one another and in “Knowledge Cafes” where participants periodically move to other tables to share what they’ve learned.)
My late friend Anne Boe, co-author of “Is Your Net Working?” was clear that participants should “give without an expectation that doing so will reap an immediate reward.” Instead, she recommended that you give because it’s the right thing to do.
Some ways to “pollinate” include
- Sharing useful ideas
- Validating others – expressing enthusiasm, making introductions.
As psychologist Robert Cialdini described in his classic book, “Influence,” the principle of reciprocity is powerful. When we give a gift, compliment a person, or do them a favor, the receiver usually feels a need to reciprocate, if not immediately, then later on.
In today’s article I drew upon nature, mainly biology, to find a new paradigm for relating to others. In short, it is this: When we do more than connect, when we add something that gives more vitality to those we connect with, everybody gains, everybody wins.
From “Better Conversations” newsletter, April 4, 2012, by Dr. Loren Ekroth. .© 2012. Reprinted with permission. Loren Ekroth is founder of “Better Conversation Week,” and related community events. To subscribe to his complimentary newsletter, visit www.conversationmatters.com.
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Posted by Margaret in Communication and tagged networking
Have you ever received an email and it was unclear which name was the first name and which was the last? Many cultures don’t follow the Western convention of given name followed by family name.
