Latest "Etiquette Edge" Posts
April 27, 2021
Once vaccine numbers rise to the point that people will make the back to work transition, we’ll face a dilemma not seen since the pandemic sent millions of workers home. After more than a year of working remotely, seeing only our families and members of our bubbles, and living entirely online, it’s going to be a huge lift to adjust to in-person interactions once again.
Unlike the jarring, bewildering start of the pandemic, however, we will be able to prepare. Now is the time to start making the back to work transition plans (if you haven’t started already). With a lot of preparation, reasonable expectations, and clear communication, you and your team can weather this next phase of work as gracefully as possible.
Set the stage for a back to work transition
Communication needs to begin long before the in-person back-to-work date. Videoconference with your people to prepare them for what is coming, such as phased work weeks and modified schedules, so they can begin to coordinate their own personal lives.
It’s also a good idea to be crystal clear about precautions and contingency plans, both to allay employees’ fears and to avoid surprises. Are there new cleaning and disinfecting procedures? How should an employee report a possible COVID-19 infection? Will employees be required to stay home if they come in contact with someone who has been infected? Brainstorm every possibility you can think of — even if it seems unlikely — and build your plan. Make sure every employee has access to that back to work transition plan for reference and peace of mind.
Celebrate the return to work!
The first day back at work should be a very big deal! We are all far less socialized than we were in January or February 2020 — even the extroverts among us are out of practice. That’s one of the reasons why the in-person start date should be lighthearted and free of to-do lists.
The other is that you and your colleagues have pulled off what seemed to be impossible, and that effort should be respected and rewarded. Decorate the office. Hire a food truck. Have contests. Organize networking events so people can reconnect in smaller groups. Make it a celebratory atmosphere so there is less pressure all around.
Check in
If you’re in a leadership or employee retention position, such as a manager, HR specialist, or CEO, make the back to work transition a priority, and have one-on-one check-ins with your colleagues. Put their mental well-being first by working with their needs, adjusting schedules as necessary, and heading off any other challenges.
Take care of yourself
Leaders will need to take extra care with their own health. Complaining down might be tempting, but avoid it by putting self-care on your daily must-do list. Eat well, exercise daily, sleep well, and meditate. Ask for support from your mentor, or, if you don’t have one, consider hiring a coach who can help you navigate this transition period. To take care of others, you first need to take care of yourself.
Remember: Put people first during this hectic period. Plan for the unexpected and expect hiccups. With a bit of grace and a lot of understanding, you and your colleagues can rediscover the connection that comes from working as a team.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Business, Time management, COVID, Business Etiquette, Communication and tagged back to work, back to work transition, return to office, return to office after COVID, employers, HR Manager
April 6, 2021
I love making connections on LinkedIn. I’ve learned and shared so much on the platform that checking in has become a valuable part of my routine. What I do not find valuable is when someone messages me with an unsolicited pitch on LinkedIn.
It seems that recently whenever I check my LinkedIn message inbox, I am almost guaranteed to receive an unsolicited pitch — and sometimes, the person will not go away. Just a few weeks ago, a person I did not know invaded my inbox with a solicitation I did not want. As always, I was firm but polite in explaining that I was not interested.
He didn’t get the hint. He steamrolled over my objections and tried again. When I told him I didn’t appreciate his tactics, he ignored me and tried yet again. It was at that point that I asked him not to contact me.
If this were a one-off situation it wouldn’t be particularly notable. But these kinds of pitches seem to be infecting LinkedIn and bringing down the quality of connections the platform is so famous for.
There is a right way to pitch, and it does take time, just like an in-person relationship. But do it correctly and you will reap the rewards.
Ask yourself: Is this potential connection a candidate for my pitch on LinkedIn?
Spend some time reading their profile, their posts and comments. Ask yourself if this is someone that can benefit from your products and expertise before you go down the sales path.
Start slowly.
Start by asking if you can connect with the person. Message them, introduce yourself, and give a quick explanation of why you’re following. Maybe you have a connection or subject matter in common.
Build rapport.
After you connect, take the time to like the person’s posts and comment thoughtfully on them. In the end, the number of connections you have isn’t as important as what you do with them.
Broach the subject in a considerate way.
Send an InMail message and offer your services or product in a polite, respectful manner that shows you’ve been paying attention to the person you’re pitching and the needs of their business.
Know when to drop the subject.
If the person you’re pitching says no, be understanding. Ending the conversation on good terms leaves the door open — pushing the subject will close it.
LinkedIn offers amazing opportunities, but the nature of the platform means you have to work smarter — not more forcefully — to develop relationships. Stay polite, be thoughtful, and your pitch on Linkedin may pay off in ways you did not expect.
What has been your experience with pitching on LinkedIn? Please share and let me know!
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Posted by Margaret Page in Entrepreneur, StartUp, Business, Business Etiquette and tagged LinkedIn, Pitch on LinkedIn, social media, LinkedIn communication, LinkedIn Messaging, selling on LinkedIn, Building rapport on LinkedIn, LinkedIn Connections
March 8, 2021
No one is an instant leader. But for women, the journey to more responsibility can seem more arduous than most.
Women represent more than half of the world’s population but still lag behind in leadership roles, from local businesses all the way up to national politics and global organizations. For decades, private and public entities have been studying the problem and investing in solutions — all of which seem to fall short.
Women have been told to lean in and speak up (even if we are interrupted more). Our nations have focused millions on programs to help women break into traditionally male-dominated fields. And yet, the percentage of women in leadership or senior management roles or worldwide is still only 30%.
What are we missing?
I’ve been a serial entrepreneur throughout my adult life. I’ve been an owner or a co-owner of a number of companies. I didn’t experience many of the horror stories I’ve heard from women who were blocked by their male counterparts.
But I did have to overcome my own fears and feelings of unworthiness. I’ve used the lessons I’ve learned in my own life to help elevate other women, and I’m often asked what others can do to help women feel more secure in their abilities. On this International Women’s Day, I encourage people who want to support women to be BRAVE.
Believe
It’s natural to look at other people’s strengths in the workplace and see them as a threat to our own — after all, business is competitive. One of the best talents you can develop is the ability to see women as they could be and fully believe in their potential. Many women don’t envision themselves taking on greater responsibilities until someone encourages them.
Recommend
Invite women into decision-making roles and promote them through your words and actions. If you’re brainstorming how to fill a seat on a board, think of the professional women you know. If you have an excellent coworker, suggest that she apply for a promotion. We have a collective responsibility to open our imaginations and welcome women to the table.
Amplify
It can be difficult for women to be heard in groups. Studies have shown that women are perceived differently when they speak up than men are. We can combat this problem by lifting up women’s speech and thoughts at the board table. Instead of thinking or nodding your assent, vocalize it. When women contribute ideas, recognize them. Amplify women’s voices to ensure they are considered.
Validate
Take time to mentor and validate women. Your contribution can be as simple as sending an encouraging note about a creative solution to a problem or recognizing a special skill, or as involved as serving as a mentor. Whatever you can do to help a woman grow and develop her leadership potential will ripple out into a positive difference in the world.
Encourage and Elevate
The growth process doesn’t end when a woman attains a seat at a board. It’s a career-long — or even lifelong — commitment to shunning comfort and embracing challenge. Encourage women to make the jump to the next level of achievement. Let them know that you will support them as they make the leap.
It takes time to build bravery. I often tell clients that it’s like driving a car: At first, everything seems foreign. You might not know where the turn signal is or when to shift gears. In time, though, driving becomes second-nature and you’re driving hundreds of miles without an ounce of apprehension.
Women have an enormous capacity for bravery when they believe in their own abilities. As co-workers, colleagues, mentors, sisters, brothers, and loved ones, we have a responsibility to foster women’s confidence and empower them to reach their full potential. Encouraging women to be brave starts when they are young girls in school. Check out this inspiring Ted Talk by Reshma Saujani.
The world is a better place when women rise up. This year, let’s commit to lifting them.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Entrepreneur, Business, Personal development, Gender, Women, Uncategorized, Business Etiquette, Communication and tagged International Womens Day, women in business, women in leadership, women in senior management, leadership roles for women
November 24, 2020
The holidays are the perfect time to show colleagues and clients how grateful you are for their hard work and support. With a few simple tips you can gift like a pro, even during COVID.
The biggest question I get this time of year is always, “How much do I spend?” I advise spending no more than the tax credit allowed in your country for professional gifts. For example, in the U.S., the IRS allows a $25 tax deduction for each professional gift.
Your Boss
Ask around to see if there is anything in the company’s rules or in the employee handbook that discourages giving your boss a gift. If others see “gifting up” as a no-no, suggest a gift from the team. If you do go solo, good options include a donation to their favorite charity, a bottle of wine (make sure they drink alcohol!), or a gift certificate to a local small business. And don’t blow your budget trying to impress them — expensive gifts can be awkward.
Your Team/Support Staff
If you manage others, choose gifts that show that you see them as individuals, not just as employees. I like giving gift cards to their favourite store or restaurant, or for activities they love. Gear for hobbies like golf balls, books, fishing flies, or art supplies are also a nice choice. Or upgrade their workspace with a beautiful leather notebook, fancy water bottle, or essential oil diffuser. A handwritten note of thanks that touches on their unique talents or contributions is a must.
Your Co-Workers
Again, feel out the culture for this one. Do others typically gift? Do they organize an activity like a Secret Santa or gift swap? Read the Your Team section above for gift suggestions. Give gifts discreetly so others do not feel left out. And if a co-worker surprises you with an unexpected gift, offer a heartfelt thank you and leave it at that. Scrambling to reciprocate could be seen as insincere.
Other Colleagues
If you want to spread good cheer to colleagues you like but don’t work with directly, bring in a tray of store-bought treats or special nuts, etc. for everyone to share. Avoid home-made goodies this year do to Covid-19 transmission concerns.
Secret Santa, Dirty Santa, or Yankee Swap
Forget gag gifts. Period. Instead, buy something you would like. Gift cards, coffee, wine, and food are all great ideas. Most likely, office Christmas parties will be on hold for this season anyways.
Clients
Make sure there isn’t a policy at your company or theirs that precludes you from giving a gift. Rules like these seek to prevent bribery and favoritism. Also, check to see if your company buys a quantity of gifts to send clients (for example, fruit baskets). The gift suggestions in the Your Boss section also work well here.
Most importantly, no matter who you are buying for, keep in mind the following:
- Choose gifts that reflect their personality and show that you have spent some time thinking about what they will enjoy or impact them in a positive fashion.
- Keep within your budget.
- Send the gift giver a thank you note or a Christmas card thanking them for their gift.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Christmas, Business, Personal development, Business Etiquette, Etiquette Tips
September 22, 2020
Back in the early days of the pandemic, when Zoom calls seemed like a novelty with an expiration date, I advised against using cute Zoom backgrounds during meetings. The Eiffel Tower or a beach at sunset would be too distracting, I said. It just seemed a bit too unprofessional.
But now that Zoom calls are our new normal, I’ve changed my mind.
Why the shift in opinion? Backgrounds have improved exponentially in just a few months. And as backgrounds have improved, so have their popularity — recently, about ¾ of people on Zoom calls I’ve participated in have used lovely, thoughtful backgrounds. If you use a site like Unsplash, which offers thousands of beautiful stock photos for free, you can tailor your backdrop to your personality.
I’ve begun to see Zoom backgrounds the same way I see dressing for a speech or choosing jewelry for a meeting. Using one is a chance to express yourself and create a human connection with your colleagues and associates. But, just as I would advise against wearing too-bold statement pieces in the board room, I suggest you use a little restraint.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Business, Webinar, Uncategorized, Business Etiquette, Communication and tagged webinar, Zoom meeting, Zoom backgrounds, Zoom background, Online meeting
September 4, 2020
Remember the days when dining out meant socializing, networking, or just enjoying a pleasant experience? These days, our restaurant meals have to be so much more than that — they have to be a safe experience for everyone involved, from patrons to waitstaff to the chefs in the kitchen.
Health and safety has to come first if we’re to beat the virus and keep our beloved restaurants open. A COVID-19 case can shut down an establishment and threaten lives and livelihoods. How can you accept this responsibility while still using your dollars to support your favorite restaurant? As with so much in life, it comes down to etiquette: Show respect for others by following the rules.
Tip #1 – Stay home if you are not feeling well
You might be asking, “Shouldn’t this go without saying?” But after months of staying at home, it’s so easy to write off a little nagging cough or a tickle in your throat for the promise of social interaction and a delicious meal. If you have even the slightest suspicion that your health isn’t 100 percent, stay home.
Tip #2 – Bring your phone
For years, I’ve been advising clients to avoid their phones while dining to remain fully present. But the pandemic has upended even my most hard-and-fast rules! Your phone is now a multi-use tool: You can use it for contact-less payment or to order (we’ll get to that in a second). Just be sure to clean it properly when you get home.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Dining Etiquette, Etiquette Edge, Etiquette Tips, Everyday Etiquette and tagged Covid-19, Masks, dining, restaurants, QR code reader, sanitizer, pandemic, Corona virus
August 4, 2020
Our lessons often pop up when we least expect them. Especially when it comes to beauty.
This is exactly what happened to me several years ago. I had agreed to spend a couple days helping two colleagues who were facilitating a workshop in Vancouver. At the end of the first day, the three of us went out to supper to discuss workshop events and plan for the following day. Naturally, the conversation moved to our personal lives. Because I was single, Doreen asked how I was doing in the relationship department. I revealed that I had recently enlisted the services of a matchmaking company.
“The thing is, I don’t like writing my own profile,” I admitted.” The sample profiles I saw all started with, ‘I am attractive, I am beautiful, and I was advised to follow this approach because men often use appearance as a key factor in selecting the women they want to date. But saying ‘I’m beautiful’ just did not feel right to me.
“It’s not that I think I am ugly,” I clarified. “I just don’t look at myself as beautiful. I’m really uncomfortable writing, ‘I am a beautiful woman.'”
Doreen looked directly at me, eyes fixed on mine, and declared, “Margaret, you have to claim your beauty!” I began to squirm. And then I did what I generally do when I do not like where the conversation is going – I changed the subject.
Over the next three days, my mind kept drifting back to Doreen’s assertive statement: “Margaret, you have to claim your beauty.” She was right, of course. Why was I so reluctant to stand up and acknowledge my own beauty? Why did the very idea of it make me uncomfortable?
Somewhere along the way, we learned that it’s wrong to judge people by their appearance, and we’ve carried that lesson one step too far. Some of us are even reluctant to acknowledge another woman’s beauty. Somehow, this seems inherently wrong.
On the last day of the workshop, my attention kept shifting from one group to the other, and then suddenly I noticed her. There she was – across the room, looking radiant.
It was several seconds before I realized the woman who looked so gorgeous was me. Yes, me. I had glimpsed myself in the mirrored panel of a piece of furniture halfway between the two groups. And in that moment, I saw myself as beautiful.
When I shared my discover with Doreen, she was delighted with my news and hugged me tightly.
Elated, I arrived at my dinner engagement that evening with a friend I hadn’t seen in months. Her first comment was, “You look absolutely wonderful!” Twice more through dinner, she said, “I can’t believe how terrific you look.” I beamed.
Later the next day, my real estate agent showed up for an appointment. She walked in and started talking. Halfway through her first sentence, she stopped, looked closely at me and asked, “Did you get a haircut?” I replied, “No.”
She continued talking as we walked to my kitchen. When we got there, she asked, “Did you lose weight?” I replied, “No.”
She kept talking but suddenly stopped and looked at me more intently. Then she said, “Well, whatever you’re doing, don’t stop. You look absolutely terrific.” Patricia’s comments decorated my life like cherries on top of a sundae. A smile crossed my face – you know, one of those smiles that go from ear to ear and almost hurt the kind of smile you give when you’re in love.
I would like to say that euphoric feeling has lasted even to this day, but I have to acknowledge that it has faded, just like being in love can fade. The human mission, it would seem, is to seek flaws and flush out imperfections. Of course, if that’s what we’re looking for, that’s what we see. That’s why we have to keep our attention on our beauty, the magic that naturally radiates from each and every one of us.
From that day forward, I vowed to see much more than my imperfections. Now when I look in the mirror, I wink at myself and say, “Margaret, you are beautiful.”
Not only does this help me appreciate my own radiance, but it also helps me appreciate the beauty of other women as well. Five years ago, I would have felt uncomfortable telling a woman, “You’re beautiful!” But now it just flows out of me, a genuine and heartfelt expression of appreciation. Isn’t that beautiful?
As a coach, I recommend:
1. When you receive a compliment, graciously accept it and “take it in.”
Don’t resist it, don’t argue with it, don’t deflect it or bounce it back to the person who gave it. Take a deep breath and savour it. Smile and say thank you!
2. When you look in the mirror, break the habit of checking for flaws. Instead, wink! Say something complimentary. Then blow yourself a kiss and say, “I am beautiful!”
While this may seem silly or self indulgent at first, it will lighten your spirits and remind you to focus on your beauty. Try it – it works!
3. Let the mirror tell you to just “be” beautiful
Our lives are so filled with “doing” that we rarely take time to enjoy “being” by acknowledging our own beauty. The next time you get ready for the day, tape a note or write directly on your mirror: “I am beautiful.” Because you are.
4. Be bold enough to acknowledge another woman’s beauty
We see ourselves so often that we tend to lose perspective. Go ahead, empower another woman by telling her how attractive she looks. It will give you both a lift.
5. Share Beauty Affirmations with your Girlfriends
Spend an evening with your close girlfriends over a bottle of wine (or any other favourite beverage) and take turns sharing what you find beautiful about each other. Focus on outer and inner beauty! This exercise encourages me to give complements more often. You will come back to this evening many times in the future, guaranteed!
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Posted by Margaret Page in Personal development, Women, Self Care in challenging times, Ask Miss Maggie and tagged women, self-care, beauty, beautiful, conversations, compliment, perspective
July 21, 2020
As the pandemic grinds on, whether to wear a mask in public or in shared spaces continues to be a question for some people — but is it a question of etiquette?
Here in my native Canada, where sound policy has helped us avoid the skyrocketing cases we see in other locations, mask wearing still isn’t as accepted as it is in other countries. Yet the evidence is there: Wearing a mask can protect you and the people around you from needless suffering.
Etiquette doesn’t exist just to make the person practicing it look sophisticated; it’s a system of protocols designed to make other people comfortable. From that point of view, wearing a mask is the right thing to do (never mind the health benefits). With that in mind, let’s look at the etiquette behind mask wearing.
Follow the law
In some places like in the province of Quebec, wearing a mask isn’t a matter of personal choice — it’s the law. If you are in a location where face coverings are still an individual decision, adhere to the guidance from your local health minister or health authority. You may be required to wear a face covering only in places where social distancing isn’t possible, for instance, rather than every time you leave the house.
Respect the rules when you visit businesses
If the business you’re patronizing requires masks, put one on — if you don’t, you may be at risk of being kicked out. Employees often must serve as enforcers of these rules, which is an extra burden during an already stressful time, so please save them the added aggravation of chasing you through the store!
Set your own rules at home
You are the queen or king of your castle and can decide whether you’d like visitors to wear a mask. If you do require it, let them know ahead of time so they can prepare. The same rule applies for people who might be entering your home, so note that when you arrange for services like repairs or house cleaning. An option is to have masks available at your home for visitors.
Mind your words and your emotions
I’ve learned that it’s impossible to manage or control others. If you absolutely must talk to someone about mask wearing, first state what you are doing and why. Adopt a curious tone: “I’d like to talk to you about face coverings. I noticed you’re not wearing one. May I ask why?” Realize that you may not get the answer you’re hoping for — during this time of heightened emotions, the response may not exactly be favorable. It’s unfortunate that I must say this, but you should also understand that you could be physically at risk if you broach the subject with a stranger.
Limit Exposure when you can
Of course, mask wearing is just one way to prevent the spread of COVID-19. I don’t go to the grocery store anymore and instead opt for grocery delivery. I also take advantage of online retailers like Amazon to reduce the risk of exposure for myself and others. Better yet check out local suppliers that will deliver to you.
Are you wearing a face covering? How do you broach the subject with guests in your home or with friends and family who don’t like to wear masks? I’d love to hear about your experiences in the comments below.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Personal development, Self Care in challenging times, Uncategorized, Etiquette Edge and tagged hand sanitizers, Gain Confidence, Covid-19, Masks
April 14, 2020
Many of us have jumped into the Zoom world out of necessity, with many aspects of daily life now handled via video chat — club and business meetings, family dinners, play dates, pub nights, and even holidays!
Thanks to my work with Toastmasters, which has clubs throughout the world, I’ve had the opportunity to work with online meeting platforms for 10 years. What I’ve noticed is that many of us are comfortable with in-person meetings, but not quite so comfortable handling the challenges of remote communication. After all, the cues that we usually pick up on in person — such as the way a person enters a room or body language — aren’t available on a platform like Zoom.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Entrepreneur, StartUp, Business, Webinar, Personal development, Uncategorized, Business Etiquette, Communication and tagged Zoom, Zoom Webinar, Video conference, Internet, Virtual Meeting
February 18, 2020
Think about career mistakes and big moments come to mind — not taking that plum job, bungling a big presentation, getting passed over for a promotion.
But it’s the day-to-day decisions that can really make or break your career. Your sum total of your everyday choices is your reputation, and it’s the often-overlooked key to unlocking success.
We’re all guilty of slipping up from time to time. But if you’re consistently doing the following, you could be sabotaging your reputation — and your future.
Bad Mouthing Others
It can be difficult to restrain yourself in the heat of the moment, but unkind words about your colleagues make you look untrustworthy. If you’re talking about a co-worker behind her back, how is the listener supposed to believe that you won’t do the same about him?
Using Foul Language
There are a few industries where blue language is tolerated and maybe even expected. But that’s not the case for 99 percent of us. Although some people might find off-color language provocative, or even funny, you run the risk of offending people and looking unprofessional.
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Posted by Margaret Page in Interviews, Business, Personal development, Uncategorized, Business Etiquette, Communication and tagged career, workplace, Reputation, career mistakes, promotions
