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Are You Networking or Pollinating?

This week we have a guest blog post from Dr. Loren Ekroth.

Pollinate definition: To transfer pollen from a stamen to a pistil; fertilization in flowering plants.

Pollination helps both co-(mutually) evolve.

Without bees and butterflies, no pollination. Without pollination, no flowering, no honey or corn.

Network definition: To meet people who might be useful to know, especially in your job.

Many business and professional meetings set aside a time for “networking” during which attendees chat and exchange business cards.

Pollination adds some of value to both participants. The pollinator gets a reward such as nectar for pollinating the plant.

An example by George Bernard Shaw of humans “pollinating each other.”

“If I give you an apple and you give me an apple, we both have an apple. But if I give you an idea and you give me an idea, we both have 2 ideas.”

Both prosper by gaining a new idea.

However, for such human pollination to work, both must be receptive to the transaction. Also, people who interact only with those with the same ideas do not grow.

However, when those interacting are diverse, both can gain. For example, an artist and an engineer, a realtor and a teacher, a Catholic and a Jew.

(Two practical applications of “cross-fertilization” occur in small Mastermind groups composed of a mix of people supporting one another and in “Knowledge Cafes” where participants periodically move to other tables to share what they’ve learned.)

My late friend Anne Boe, co-author of “Is Your Net Working?” was clear that participants should “give without an expectation that doing so will reap an immediate reward.” Instead, she recommended that you give because it’s the right thing to do.

Some ways to “pollinate” include

1. Sharing useful ideas
2. Validating others – expressing enthusiasm, making introductions.

As psychologist Robert Cialdini described in his classic book, “Influence,” the principle of reciprocity is powerful. When we give a gift, compliment a person, or do them a favor, the receiver usually feels a need to reciprocate, if not immediately, then later on.

In today’s article I drew upon nature, mainly biology, to find a new paradigm for relating to others. In short, it is this: When we do more than connect, when we add something that gives more vitality to those we connect with, everybody gains, everybody wins.

From “Better Conversations” newsletter, April 4, 2012, by Dr. Loren Ekroth. .© 2012. Reprinted with permission. Loren Ekroth is founder of “Better Conversation Week,” and related community events. To subscribe to his complimentary newsletter, visit www.conversationmatters.com.

Posted by Margaret in Communication and tagged networking.