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An Easier Approach to Weight Loss

Like so many people, I have tried to lose weight many times in the past. There were times I was successful, but the weight slowly crept back on. Other times I was not successful. I just couldn’t stay committed to a thinner way of life.

In the spring of last year, I decided it was time to conquer this pattern once and for all. I brought this to the attention of my coach and she encouraged me to explore the root cause of this pattern: My beliefs about eating.

I realized there was a gap between what I understood about food and eating and taking care of myself, and my beliefs about these things. The evidence was in my behavior. So I decided to explore both sides.

I devoted an entire weekend to this process. On Saturday, I wrote out everything I knew about eating and diets: Eating too much isn’t good for me; too much sugar is not healthy; I don’t feel good when I eat too much; when I don’t eat enough I get hunger pangs; it feels good to have Coke floats and Black Forest cake and all the yummy treats I love. And the list went on. This part of the process was easy and really didn’t take very long.

The next day, I started exploring my beliefs about-and associations with-eating. This next step took a while, but I stuck with it. In fact, I wrote all morning. I soon realized that I had long associated mealtime with fun and family, thanks to my father who loved to cook and play in the kitchen. Childhood memories kept popping up, taking me back to different ages in my life. I realized that my very first memories were about food and how my mom was constantly trying to get me to eat. At the time, I wasn’t very interested in food, so my mom would put sugar on my oranges and cut the crust off the bread — anything to entice me to eat more. I remembered how my dad would bring home Kentucky Fried Chicken as a treat on Friday nights, and how much fun we had every time he tried to eat the giant burger at his favorite hamburger joint, the Burger Baron.

When the thoughts stopped coming, I would get up from my desk and busy myself with a household chore, then return to my desk when another thought popped up. As the day wore on, my awareness grew.

When my writing was complete, I was able to shift my perspective from the person who experiences these feelings to the person who observes them. I realized that what I knew about eating was in conflict with my emotional relationship to food. Therefore, my knowledge about eating was not translating into my behavior.

By stepping back and assessing my patterns, I also recognized that when I ate too much, I didn’t feel good; I was uncomfortable, both physically and emotionally. When I didn’t eat as much, I felt better. I recognized that being a little hungry felt much better than feeling too full.

Over the next two to three weeks, I worked on becoming more comfortable with hunger. This was an interesting experience because hunger has a way of triggering a sense of urgency in us; it’s tied to our sense of survival. Over time, I learned to keep a protein bar or apple in my purse so I wouldn’t veer off toward the cinnamon bun stand.

It was very helpful to process all these experiences with my coach, exploring my beliefs and talking through the process without fear of judgment. And with each passing week, I lost more weight. In the course of three months, I dropped 32 pounds. My skin started to look better, and I had a bigger bounce in my step and more energy. It was the best I had felt in a very long time, and I was swimming in my old clothes. Buying smaller clothes was a great joy, and I have to admit it was wonderful to have people constantly telling me, “You look great!”

Later in the year, I took a three-week vacation to Europe for a cooking and wine tasting tour of Tuscany, Italy. I thought to myself, “Well, I’ll just let myself enjoy the trip, and when I return I’ll get back to being disciplined.”

In Europe I indulged — tiramisu, artisan breads, pasta covered in wonderfully rich sauces — so I was a bit hesitant to step on the scale when I returned home. To my delight, I saw that I had only gained half a pound! And by the next week, it was gone.

It’s been six months since I reached my target weight and it truly has been effortless to maintain. I feel firmly anchored in new beliefs now: Feeling hungry is better than feeling too full; my long-range goals are more important than short-term pleasure; compliments feel better than instant gratification.

Food is still part of my fun, but I want to be around a long time, enjoying my family and grandkids. I’d rather be disciplined now than feel my legs give out as I chase my grandson, or worse yet, watch him from the bench. Because this is my focus, I don’t feel deprived at all. I feel only gratitude and joy for my body now and that feels fantastic.

As a coach, I recommend:

If losing weight is one of your goals, I strongly suggest a two-pronged approach.

1.  Engage a coach to help you explore and clarify your beliefs about food and eating. The insights that result are invaluable. I truly believe this was a critical component of my success, and I know that it is key to maintaining my new physique.

2.  Work with a professional weight loss team. I had a great experience with the Bernstein Clinic, but there are so many options to choose from.

I also recommend a book that that was very helpful in exploring the power of personal values: What Matters Most: The Power of Living Your Values by Hyrum W. Smith. It’s a very effective way to reinforce the understanding that values do determine our behavior, and when you get a firm grip on that truth, it’s much easier to shape your own life.

Posted by Amazing Editor in A Page of Insight.