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The Legacy of My Black Pearls

A number of years ago, I traveled to China with a Feng Shui master and 22 of his students. Before we arrived, we were given a dossier on how to prepare for the trip and what to expect while traveling in China. The material indicated that negotiating on purchase prices was customary. Personally, I thought it was an uncivilized way to do business; but after a couple of days in China, I softened to the custom….

Each day that we traveled, we encountered many vendors who engaged us in negotiation and I began to see it as a way to interact with the locals; it was a dance of communication, with each party playing their part.

I would motion to inquire about the price and the Chinese vendor would key a number into a calculator, holding it up for me to see. I soon learned that one’s facial expressions are absolutely critical at this moment. A look of shock or dismay would inevitably lead to a lower offer; a look of satisfaction left me little room to bargain.

By the fifth day, I was really enjoying this game – and I was getting quite good at it. Others in my travel group noticed this and started asking me to negotiate their purchases for them. I was happy to do so, and to be honest, I was rather pleased that I had picked up this skill so quickly, despite my initial reservations.

The day before we were due to leave China, we stopped at a huge pearl factory. Hundreds of showcases filled multiple rooms, each displaying trays and trays of pearls. It was an incredible sight to see! Each room housed a different type of jewelry: necklaces in one room, earrings in the next, bracelets and brooches in yet another.

As I browsed through the merchandise, my eyes fell on a gorgeous strand of black pearls, elegantly displayed on a mannequin in the middle of the room. Carefully guarding my facial expressions, I initiated a “dance” with a young Chinese clerk, confident that I could secure this extraordinary necklace for a very reasonable price.

In the midst of our negotiations, a member of the group called on me to negotiate a pair of earrings for her. I hurried over, eager to demonstrate my great buying ability. As expected, I was successful in securing a good price for the earrings. Feeling quite self-assured, I returned to the necklace counter and resumed my own negotiations.

Suddenly, the driver of our tour bus shouted; we had two minutes to finish shopping! Quickly I made one last offer, signaling this was my best offer.

The young lady conferred with an elderly man who must have been her boss. He attempted to negotiate further, but I signaled no; this was my final offer. Reluctantly he nodded his head. The young lady smiled, opened up the showcase, and selected a strand from the dozens on the tray.

Thinking they were trying to sell me an inferior set of pearls, I balked. No, I indicated, I wanted to purchase the one on the mannequin. She looked startled and shook her head. But I firmly held my ground – the strand on the mannequin was the one I wanted to purchase.

Noticing the commotion, the boss returned to see what the problem was. After several heated exchanges, the young sales clerk reluctantly removed the necklace from the mannequin and packaged it up for me to take.

With a sigh of relief, I raced down the stairs and jumped on the bus, just as the driver was pulling away. Mission accomplished! And just in time.

As I strolled down the aisle to my seat near the back, I proudly showed off my purchase. Sinking into my seat, I smiled at the great buy I had just made. I really was good at this!

Suddenly, my smile faded as a feeling of horror came over me.

I took out the strand and examined it closer. The pearls were fake! In a flash I realized that the display strand was there to denote the size of the pearls in that particular showcase. The young clerk had been trying so hard to give me a strand of real pearls, but I had insisted on taking the imitation pearls!

That day, I learned a difficult lesson: New-found confidence can create a false sense of certainty… and there is a very thin line between overconfidence and complete incompetence.

Thoughts to Consider:

Everyone has experienced moments when we trip over the line between confidence and incompetence. These experiences can be quite humbling, or deeply humiliating. Humility reflects learning; humiliation reflects shame. When life smacks you upside the head, be sure to search for the underlying lesson. It’s the only way to turn an embarrassing experience into lifelong wisdom.

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Posted by Amazing Editor in A Page of Insight.