Making Decisions – How to Invest Your Most Precious Asset (Yourself!)
December 15, 2011“Wow, Margaret, you make decisions so quickly and easily!”
It was as surprising compliment – but a welcome one. As I let her words of acknowledgement sink in, I realized they highlighted two very important facts:
1. Many, many people struggle when it comes to making decisions, and
2. I had come a really lo-o-ong way in this department.
You see, I wasn’t always quick to make a decision. In fact, more times than I’d like to admit, I agonized over my options, afraid to commit myself one way or the other. What if I made the wrong choice?
Sometimes I’d let the question linger so long that the pressure grew too much to bare, and I’d finally make a hasty decision, just to get it over with. (I can assure you, that’s a quick path to regret.)
Fortunately, in my training to be a professional coach, I finally found the magic formula – a quick and easy decision-making process that has never steered me wrong. Want to know the secret?
It all comes down to values. When you know what means the most to you, it’s easy to weigh your options against these criteria. Let me explain, using a recent example from my own life.
A few months ago, I found myself facing more opportunities than I could possibly commit myself to: I was asked to run for mayor of my city; I was invited to step up an chair a local community foundation; and I had a chance to become Lieutenant Governor Of Education & Training in preparation to be the District Governor of District 21 for Toastmasters International. At first, all three options seemed quite compelling… but there was no way I could possibly fulfill all three roles, and maintain my professional and family commitments.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned through years of service work, it’s this: If you’re not honoring your own needs and values, you can’t very well serve the people you’re trying to support. (“Spreading myself too thin,” “volunteer burnout,” and “filling a slot” are courses in the School of Life that I’d rather not repeat!)
So, what to do? How to choose? In the past, this situation might have paralyzed me… but not this time!
I carefully weighed each option against two sets of specific criteria:
1. The things that make a volunteer position feel truly fulfilling for me (learning new things, making a difference, working with interesting people, and appreciation); and
2. The stated values of each organization.
I started with my first option: running for mayor. I am passionate about local politics, and the stated values of my community (environmental protection, local business and economic development, and education) resonate deeply with me. I know a lot about the election process, and I was certain I could fill the role well… but did I really feel like this feel like the best way for me to make a difference? Hmmm… not so much, I decided.
I turned my attention to the second option: being the chair of the Foundation. This is a wonderful group of people, and the organization is community focused, which definitely appeals to me. But when I took a closer look, I realized I was lacking the particular skills it would take to really make a difference in this specific organization. If I can’t take them to a new level and truly move the group forward, why me? I’m certain that someone else can make a bigger impact than I can.
When I considered the third option, District Governor of Toastmasters International, I could feel myself light up. I really was drawn to this opportunity, and I knew I could make a difference for this organization that I have grown to love so much. With strong mentors, eager volunteers, and a committed membership, there was no doubt I’d be surrounded by stimulating, interesting and very appreciative people. Perhaps most importantly, the stated values of Toastmasters – servant leadership, commitment to excellence, respect and integrity – are values I aspire to live by.
It didn’t take long for my decision to reveal itself, and the process was effortless. Knowing the criteria that mattered most – to me and to the organizations – made it easy to identify the best place to invest my time, talents and efforts.
When it came time to communicate my decisions, I must admit, I felt a touch of apprehension. Like most people, I hate to let others down. However, this time, the conversations were easier than ever before. Why? Because all I had to do was mention my values.
• “I’m so sorry, but I have to decline your gracious offer. As much as I love to support local politics, I really don’t feel that running for mayor is the best way for me to contribute. Perhaps I could assist by coaching the candidates through the election process?“
• “I’m so sorry, but I have to decline your gracious offer. I am committed to investing myself where I can make the most difference, and I just don’t think I have the skills that this organization needs. May I suggest some people who may be a better fit?”
When people heard my reasoning, they were more than receptive – they were truly supportive of my desire to live in alignment with my deepest values.
In the end, these decisions served us all far better than if I had caved in to the pressure to please.
Questions to Consider:
If I asked you about your values, could you name your top 5? If not, don’t worry… most people can’t. Feel free to visit my website and download – Live Your Values a quick and easy tool to help you pinpoint the things that mean the most to you.
When you know your values… your truest priorities… you have a ready-made set of criteria to weigh any opportunity against. Whether it’s a new job opportunity, a new relationship, or any other choice you face, knowing your priorities simplifies the decision-making process so radically, and so easily. And, it makes it much easier to communicate your decisions.
I strongly encourage you to take the time to get clear on your own priorities, your unique set of criteria. What keeps you inspired and motivated? What compels you to engage? You need to know! It’s the key to a life well lived.
Don’t forget… I’m on Facebook too! Have we connected yet? If not, please reach out and “friend” me! If you prefer Twitter, I’m there too. Let’s link up!
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