[1]It is estimated that more than half the meaning of our communication is transmitted through body language. Before we created words to communicate with each other, we used movements and gestures to communicate what we wanted.
Iconic actress Mae West said it best with this quote: “I speak two languages, Body and English.” The communication we convey with a hand gesture or a nod of the head is more powerful than we realize.
Our body language sends a message to the person we’re talking to, saying things like: “I’m bored and uninterested,” or “I’m interested and excited to be here” for example. No matter what words you use, your body language will always give you away. The body doesn’t lie.
Finishing the sentence
Just as we can’t form a verbal sentence with just one word (except for “go”), the meaning of a conversation can’t be derived simply from one bit of body language. We must look at the entire non-verbal communication to complete the sentence and read the message correctly.
So what kind of things can you do to ensure that a positive message is being conveyed?
- Maintain eye contact. Good eye contact shows that you are interested, connected and comfortable. When talking to a group, scan the room (slowly) so that you’re making eye contact with everyone. Avoid looking at just one person!
- Smile, it’s catchy. A relaxed smile shows your warmth and comfort and creates an upbeat, positive atmosphere. It shows you are interested and inviting conversation. A frown on the other hand makes you appear tense and standoffish. And besides that — smiling is contagious!
- Stand tall. When you stand, keep your back straight, your shoulder back and your head up. This will show that you are at ease in the situation. If you are slouching, with your arms folded across your chest, you are giving the impression that you are tired, defensive and uninterested.
- Talk to the hand. Lots of people talk with their hands. If you’re one of those people, I’d advise you to be aware of your own hand movements. Do you scratch your nose, your ear or your eyes when speaking? All these can be a sign of deception.Other hand movements to avoid include: pointing fingers, wringing your hand, knuckle cracking, picking your fingernails, or playing with your pocket change. You’re going to come across as being distracted or nervous. Keep your hands at your side, or place in your lap if you don’t know what to do with them. Steepling the hands is a sign of high confidence.
Rubbing the chin or placing the hand under the chin with one or two fingers on the cheek is a sign of contemplation or evaluation.
Not sure what you’re “saying” with your body language? One way to find out is to evaluate yourself in the mirror – or videotape yourself having a conversation with someone. Ask yourself “How would I view someone who looks, talks, and acts as I do?” Then, adjust accordingly!